Hate Mail

May 18th, 2005
"you will be dead before the end of this month"
The Sign'Ora files

His letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Subject: Heya Bob!

Hey There Bob,

I'm a longtime fan, and I thought I'd finally send you an email. I found JesusDressup when I was just a dopey highschool student. (I'm a dopey college student now.) Your quick wit and humor helped me get through some hard times as I was trying to secure myself in my atheism. I really think that you are a shining example of what atheists can do, and I think of you as a great role model for kids.

Do you know of any good resources to find out about famous atheists? I've never really had problems being an atheist, as I come from a very liberal family, but I know that a lot of people have. With your site, you've provided an answer for a lot of those people, and I find that to be very admirable. Well, I suppose I should get onto my big problem with JesusDressup. I bought a G4 Powerbook last year, and subsequently switched to using Firefox on my PC. I haven't seen it actually work right on any browsers other than Internet Explorer for
PC. It doesn't seem to work on any OS X browsers that I've seen.

Sometimes, Bob, my magnet set just isn't enough. I need to see Darth Jesus. I feel silly booting up Virtual PC just so that I can use JesusDressup. Do you have any plans to work on browser compatibility for JesusDressup? Also, I would be honored if you took a look at the online comic strip my roommate and I run. There are jokes about the christians every now and then, but it is not primarily religious humor like Satan's Salvation (which is a personal favorite of mine on your site). The current URL is tossers.keenspace.com We're working on getting Tossers.Net. I'm not trying to plug my comic or anything; I just respect your opinions, and I wonder what you think about it.

The picture is a couple of years old, but these things happen.
Anyway, I think that's about all I have to say.
I admire ya, Bob!

Cory Long


Hey Cory!
Well, you'll be happy to hear that the pages have been fixed! The Dress Up pages should be working now on all browsers (except for Safari. I was told by web experts that if you're on Safari you're just fucked).

I'm super-stoked that you're all hyped about my pad on the web! Stay tuned in to the site because you never know when one of these death threats will actually follow through and waste my ass! Yeeouch!!

Stay so sweet.
Normal Bob Smith

* * * * *
Hey Bob

First of all I would like to congratulate you on your web site. It has kept me laughing for hour. Little do the fundies realise how hysterical the hate mail is to us non-theists, plus your replies are just first class.

I have been meaning to send an e-mail to you for sometime, the catalyst for me writing to you was the hate mail you received from Sign'Ora. When I see the .co.za behind an e-mail address, I just cringe with shame at knowing how much of a fool they are going to make of my fellow country men look like.
Please rest assured that not all South Africans are like Sign'Ora, we have a rather healthy atheist percentage in our country. (25% in the Johannesburg region, second biggest grouping after xtianity) While looking at his e-mail address and hearing him state that he is a multi millionaire, I started to wonder what would a multi millionaire want to use a fee email service from a rather shoddy bank. Surely if he is so rich and his company is bringing in millions every month, he would be able to afford a domain name and e-mail for his company.

You should offer a word of advice to your hate mailers that there is this wonderful thing that all of Microsoft programs have, it called a spell checker. It's rather ingenious, all you have to do is type out your e-mail, spelling mistakes and all, then you just click on the spell check tab and wait for it, a true miracle, your spelling gets corrected, and you don't have to make a fool of your self, with people not thinking that you are illiterate. Trust me, it works, I use it all the time.

All the best and keep up the good work.

In anticipation of the next batch of hate mail

Hamish

* * * * *

Bob!
See if you can get some pictures of this guys one-eyed mug or bullet and knife riddled body!

Dude seems to be in denial about a lot of stuff. "Full of steroids" yet "never used any drug". His "brother was shot dead by a gangster". Hey fella, do you realize you and your brother were gangsters?

Johannesburg is a fucked up city in a fucked up country, and I imagine you have to be damn-near soulless to get on top there. I wonder how he's made his millions?  Preaching the word of his god? Lucrative racket, if you can stomach it. Or more likely, being a criminal? Also a lucrative racket, if you can stomach it.

Howard, Sean

do you know that I am a multi Millionaire

I pray the wrath of GOD on your life , as a Christian I should forgive your stupidity, but my bible also will not allow Jesus to be humiliated again as he was, on the day he died for you and me on the cross,

do you know that I am a multi Millionaire also have dyslexia and cannot read and Wright , I have a business that turns over Millions a month and to add to that I was like was lost and now am found , you don't have to be an idiot to make money , Just trust in Jesus and he will provide,
if you don't just remember on the day of judgment you will have to answer for this, so I pray to my God , the Holy Trinity that in Jesus name you be handed over for the destruction of your flesh , so that your sole may be judged infront of my heavenly father,
may God have mercy on your sole

Sign'Ora
ora@absamail.co.za

you will be dead before the end of this month

you will be dead before the end of this month , don't say I didn't warn you , you have one way out surrender to Jesus and live or face him to be judged , you will see your life slowly get worse and worse , may God have mercy on your sole .
 as you know your web sight allows children to be caught up in some thing they don't really know about and you'll have to answer to that.

Sign'Ora
ora@absamail.co.za

I'm going to be dead by the end of the month? Two weeks?!? How?? What for?? Is this just speculation or an "imagine if" scenario, or am I REALLY gonna die in two weeks?!? Because if you're serious then I've totally got to get rid of my site and make some pretty radical changes in my life!
Please clarify quickly (Preferably within 14 days).

Bob

in Jesus name I rebuke you

I pray in the name of Jesus that you see you are evil and repent , God said what ever I ask in the name of Jesus will be given unto me, so what is bound in heaven will be bound on earth , so in Jesus name I rebuke you,

Sign'Ora
ora@absamail.co.za

Wow! You are one scary fella.
Have you considered seeking professional help? No kidding. Rebuking evil in the name of the dead is a good indication you need help.

tell me where you live

tell me where you live and you'll se how scary I can be

Sign'Ora
ora@absamail.co.za

New York City!

tell me the address

Now dont be scared tell me the address so I can come around?

Sign'Ora
ora@absamail.co.za

Yay! 63 Union Square! I'll be there!
You'd better bring some friends!

you should try and give me a real address, are you really that frightened?

you must be really worried that a little old Christian can get to you, you should try and give me a real address, are you really that frightened?

Sign'Ora
ora@absamail.co.za

Wait. Now do you want my mail-me-a-bomb address or are you seriously catching a flight to legitimately have it out with me? They're two different addresses.

Bob

not so brave after all

not so brave after all hey?

Sign'Ora
ora@absamail.co.za

Well, an explosive arriving in the mail, I think even Hulk Hogan would be nervous about that. Don't you think?

Bob

...3 weeks later been shot again in the back and been stabbed 6 times while in the shower of my boxing club , leaving me for dead bleeding for 7 hours before some one found me, I was so pissed off I thought it was finally over , recovery took 3 months , but it just made revenge so sweet...

do you know that I was born in 1967 in a small town in JHB South Africa , I was born with a problem called dyslexia , having this problem cam with lots of extra baggage , including been the boy who came to school with the broken body ever once in a while because Dad decided you need to be tough ,so I became the bully at school , kicking the shit out of some one really turned me on, I became the national kick boxing champ 3 years in a row , became a bouncer at the age of 18 had 2 woman living with me at the age of 21 was having sex with 6 different woman , if I wanted some thing I would take it , my brother was 3 years older than me he could really kick ass , mine included , we would walk into any night club downtown Johannesburg and close it down for the night so that we could be alone in the club, if I think of it know I was doing just what the demons wanted ,by the age of  23 my brother was shot dead by a gangster, in a club after that it was me and anyone that just looked at me, me standing 6ft tall an 220 lbs made it so easy to do just like I wanted , the cops where just as afraid , I thought its time to get life over with been shot in the eye and I the back ,attacked by 15 men having been stabbed 13 times and left for dead , 3 weeks after 6 ops , walking out of hospital with only one eye , I went and took revenge , the one most important thing in my life had been taken from me and it mad life not worth living for, 3 weeks later been shot again in the back and been stabbed 6 times while in the shower of my boxing club , leaving me for dead bleeding for 7 hours before some one found me, I was so pissed off I thought it was finally over , recovery took 3 months , but it just made revenge so sweet , because every one thought I was dead ,revenge took longer than I thought.

On the way to destroy the 2 men that shot me in the back , I pull up out side an abandoned movie house , and I see about 8 young girls entering in , I thought to my self , self you have time to fuck a couple of  16 year olds , well I went inside and to my amusement it was a youth evening , after spending 20 min laughing and making remarks about the son of God , the young man in the front challenged me , and no won had ever done this and walked away , I walked up to him full of anger , hate , and the power of any demon you can imagine, spiting  and swearing , I was going to fuck him up . and with power that I have never seen he said in the name of Jesus I rebuke you , in one second the power of God had taken me the main man and turned me into a ball of useless meat , I couldn't believe it hear I was full of steroids the most feared man laying on my back unable to move , boy I wanted that power,

now if you want to hear what happened in my life after that email me back and ill try to be civil to as I should have been in the beginning , God has Shown me that I was wrong to threaten you , and your web site brought back the feeling I had to those that hurt me years ago.

Sign'Ora
ora@absamail.co.za

Dear Sign'Ora,
One thing I've learned in my 36 years is that the person with the most fucked up life isn't necessarily the wisest. It's a common misconception. In fact, often those with the most fucked up lives are the ones who are very poor decision makers (drug use, beating up people, threatening to kill strangers, belief in demons, etc, etc, etc...). This is the category that I have put you in: Bad Decision Maker. And I think that another bad decision you've made is believing whoever it was that told you about Jesus Christ.

I am usually a good decision maker. I've made my share of mistakes (none as idiotic as the ones you've mentioned in the story of your life), and it appears as though you're an extremely slow learner. You seem to still be making bad decisions. I mean, how stupid does one have to be to email a death threat to a web host in another country? Are you twelve?!?

You curling up into a ball after being rebuked in the name of Jesus will hardly convince me that you were in fact rebuked by a name of a dead person. What drugs did you say you were on at that time? How many blows had you taken in the head by then? How on the verge of a nervous breakdown were you? These questions I would have asked myself before assuming there'd been some kind of divine intervention at that confrontation. But stopping to think doesn't seem to be a habit you're into. Therefore you can threaten me with all the violence you can flex. It's not going to convince me there's a God, because there ain't.

AND IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I BELIEVE THEN I'M GOING TO FIND YOUR ADDRESS, COME THERE AND CLOBBER YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hahahahaha!!!
37 years old and acting this way.
You fucking moron.
Bob

Jesus still loves you even if you are gay

never used any drug or alcohol that's what made it so real , I under stand that think im a moron , but with the grace of God a very wealthy Moron , the work I do with inner city kids and youth around the world , I see the power of God in that , ive been to your country 6 times , and on your door step you can see what destruction demons are doing in your country , in the way you type and , words you use you sound gay , please forgive me if im wrong , but I just get the feeling you are very feminine , and I just wanted to tell you that Jesus still loves you even if you are gay

Sign'Ora
ora@absamail.co.za

Never used drugs?!? But you said, and I quote: "I was full of steroids!" YOU WERE THE "MOST FEARED MAN" FOR GOD'S SAKE! And a millionaire too! So impressive! And you, YOU Sign'Ora, curled up into a ball, rebuked by the name of Jesus, like a vampire to the cross.

You have improved so much! Such a role model you are for the children! Emailing death threats, trying to terrorize somebody into your beliefs. Nearly 40 years old and you're still seeking revenge, only now in the name of God. And still showing off about your wealth and strength, and calling me gay. 37 years old. Still just a child.

Sign'Ora, instead of working with kids and threatening people on the internet you need to fix yourself first. Stop the bragging. Stop seeking revenge. Stop the creepy "tell me your address, I'll show you scary" behavior. You're an adult now. Stop those things. Get some control over those emotions. Act responsibly. Be respectable. Think before you act.

These are important things to take care of if you want to call yourself a man.
Bob

 

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