Hate Mail

Hey people,
I'm sorry I haven't been updating hate mail like I normally would (once a week or so). I've been busy with the new show, working on freelance projects, new magnets, and shooting Amazing Strangers like they're goin' outta style! But don't dispare, I haven't forgotten about the site. It's all only going to get better, more stuff and as evil as never before! So here's some hate mail and a funny little riddle book that's sure to get a chuckle out of ya!

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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I hope you're ready for some big laughs! Are you sitting down? Because here we go!!!!!!!!

Ha ha! Na-cho-cheese.... I get it. Heh heh.

Heh heh, yeah. Baby buggy and barkin' at planes. Funny shit.

Okay, slow down. Still laughing at the word "sleevy." Lemme catch my breath. Okay what's everyone in the world doing at the same time? Do tell.

Wait, what?!?! God's Son?? HAHAHAHAHA!!! That's fuckin' HILARIOUS!!! Hahaha! Oh Jesus Christ! I LOVE THIS RIDDLE BOOK!!! HAHAHA!!!!!!

HA HA HA HA HA!! Oh FUCK! I'm chokin' on my mutha fuckin' saliva!!! These are the funniest jokes EVER!!!!! He said "eternal life!" HAHAHAHA!!! CLASSIC!!!

Hooray! Look at the funny gorilla-armed dimwit asking about his sins! "DUH! Will the bad things I've done (sins) keep me from going to heaven? Duuhhhh!!!!"
I wonder if he actually stopped to say "sins" there?

Hahahaha!!! This is the funniest, laugh-out-loud riddle book I've ever read! Thank you Mr. Salvation Armyman for more riddles about Jesus. That's just what we all need!



Hear my interview with him on episode #4 of my new show, NoBS Radio!

In Discussed with this Lack Of Appreciation

Ur A Lying Cheat Who Do U Think U Are?
Jesus Is Ur Saviour And This Is How U Re-pay him u have no right!
In Discussed with this Lack Of Appreciation
 
Yours
Angel

What? Just because He died for me and saved me from hell now I owe him a million dolllars?? Jesus stinks! He can smell my dirty socks in the sewer for all I care! Junky poo-head Jesus!

 

...who could make a joke out of our forgiveness.

It's not funny, at all. I don't understand anyone who could make a joke out of our forgiveness.

Sez
sereal@gmail.com

Would you like to understand?
Here. I'll try and help you to understand. Forgiveness doesn't come from some living being in the sky. Forgiveness is something much more serious between two human beings. It's not spirits and messiahs and supreme beings. It's wrong to trivialize it by pretending you can have the things you do wrong forgiven by an invisible being you pray to. It's not that simple.

I make a joke out of your brand of forgiveness because it is pretend, and you make it more important than the actual forgiveness you should be seeking from the people around you.

Now do you understand?
Bob

Now I still do not understand your mind set, although by the likes of your message I'm beginning to understand your not understanding or respectable of other people's understandings...

Jesus said, if you cannot forgive others then I will not forgive you.
Ever since Adam sinned which made all of man kind polluted with sin because he is the father of all man kind (you probably don't believe this, but work with me here) that means that the only way to make man kind free of sin again is for God to create a new Adam. The new Adam is Jesus, and through him man kind can be pure if they choose to be by confessing their sins and receiving the fact that He is their new Adam and rejecting the old Adam. Forgiveness is not easy, not for us to confess to a superior being (just like it would be difficult to tell the priminister that you er lets say, stole money from a workmate) and it's also not easy to ask forgiveness of others or forgive others, but He commands us to, because without that we would not be able to receive His forgiveness in the first place.
Now I still do not understand your mind set, although by the likes of your message I'm beginning to understand your not understanding or respectable of other people's understandings...

Sez
sereal@gmail.com

Wow! It's clear that you still do not understand. You seem to be totally hung up on this forgiveness from God over all else. You can't even think about anything else! This is why it is so destructive to believe that the only forgiveness that's important it the forgiveness from your God. Because forgiveness from God is complete bullshit. It's whatever you want it to be. In fact, I'm betting you could work up your conscience to forgive anything you do wrong by telling yourself that God forgives you. Gives me chills just thinking about it!

The only forgiveness that matters is the forgiveness from the people around you! The ones you're fucking over! If I lie to my brother and then feel regret for doing so, the first thing I should do is go to him and tell him I lied and ask for his forgiveness. It's about maintaining trust between people you care about! It's about being a better person!

Asking forgiveness from God is about getting into heaven. It's about ridding yourself of guilt without having to admit you're at fault to the people around you. Being brave and humble is admitting to someone face to face you fucked up. Now THAT'S the accomplishment! Admitting you're fucked up to someone in another dimension however is not heroic. It is only kooky.

Bob

 

agonizing over his future punishment

Subject: incredible blasphemy

Unfortunately (and this is deadly serious) I managed to fall into it.  I am now eternally lost and cannot be saved.  I know this within myself. Here is a page describing my experience.

Now that's really scary!
Jonathan
(agonizing over his future punishment)
jonathan.castro@virgin.net

Jonathan,
Boy have I got some awesome news for you Jonathan! I mean, you're totally gonna freak out when you hear this, to the point where I wouldn't be surprised if you got down on your knees and kissed my stinky feet on account of it! Are you ready?!? I mean, are you ready to completely flip your lid?!? Oh Christ, I wish I could be there to see your face when you read this! Ready? Okay, here it is–

There is no God, no heaven, no hell and no Satan!! I know! Fucking fantastic news, huh?!?! Yeah, you can dance around the room now... for the next 4 hours!!!!

And you wanna know something else? All of these emotions you've been feeling and depression and other symptoms, they're all normal things that most people go through at some point in their life! That totally rocks, doesn't it?? And as important as you think that you are with Satan and God fighting over your soul and the Holy Spirit giving a shit about whether or not you shut him out, it's all bullshit!! None of it is happening!! Fucking AWESOME!!

Truth is, you're just going to die at some point like everybody/thing else does. No angry God, no towering flames of eternal torment, and no huge ceremony for Jonathan Castro up in the afterlife! Just out-cold, never to wake again. Gone. You won't even know what hit you when it happens!

Want to know how I know all of this? Well, I'll tell you. Human beings are just a collection of cells working together. That's what we are! That's all living things are! We're not so special that as humans we became the cluster of cells that's somehow more magical and has an afterlife, more so than a crow or a dog or butterfly. We're just more complicated. A more complicated, evolved collection of cells. And I guarantee you that at no point in evolution did our particular collection of cells sprout an eternal soul-ghost. Even the most advanced collection of cells sewn together perfectly don't have the ability to produce an eternally living ghost. And you wanna know how I know this? Because bumblebees don't have souls! Neither do goldfish and seaweeds! And those are just collections of living cells too! Scientists have proved this!

So get off your soulless high horse, Jonathan, because another delusion you're having is delusions of grandeur. You're not all that important. Eternal life is not yours and it never was. You're hanging onto these ideas so that you'll have an excuse to give up. You've gotta cut that shit out. Be a man. Do something with your life, you dumb ass!

Look. To make you feel better I drew this picture of the new soulless Jonathan Castro! The nose is a little fucked up but that's what I see on you. Enjoy life dammit!

Bob

 

Why!

Subject: this picher

Why would you make something like this

Trina Carr

To play with.
Why? What are you doin' with it?!?!?!

Bob

 

Do you think this is right to have someone be able to dress Jesus son of God as a devil or a dancer.

Hi this is a complaint letter from a teen girl. You should not have done this little site, It is humiliating Christians Do you think this is right to have someone be able to dress Jesus son of God as a devil or a dancer. I am ashamed of what you did to this website. Now if children go to this site and dress him up in a devil out fit. What will they get out of this. I hope you think of this letter and change the mistakes that you did. This little dress up doll game you have of Jesus son of God is NOT OKAY.
 
Kathy Crozier
A Christian Teen

Well I am sorry to you, but my religion says it's okay to do this. I have religious beliefs that REQUIRE me to mock the gods of other religions for me to get into heaven. Just like how you have to believe the funny stories in the Bible to get into heaven, and a Jewish person has to believe that Jesus wasn't God to get into heaven, I have to mock your gods. That's just the way it is.

Sorry but I want to get into heaven just like everybody else. Ya do what ya gotta do.
It is OKAY.
Bob

 

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