Hi! It is Robin. I've written
here once before less than a year ago when I came from Scotland to
visit NYC and ran into Normal Bob.
Shortly after coming out to NYC the last time, I booked my next trip
up. Hey, I fuckin' fell in love with it, okay?
I didn't really expect to see Bob again during this trip. I didn't want
to bother him, or make him feel obliged to spend time with me. But
somehow we spent a lot of time together.
He introduced me to his friend Skater Bob,
who I had
assumed I wouldn't
like. He turns out to be the most charming fuckin' guy I've met. I
can't talk about him without sounding like I'm in love, I know.
When I met him, I was in Starbucks. He sits down and starts talking
about a movie he had seen, that was “classic”. In one scene, apparently
some guy shits in the sink and then starts kicking it to make it go
down the plug-hole. Then, some bitch was freebasing crack. Then he
started on about him banging girls, while punching his arm out and
shouting “BAM!”. He even advised me that it was perfect season for
stealing from tourists, and that if I should see a wallet, I should
“take that shit”.
There was a couple and their daughter sitting next to us. The parents
being disgusted and often tutted at what we were discussing, but the
daughter was mesmerized. Apparently, she gets off on these sort of
stories; she couldn't keep her eyes off Skater Bob. When she left, she
took a detour around our table so she could allow Skater Bob a view of
her ass. He's really a special guy.
All throughout my time in NYC, Normal Bob was excited about the
prospect of me seeing Quarter Guy. I
didn't think it'd happen, but I was warned that if it did, it'd happen
in the blink of an eye. And boy, I blinked too long! So, we are sitting
about, and Quarter Guy comes into Starbucks. Bob spots him immediately
and says “Quarter Guy”. I panic! “Robin, Quarter Guy!”. I stare at Bob.
“Robin, there is Quarter Guy. Look at him!” I snap out of it and then
sneak a peak at Quarter Guy.
He looked smaller, but disgustingly
respectable! Bob gives me his
camera to grab a picture of him. I run to the middle of Starbucks and
try to maneuver the camera to get a picture of Quarter Guy and me. But
I'm still scared, and in my panic, I get surprisingly crappy results!
Bob and I then run after him with the camera, but we were too slow.
I'll never get over the lost opportunity.
I was also lucky enough to meet up
with Normal Bob's friend Colyn a few
times. I spent New Years Eve with her in a honky-tonk bar in midtown.
If it's possible, she got cuter. That was not my usual NYE!
But definitely the funniest part of my trip was our excursion to the
World Trade Center. Infact, I can't type this without laughing. And
you're not going to laugh much. Normal Bob, Skater Bob and I walk up
towards the WTC for Skater Bob to get his train. He starts shouting “Oh
WTC baby, I've been waiting my whole fuckin' life to get here. Ground
Zero baby, I fuckin' love this place. G to the fuckin' Z baby!!”.
He shouts all this shit, and then
when we arrive at the WTC he starts
shouting at people walking by: “Man, I fuckin' love what they've done
to this place! I wish I'd been here the day they blew this place to
shmithereens”. The worst was “Can you smell the bodies?”.
So there we were, standing at this grave having the biggest laugh. I
couldn't contain myself. We then get a Japanese tourist to take a
picture of us (payback) infront of the WTC, with Skater Bob in his
trademark pose.
We're sick.
Robin from Scotland |
| “If i ever needed proof that chritianity is phsyco
here it is. You dont feel bad at all cruisifing someone?” |
If you created this pathetic "Dress up jesus
crap" your fucking crazy,
man.
You actually want me to cruisify someone and hang
this in my locker?? Not only is this extremely digusting my i mean what
if little kids are reading this... If i ever needed proof that
chritianity is phsyco here it is. You dont feel bad at all cruisifing
someone?
Well pardon me, but i think to commit urself, man.
Cause this shit is crazy, even if you are some "believer" or whatever,
not only does god not exsist, and jesus is just a sad jewish person but
saying this crusifing people is good because of their "sins" is crazy
and wrong... didnt your mother ever tell you not to crusify people? Man
if i knew where you lived id have you commited myself. Crazy bastard.
Guy Mor |
You see that KKK hood, and under it you see your own views! You see
that Hitler mustache and in that you see yourself. You see the sins of
Darth Vader in yourself as well! And even on the days when you're
simply feeling Grouchy, you know that this too is a sin against the
Almighty God which deserves no less than a nailing to those planks of
wood.
I see what you are doing there. You think that by
pretending God doesn't exist you won't have to pay. Oh Guy. It makes no
difference what you do, because in the end you will pay in Hell for
your crimes against your Lord. Whether you flew a plane into the World
Trade Center, killed teenagers in their dreams with your razor claw
glove, or you're the gay muppet on a children's television show, you
will all pay just as they do. In hell. This is the price that Jesus
tried to pay for you, if only you'd believe.
Guy, did you consider even for a minute that quite
possibly you stumbled across my site because Jesus was trying to tell
you something in code? Think about it.
Bob |
| “Frankly
i do not condone this twisted side of ur religion that infurs power
from death of its non-believers that u posses and portrey...” |
First off i have to say that many ppl believe in god, but they are not
crazy like you. I should condemn u just for saying the word "sin".
Jesus did not have ANYTHING to do with ur cooky religion, he was a man
who was not happy with his jewish upbringing and wanted something else
for himself, he was killed because some ppl didnt like him and he was
too stupid to do anything about this, so dont feed me that crap about
how he suffered for ppl, because he didnt mean to and he does not know
or care about this stupid christianity that some idiots started 200
years after he died while feasting on the remains of a cruisified man!
It is u and all those who USED this poor man to create this sadistic
religion that will go to the hell that patheticly believe in!
No no, i dont believe in god because he does not exsist, just thinking
that he does it so incredibly stupid, do u still believe that santa
claus exsists, or that the easter bunny or that fucking pikachu? Well
at least u can say that much... but ur still a sad man for seaking
meaning and purpose in this pathetic religion that u trust like so many
others so blindly, and u do not even check to see if its real.
But this is beside the point, im so sure ur crazy and stupid that there
is nothing u can say to change my mind, and in my world u wont live
this way for long.
All i want to say is this - There are good solid ppl who still believe
in god, why? well it dosent truly matter, maybe they are so used to it
its like air for them, im not saying that all ppl who believe in god
are wrong, just stupid. But YOU, now there is something not right with
u. You believe in hurting ppl for this religion, maybe not in real life
but who knows what this may come to. Believing that gay ppl and those
with beliefs different from urs are "sinners" is not just wrong but
sadistic! Yes Hitler is stupid and murderers should be killed but
exposing children to this is absurd, surely u understand that no parent
will condone having a cut-out of a cruisified man (u dont hate any
women? hmm) in ur locker or anywhere else. Even though this symblizes
some sick depraved justice for u ur not any diffrent from those u try
to kill, Hitler thought that everyone but him where sinners and wrong
just like u and that death was good to some. Frankly i do not condone
this twisted side of ur religion that infurs power from death of its
non-believers that u posses and portrey... Again i say that if i knew
where u lived id have u commited.
Guy Mor
|
You think that Darth Vader, the evilest villain in
the whole galaxy doesn't deserve to be crucified?!? He made a star ship
with enough power to blow up a planet, and it wasn't a lie! He even
blew one up just to test it out, for Christ's sake! And then he choked
that one guy to death using the dark side of The Force! And what about
the Ku Klux Klan? They deserve to be crucified just for all the people
they hate! Everybody on the bandwagon knows to hate the KKK! What are
you? A racist?!?
You atheists just think everybody should be set free because there's no
such thing as sin. Like there's no right or wrong, just a big accident
with no meaning, because everybody is just an glorified monkey and you
can do whatever you want! Well, I'm sorry, but the bible says "an eye
for an eye" and to me that makes it all right for me to crucify Adolph
Hitler to a cross, and sell a magnet
toy of it for $14. It's no
different than if you atheists made a dress up game where you could
crucify an chimpanzee to a pentagram. It's the same thing, and you'd
say that was okay! So explain that contradiction in your beliefs! You
can't can you? I didn't think so. You're just as bad as all of those
people, but you don't want to face your time on that cross along side
all of those guys, and your atheist buddy Marilyn Manson!!!
Bob |
| “why the fuck would i wanna be an ass wipe like u and
go cruisify FICTIONAL characters?? Earth to bob! Darth vader does not
exsist!” |
You deal too much with what ppl think is right and
wrong. dont u understand that it is all the same illusion, Evil is
just a small part of this universe, if u want to kill someone go do it
but dont wait for some god to offer u "justice" or anyone else for that
matter. and if u dont like them, go cruisify them urself why the fuck
would i wanna be an ass wipe like u and go cruisify FICTIONAL
characters?? Earth to bob! Darth vader does not exsist. Nor do many of
these "evil" ppl that u seek justice against. Why must u dwell on these
ppl's death? dont u think thats sick?
And the KKK, u dont like them go kill them but
stop hating ppl cause ur just like them!! i keep telling u that. u kill
who u dont like, they would do the same... maybe i should cruisify u.
Why? well u display evil, not because u dont like evil ppl but because
u want to kill them.
Sure everything is incidental. There is no plan or
god. Good and Bad are ways to decript humen interaction, and nothing
more and in this infinate universe we matter not. I live in society
just like u but i dont go around wanting to cruisify ppl... dont u
think thats evil to want to kill ppl, as bad as they are, just to get
ur "justice" but still killing ppl? You seem to work along ur insane
path of "justice" through this medium of religous stupidity that wants
to kill ppl in the way that jesus died, cause this is somehow
respected or good... Well its not!!
Screw what the bible says, dont u dare quote that
crap to me! Contradiction? please! You will find contradiction
everywhere u go, and dont justify the chrisitian comunity to me because
ur all crooks and idiots. Athiests just live their lives freely, they
dont have a special thing to believe in or a certain and written
path... We are not one group, we are what remains on humanity out of
those god believing idiots.
OK this is getting old. Im going to say this - YES i would like to
kill many ppl... as a jew i would like to kill hitler and yeh sure its
fun but i dont seek this loony justice of killing ppl out of
spite or because thats what the freaking Bible says that u should do!
Also i think ur stupid for believing in god, so that dosent
help ur case because ur blind belief of this religion is crazy in the
first place, u never know what ur doing or what ur doing because thats
what god tells u.
Why dont u ask ur buddy god to kill those ppl, or why he created them...
Guy Mor |
| Holy Christ! Okay, I gotta bring this to an end. Do you
really think I'm that wacky of a Christian? Jesus Christ! I'm even
seeking revenge on Osker the Grouch for Christ's sake!
Guy, I'm an atheist. The dress up page is more of
the crazy bull shit I post every day. I'm mocking the religion openly
because I think that it's all bull shit. And I made the page because I
like dressing up Jesus Christ as Hitler. I'm a freak like that. And
mixing up JC's costumes and putting a KKK hood on Him with the Tinky
Winky body and the Freddy glove is how I get my perverted kicks. I
really just had no idea that I'd done such a good job at mimicking a
wacky fundie.
Well now I know.
Thanks for what you said about atheists. I couldn't agree more.
Bob
http://www.normalbobsmith.com |
|
| “...allow
others to dress him up as various characters, thus making the entire
Christian community and belief system a complete mockery.” |
Dear "Bob",
A friend of mine just showed me your website featuring the "Dress
Up
Jesus" set. I was more than a little disturbed by the site and at
first
glance immediately thought that it must have come from a seriously
deranged individual. However, then I took a look at several of your
other novelties, like the Catholic school girl set, and realized that
you are not deranged, but horribly misguided and, in a word, sick.
I also realize that this email will not change
your business or website, yet I still felt compelled to write and share
my feelings concerning Jesus with you. I feel that by turning the
Christ into an object for profit in this way is not only sacrilegious
but twisted and in a sense, down right evil. I have to wonder about the
mental health of a person who finds this kind of behavior not only
acceptable, but innocent. What is worse is you are doing it with the
false claim of "crucifying" other villains. If that was indeed your
motive than the cross should have been empty. Yet you chose to depict
the Messiah figure on the cross (in briefs, no less) and allow others
to dress him up as various characters, thus making the entire Christian
community and belief system a complete mockery. I am sure you will
continue your business as you see fit, but I felt as a member of the
Christian community, I should explain your business to you from our
perspective.
God bless,
Richard Nav |
Well if I am, as you say, "making a complete mockery of
the entire Christian community" I do not mean to. I am simply, and very
respectively, depicting The Christ (whom we all agree is the Messiah)
on the cross upon which He was originally assassinated. No foul. And in
case you didn't know, He was actually crucified NAKED. And last I
checked, nudity is a sin, So I'm left with few options as you can see.
And everyone knows that the dress up game rules require me to start Him
off in briefs. That's just what all dress up characters start out in.
It didn't even cross my mind that someone would get upset over such a
thing.
From the sound of it, you appear sympathize with the villains I posted
there. Is that correct? And in that it looks to me like you're bringing
together the entire Christian community to stand along side Osama bin
Laden, the Uni-bomber, and the gay Tele-tubby. If this is what you're
doing then I think that your beliefs are far more twisted and deranged
than anything I have done with my innocent dress up toy. In fact, I
would in turn wonder about your mental health (and anybody's for that
matter) who does not think these criminals should be punished for their
sins, even if it is just in an internet game.
Let me conclude this by also stating that your idea of having an empty
cross where you can drag the villain to it for crucifixion does not
sound even half as fun as the game I've made. I don't think that anyone
would visit the page of such a game, and as a result your message would
go completely unheard. If this is not reason enough to retract your
entire email, then I don't know what is.
As a favor to the Christian community (of which I am part), I am
leaving the door open for your retraction. I suggest you walk through.
Bob
|
| “He
died not only to forgive our sins, but the sins of Hitler, Osama, the
unibomber and so many others, despicable as they may be.” |
No Bob, I do not sympathize with historical
villains, nor do I think they should go unpunished, nor am I standing
the Christian community along side them. But don't you see that you are
setting Christ beside them? Your little game, as you call it, does not
crucify people like Osama Bin Laden, or Hitler. Instead what it does is
dress Jesus up like those horrible individuals, thus turning Christ
into an evil figure. That is why I feel it is sacrilegious. And do you
remember the point of the cross? Jesus died so that others would not
have to. He died not only to forgive our sins, but the sins of Hitler,
Osama, the unibomber and so many others, despicable as they may be.
Furthermore, it is not our place to decide who gets punished and how.
Yes, I am aware about what the bible has to say about nudity. I am also
aware that the bible warns against judgment. Neither you, nor I or
anyone else has the right to say what should happen to the evil-doers
you depict in your game (and for the record, I do believe they should
be punished).
And I do agree with you; a "game" like this with
an empty cross would not be as much fun I suppose. But I suppose that,
that is exactly my point. Jesus' crucifixion is not something to be
taken lightly. It is not a joke, and it is certainly not a game.
Richard Nav |
| Now I see where you are coming from, but it seems that
you have forgotten one important fact. It is not me who put Jesus along
side those criminals. It was He Himself who did so! In Jesus' own words
He took on ALL the sins of man and hung on that cross to pay the price
for them! I, Richard, am doing GOD'S WILL demonstrating this on the
Internet (and on store shelves with my magnet version).
And it is not me who says what should happen to
the evil doers! It was God Himself when He said that it is US (the
people of earth) that should be hanging on that cross! Us, Richard! You
and me. I know that you probably aren't pleased to hear that our god
wants us on that cross, but it's a sad, cruel, undeniable FACT.
To me Richard it sounds as if you don't want to
lump yourself in with those criminals. You think that your sins weren't
as sinful as say, Hitler's. But it was God who said, "If you have
lusted, then you have already committed adultry. If you hated even one
person, then you have murdered! If you have thought about committing an
act of genocide on a particular race of people, then you have already
committed genocide!"
That means you Richard. Yes, you.
Do you think now that I take this lightly? Or
perhaps I take this more seriously than anyone you've ever met before
in your entire life.
Think about it.
Bob |
|
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