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Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Photo by Neil Abramson

Hey! It's been a while since I got everybody up to date on what I've been up to and the things going on, of which there are many. First off, and most importantly, I will be appearing at Arizona State University as a guest of their Secular Freethought Society! We're looking for Unholy Army schoolgirls to help out on Monday and Tuesday (Mar. 6th & 7th) where I'll be handing out GOD IS FAKEs and raising hell there in Tempe. If you're interested in joining in the fun email me! I would love to have you there! Please come. I'll be all alone out there without a God watching over me. Seriously. Join me.

Of course, as you all know, I'm addicted to Sheeples. I really can't get my fill of them, and it seems like I should because they're just too easy! They're all just sittin' there waiting to be Sheepled and all I gotta do is take 'em! So if you happen across any undeniable Sheeple quote I need to be made aware of please let me know. They're priceless.

I just got in the prototype for the new magnets and they look incredible! They're so unbelievable to look at, and all those characters on one page is truly evil, yet also good! Take a look! And if you want them for yourself, you can get them here. Right now they're only $14, but the price will probably go up when they arrive seeing as how I'm getting a smaller amount of these printed this time.

The movie is still makin' the rounds. It got a great response at the Big Sky Film Fest in Montana, and my devilish mug even made the front page of the Missoula News! Isn't that great? And we'll also be showing it in AZ first week of next month so be there for that if you're in the area. And the DVD has been selling well. If you want to get the movie for yourself, go here. Such a fun hour and a half!

Also, I just gave a set of magnets to Phillip Semore Hoffman. And um, I think some more stuff will come to me later today, but this is all I got for now. But check back if you wanna.


Why would you mock a man who died so you could be alive?

Evan Harris

Because it's a fake story.


Is it so hard to believe?

How could it be fake? Is it so hard to believe?

Evan Harris

Adam and Eve and the snake that talked. The earth flood and the animals all on one boat strolling to the ark on their own. The messiah man who floated up into the sky after his resurrection. The horse-drawn chariots of angels literally flying through the clouds over people's heads while they gazed up and watched it fly by.

Now ask me your question again.

I have a friend that I can confide in that won't tell my secrets, won't laugh at or criticize me.

You're well read in the Bible. Congratulations, not many people can claim that. It seems difficult, yes. Didn't Jesus say that everything is possible for him who believes? (Mark 9). I love God, and I believe. So can't it be possible? Please note that I'm not trying to argue to prove I'm right. I just want to talk and find out another point of view. How do you believe the world came to be? The Big Bang? I only find it impossible to have life as complex as Earth's to be just coincidence. It's impossible for me not to believe there is a God who loves me. I have a friend that I can confide in that won't tell my secrets, won't laugh at or criticize me. The Bible says "For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 57:10

Email soon!
Evan Harris

Evan, I already have somebody who won't tell my secrets or laugh at me, and he's my best friend in the whole-wide world. He's a chipper little ghost about the size of my hand who does funny soft-shoe dances on the top of my head, and when I look in the mirror he's there waving at me asking to hear all of my secrets! He's named Skippy! And he's so cute! No one can see him sittin' there on my head all the day long, but he's there. And you want to know how I know he's there? Because he promised me so! Every so often Skippy leans down and whispers in my ear, "I'm here Bob. I promise! Tell me your secrets whenever you want. I'll keep 'em safe in a special secret box tucked away at tho bottom of my coat pocket."
He promised me that too.

Evan! You know what? Our secret-keeping friends should meet! Skippy & Jesus and you & me should get together! We could take them both out for a picnic in the park! And we can bring pretend marshmallow pies and rainbow lemonade! Because you wanna know somethin' else, Evan? Skippy promised me too that if I could believe in rainbow lemonade that I could also believe in other things and make them come true too. And you wanna know what Skippy told me next? Now you gotta keep this a secret, Evan. Okay? Promise!

Okay, Skippy told me of a magical place up in the sky that's so wonderful you would never believe it to be true, BUT IT IS! It is true Evan, and it's more beautiful and special than any place you've ever seen before!!!!! And you wanna know why I'm telling our secret to you, Evan? I'm telling you because Skippy told me that your Jesus-friend told you about the same place! And I think we both know what place our special secret-keeping friends are talking about, huh? DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD! Just whisper it in your head so that only our special friends can hear. Okay? Do it now.

Yep! Skippy just told me that we're all talkin' about the same place!!!!!!! And we're all going to go there! Can you believe it, Evan?!?! I can! I got to! Because after all, if we don't believe it won't be for real. I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!

So I'll meet you for that picnic around 3. Sound good?
Um, can you bring the magic rainbow lemonade? I ran out.

I never asked for sarcasm.

Bob, I just wanted to talk. I wanted to know what you thought. I never asked for sarcasm. This is my last email. You don't ever have to hear from me again. I'm sorry I wasted your time. When I die, I'm going to be in that wonderful place called heaven. I hope to see you there too.

Evan Harris

Well, you'd better get used it, because when you talk like that to complete strangers it's what they're gonna be thinkin'.

I hope you've learned a valuable lesson here today, Evan. People are going to look at you as a touch off, and unfit to trust with logical tasks.


in Jesus name i bind you and command that you loose your hold on this man

In Jesus name i speak directly to any unclean spirit in this mans body and in
Jesus name i bind you and command that you loose your hold on this man.In Jesus name I come to the Father and ask for mercy on this soul Amen.

Samuel Leal

Wow. You really are a Jesus-loving loon, huh?
Had you tried a garlic necklace draped over a headless chicken? Sometimes that works too.

Mmm, garlic chicken... mmmm.


“With out prayers, God wouldn't know what's on our mind. God loves to chat with us”

um excuse me sir, but I was wondering exactly what you meant by your prayers did nothing on your flashy add at the top of the screen on your site. our prayers save us from the sins we commit everyday. With out prayers, God wouldn't know what's on our mind. God loves to chat with us, and if you disagree, you need to take that up with the creator.

I recently went through my doubting stage, but now I have no doubt. God is great. he is an awesome person to be with because he knows what's good for you. if you have any questions about anything I said, please, please ask them, because I care about your faith and your health. Heaven is gona be awesome, and hope to see you there.

Faithfully, Ragan
Isaiah 43:1-2

What I meant was that people have been praying for years that my website would go away, and that Jesus Dress Up would disappear. But instead what's happened is I went and turned the web site into best-selling fridge magnets! And I've been made into a movie! So thus, the prayers have done nothing.

In fact they almost seem to be having the reverse effect! I guess from that angle I can see how you might be confused, because they ARE in fact doing something. It's just the opposite of what everyone's prayed for.


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All opinions, writings, illustrations & designs are that of Normal Bob Smith (C) 2000 - 2012
Email bob@normalbobsmith.com. Received emails may be displayed publicly.



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