Hate Mail

The Myspace Kelly files
In Kelly's profile she describes herself as "easy to get along with, a lot of fun" and "up for anything! I like everything : )" Seriously! Go look for yourself! So I thought- Why not get to know Myspace Kelly even better? Because she sounds like such a sweet girl!

Her letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Latest Updates


Well, tomorrow's the BIG day! That's right. Tomorrow I'm going to Jesus Camp at the Angelika Film Center, dressed up as Satan! And if you DON'T think that's a big deal I suggest you read Myspace Kelly's rants to the right. >>

I plan on showing up there probably around 5 pm or so, so you should come! It'll be fun! I'm bringing cameras! I've got to perform for the cameras! I'll interview you, and others! How can you resist?? But either way, whether you're there or not, I'll watch the film and have for you pictures and a review probably by Monday.

As for anything else going on, what more do you need?? A chatroom? Well I got that. And we've been hittin' that every night at around 8 EST.

What else you need? Magnets? Well I got those too. And I suggest that if you want the Christmas ones for Christmas you start getting them now! It wouldn't be the first time I sold out before the holidays and left everyone stranded and giftless.

Anyhow, I hope to see you tomorrow. And if you gotta anything to say about Kelly here>> email me! I'll post it below all my bullshit here.


Subject: oh, myspace Kelly....

You know myspace "up for anything" Kelly, I've read a lot of hate mail from annoyingly shrill teenage girls with as much personality as the dogshit in my backyard, but with you, it was really special. Mostly because when I read "kissy my pissy", I sprayed coffee all over the monitor. And when I sent the page to my friend Holly, she pretty much did the same thing. Thank you for bringing us closer together.

(And thank you Bob, for giving me a reason to put off doing any actual work for a good ten minutes.)

Lauren
myspace.com/
peaceisfortreehuggers

UR FUCKIN RETARTED AS FUCK U HAVE MAJOR PROBLEMS!!!!!

NORMAL BOB SMITH?!?!?!?!?!?! U CALL THIS FUCKIN NORMAL UR HELLA CRAZY!!!! UR FUCKIN RETARTED AS FUCK U HAVE MAJOR PROBLEMS!!!!! GET A FUCKIN LIFE U PATHETIC PEICE OF SHIT

Kelly
Myspace.com

Are you flirting with me? ;)

Bob
myspace.com/normalbobsmith

u have the nerve to put your name as NORMAL BOB SMITH what the fuck

no u fuckin freak u r crazy as fuck what do u do just go through life actin like the fuckin devil????? that is just not normal and then u have the nerve to put your name as NORMAL BOB SMITH what the fuck

Kelly
Myspace.com

You know how when a little girl in school hits and teases the boy she likes most? Well from the sound of your emails I'd say you must think I'm one very special, handsome little man!

I'm flattered Kelly. Thank you. I think you sound pretty cute too. ;) Would you kissy my pissy?

Bob
myspace.com/normalbobsmith

ur a sick fucker

ur a sick fucker u know that!!!!

Kelly
Myspace.com

If you read back through these emails you clearly are the one who seems the more off-balanced. Seriously. Take a chill pill. You're gonna give yourself a heartattack!

Bob
myspace.com/normalbobsmith

just get a life!!!!

im gonna give myself a heart attack i mean come on now people like u r descusting u have nothing better to do than go around acting like somthing ur not its pathetic so why dont u just get a life!!!!

Kelly
Myspace.com

"Wha wha wha wha! You suck! Wha wha wha wha! Get a life! Wha wha wha wha! I hate you! It's disgusting! Ur gross! Wha wha wha wha!!!!"

Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Fiirst things first. Fix your personality. You need to not be so uptight, bitchin' and complaining all the time. All right?

It's called "Keepin' your cool."
It's important! Jeesh!

Bob
myspace.com/normalbobsmith

U THINK UR THE DEVIL OR SOME SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"PERSONALITY" ok lets talk about peronality!!!! U THINK UR THE DEVIL OR SOME SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i need to work on my personality?!?!?!?! r u serious lol

Kelly
Myspace.com

Kelly, I don't think I'm the devil. It's just a costume I wear to get wacky people such as yourself to start kickin' over lamps and throwin' chairs around.

You see, I'm just a guy. Just a regular man dressed in a halloween costume. But people like you turn into complete freakazoids when they see somebody dressed up in a costime. It's funny! It's amusing to me and the rational public. It's a lot like when you put a paperbag over your head to make your dog go bananas, except with people!

Bob
myspace.com/normalbobsmith
PS. If you haven't done the paperbag/dog thing, you should. It's hilarious!

to wear a fuckin costum makin other people uncomforatble isnt a joke its down right rude and disrespectful

dude u confuse me... why would u do that tell a joke or watch tv to amuse ur self u dont need to wear a fuckin costum makin other people uncomforatble isnt a joke its down right rude and disrespectful

Kelly
Myspace.com

Wow. You just won't go away. You really DO have a crush on me! Well, Kelly, let me tell you this- I think you're kinda cute too ;)

Where you from? Wanna get dinner sometime? I've got a lot of interesting ideas about how you could get some red makeup smeared on ya. Interested?

Bob
myspace.com/normalbobsmith

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Email bob@normalbobsmith.com. Received emails may be displayed publicly.

NORMAL BOB SMITH DESIGN NEW YORK

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