Hate Mail "no one want to married a guy like you because you are so mean"
Happy Valentine's Day!

Love Letters from Little Girls from all over the World!

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Happy Valentine's Day! Have you already dressed up Jesus as a cherub? Have you taken a peek at Jesus penis? Have you told your valentines how much you love them? Well, this page of hate mail is dedicated to all my valentines! That's you people!! So to begin here is an email from a fan who I went to dinner with yesterday.


Just wanted to send a special thanks for taking the time to make my visit to New York extra special. I still can't get over the starry-eyed bliss of having spent an evening with you, the legend, the guy I know so well through years of checking in on the website. I've quietly and voyeuristically shared your joys and pains over the years. Makes me kinda wonder if my ex was right in her observation that I was being somewhat obsessive about you. But your website really is the shit. The most entertaining atheist website on the internet. I can't help it, goddammit.

Good luck in your Flash studies - can't wait to see some good stuff in the near future. Which reminds me, can't remember where I found this, but here's a link a pretty decent flash video series (Peter Godly): click on 'watch this movie'

I know it's unlikely - but if you're ever in Colorado, feel free to drop by anytime.

Take care and thanks again. You rock.


Subject: One Issue

I think your site is hilarious, and it's a really good idea.

The only issue that upset me is that there is the option to dress Muhammad the pig up in a "hassidic" Jew's outfit. It seems to me, that it is slightly anti-Semitic. Please reply to me with an explanation (I might have misunderstood) or with a correction. I would love to link to your site from my organizations site, but I need to have an answer as to why there is the "hassidic" Jew option.

Israel Appel
B'nai Elim of New York

It's completely up to you if you want to link it up or not, but it is not going to change. I am an atheist and am quite outspoken about my anti-religion views. I mock Jesus, I mock Muhammad, and I even mock myself.
If you're reading ancient scribes and believing them over science and common sense, then prepare to be mocked.

Hell, prepare to be mocked no matter who you are. None of us are above a swift pie in the face. Take it or leave it.


I e-mailed you before I saw anything. Ok, you're doing a great job, disregard my e-mail.

Israel Appel
B'nai Elim of New York

“putting close on jesus like bunny rabbit on stuff”

um putting close on jesus like bunny rabbit on stuff so love tiffany


cool you're putting bunny close on jesus? isn't it fun? thank you! I made the page love bob
“ur stupid and mean”

ur stupid and mean and u married and have kids and go to church write back love tiffany

hi yer a stupid face chicken brain no i am not married with no children at all thank you
love bob
your dum
“no one want to married a guy like you because you are so mean”

well no one want to married a guy like you because you are so mean love
write back

well you want to marry me because you keep emailing me and telling me to write back you sound like you love me haha so your the one who's stupid! haha write back


“I have a good mind to report you to the police! In fact, I will.”

Are you Catholic? You are so racist I can't believe it! How dare you dress up Jesus in bunny clothes?! I have a good mind to report you to the police! In fact, I will. See you with the police you racist fool. How dare you...

Person that hates you.
Hanny Wanny

No problem. I'll bake a batch of cookies for the officers to snack on when they get here. Please tell me when they're coming. I need to get a quart of milk too.


“Do you know I have connections with the FBI? and MI6.”

I hate you. I don't care if you don't care they'll still be there. Are you a catholic? Do you know I have connections with the FBI? and MI6.

Person who hates you
Hanny Wanny

You have connections with both the FBI and Mission Impossible Part 6? Are you going to send Tom Cruise after me too? I better make a double batch and get a half gallon!

Person who's really, really scared.

“Are you Catholic?”

Are you Catholic?

Hanny Wanny

No! Are you a Catholic?!?


“I'm not an idiot!”

Haha, no! Yeesh, I'm not an idiot!

Hanny Wanny

“The only famous person you're related to is a drug smuggler from Iran.”

Wot religon r u den? R u a Muslim?
No-one likes you. Not even your mother. The only famous person you're related to is a drug smuggler from Iran. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Your mum is so fat so makes free willy look like a tic-tac.

Hanny Wanny

You know what? I bet you'd like this page where you can actually torture and hurt me! http://www.normalbobsmith.com/revenge/
I made the page just for people who felt the way you do! Isn't that sweet of me? Tell me what you like best about it.

I am an atheist.

“Thank you so very much for your lovely website, you know the one where I can kill you?”

Thank you so very much for your lovely website, you know the one where I can kill you?
Thank you so very much.

Person you wants to kill you.
Hanny Wanny

Hooray! You love my site!


“No I do not, I was just being polite”

No I do not, I was just being polite.

Person that HATES you.

Hanny Wanny




“Subject: mad!!!”

Subject: mad!!!

u need 2 find some apropriot things to put on jesus

Ciara Nickell

For instance??


“maby a nice angle robe”

like no devil maby a nice angle robe cause I am a christian and that is not
apropreat like maby some christian clothes not the DEVEIL please do that

Ciara Nickell

What are Christian clothes?


“like robes and haylows”

like robes and haylows and stuf like tat and are u a teen

Ciara Nickell

No. I am a 30-something. Are YOU a teen!?!?!?!


“i dont tell my age 2 strangers”

i dont tell my age 2 strangers

Ciara Nickell

And apparently I do, you sly rat! Haha! You totally tricked me into giving my age!
You're so naughty!!


“Do not email my daughter again.”

Do not email my daughter again. If you are 30 something then you do not need to be emailing girls and asking them if they are teens. And why are you on a dress up doll website. To me that sounds kind of fishy. My husband is a cop and we can find out who you are. Thank you very much.

Alisa (her mom)

I'll have you know, Mrs. Nickell, that it was your DAUGHTER that emailed ME first! CIARA asked me first how old I was! Did you stop for even a second to consider that maybe it was me who is the victim here, and she had no right to order me to redesign the dressup page that I invented!?!?

Just so you know I'M on Wikipedia, and I don't care if your husband's a cop! If he arrests me I'll just get more famous like Jim Morrison or Larry King!!! So you can threaten me all you like, I'm not about to bow to your daughter's every whim then run scared from her mommy who she snitched to!!!

You are BOTH banned from my dressup site for one month!
Sincerely NOT apologetic,

Click here to see the email Ciara sent me 10 years later!



Shane Byrne

I'm guessing from this that there's no need for me to even try to lure you away from Jesus, huh?

Perhaps your child is still undecided? Could you find out for me?



“hay bbe pleaz reply”

Subject: hi

hay bbe pleaz reply

Carol Noble

Okay, now what?


“one child is now got red leg”

please do not reply to any message from my email one child is now got red leg

Oh my god! What is "red leg??" Please tell me and I promise not to email you again!


She never emailed me back :(


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All opinions, writings, illustrations & designs are that of Normal Bob Smith (C) 2000 - 2012
Email bob@normalbobsmith.com. Received emails may be displayed publicly.



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