Hate Mail

Little Girls of America Unite against Me!

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Dear cookie-cutter Bob,

Hey, I loved the charade, bro! I've got to tell you, though, masquerading as an anti-christian is so second-hand, plagiaristic and humdrum. Sure, it's fun to kick the ant pile and watch the worker ants rebuild, but c'mon, dude, that's so P.T. Barnum. There really is a sucker born every minute -- and you're one of them! Ha ha ha ha

To make a living by ridiculing others' beliefs is the lowest form of creativity, and to line your pockets by acting controversial is taking a page from the Jerry Springer boilerplate. It's like reading last week's newspaper -- c'mon, you can do better than that, can't you?

But I must admit, I've never seen a dressed-up devil like yourself with male pattern baldness! Laughing out loud over here! That's pretty funny!!

Another funny thing is that even a phony, professed atheist like yourself has FAITH in a set of beliefs! Ha ha ha ha

Keep the FAITH, bro!!


Alan W.

Dear Alan W.
That's it! I've been completely exposed for what I've been tryin' to hide. Curse you, Alan! Curse you and your X-Ray Vision observations! The gig is up. Game over. The line-up outside my door of girls and gay men disburses, the party music turns to Taps, Jesus is Lord, and the only remaining original idea is our submission to Him.

I didn't think it was possible but apparently there are geniuses out there who see right through my flawless super-hero facade of perfection. Yharrrg! is the wail of this dove crying.

Thank you for the email. Send me a photo of yourself to post with your letter!

Secret PS. Your LOL sign-off killed half of my soul.

“I read some of your hate mail from Christians and before you say anything back to me, NO I will not sleep with you!”

I read some of your hate mail from Christians and before you say anything back to me, NO I will not sleep with you or come to your house and do anything sexually sinful with you. I am 14 and you would be a pervert if you wanted to do it with me anyway. Couldn't you have done something better with your time? Your such a talented artist and it just saddens me that you would have such contempt for HIM who gave you that talent. He must weep so much for you. I pray that your heart will change and you'll turn from your sin of mocking HIM BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. HELL is a hot place!

Andrea Short

You really got me all wrong! I used to be a Christian, but since then I've become an adult and have realized that religions are people pretending that gods exist and that eternal life is their destiny. That's why they pretend it- For the eternal life. It's all stories that people made up and've told to each other generation after generation, and that's the only reason they believe. There's no evidence or proof, or even good logic that holds the stories together.

Also, I don't ask girls on the internet to have sex with me. If you read a letter where I did I'm sure I was only joking around because the person was being so rude to me or something. You see, if people email me and tell me off or yell at me saying "YOU'RE GOING TO HELLLLLLLLLLL!!!!" I don't let their letters get to me. Instead I just joke around back to them like that. There really isn't much else you can say to someone who's screaming at you so I decided to at least have a little laugh about it and ask them for kisses or whatever. It's me tryin' to be funny!

Anyhow, your email to me seemed to be really really, angry and I don't know what you expected me to say, but all I can say is I hope you change your views about people who don't believe the same things you believe. There are lots of people out there with different beliefs from yours, and you thinking they're all going to burn in hell forever is really ugly. It's sad to me that you've been taught to think that way. I hope you'll rethink that, because it's kinda mean and no one will want to be your friend if you think that about them.

Thanks for your email though.

“I didn't tell you YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!!!! Only God knows where you are going.”

Dear Mr. Smith,

It's all not just stories. Jesus is REAL and I know because I have a REAL relationship with him. I didn't tell you YOU ARE GOING TO HELL!!!! Only God knows where you are going. I'm just warning you because HELL is where you are going to end up if you don't let Jesus into your life.

Just so you know, I have LOTS of friends from my youth group and they don't think I'm mean.

BTW: That story about when you smelled that girls butt when you were doing it was DISGUSTING!!! Why did you say that???? You REALLY need Jesus in your life!!!!!!

Andrea Short

Ummm, yeah. That was kinda a gross story. Heh heh. I actually didn't mean for you and your friends to read that one. *blushes* And it was sorta an isolated incident that really only happened once and when I wrote it out to that kid I was a little drunk and tryin' to impress a girl and not really thinking things through very clearly. Yeah. Just that one time. The rest of the stuff I write is to teach people lessons and exercise my freedom-rights and junk.

Hey wait, Andrea! You can't say that you know I'm going to hell if I don't have Jesus in my life. Only God knows if I am going to hell or not. Right? I mean, that's what you just said. Only God knows, and you don't. Correct?



No. Don't say that! I didn't say you are going to Hell. I'm just warning you because if you don't have Jesus in your heart, YOU ARE GOING TO GO TO HELL WHEN YOU DIE. That's what I meant. Maybe you will accept Jesus into your heart before you die. Maybe you won't. I don't know. Only GOD knows the future. You better accept HIM BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!

YES, it was a gross story. If you don't want me or my friends to see it, why did you put it there? It made me SICK. Did it impress the girl? I don't think she was a very nice girl if it did.

Andrea Short

Well no, she wasn't all that impressed. She had kinda the same reaction that you had. But my mom has some emotional issues and I forget she's not impressed by those kind of stories anyhow. She's a nice lady.

You see, there again you're yelling at me that I'm going to hell when I die, but you don't know that. Only God knows whether or not I'm going to hell. Why do you keep saying that no one knows if I'm going to hell except God, but you know that I'm going to hell if I don't ask Jesus into my heart. If that's not you saying you know stuff only God's supposed to know then I don't know what is. It's really kinda confusing. Sorry, but that's how I feel, even if you don't like my gross poopy story.


“Having an email correspondence with YOU is like emailing to a TOILET!!”

I didn't ask you ANYTHING about your mom!!!! JEESH!!! Having an email correspondence with YOU is like emailing to a TOILET!! Everything is about POOP! You really starting to make me SICK and nervous to open my emails because I might PUKE!! YOUR A JERK!!! Have fun in HELL!!!!

Andrea Short

Well put.



“many of my friends have heard about this site and many of which are christians who are to upset to contact you.”

Dear sir "bob"
This website is dissgraceful. this man is a histroic figure to christians as muhammed is to muslims. i think you are sick. many of my friends have heard about this site and many of which are christians who are to upset to contact you. another of freinds has contacted you but you have posted her on a hate mail site everyone is allowed to have an opinion.is there any need to set up a hate mail site because sombody is against youre site as matter of fact many people are against you and are Appalled at what kind of clothes you are dressing this man in.
yours angrily
Rebecca Howells


Beki, I'm a little confused. Why is it that you and your friends keep coming back to my site if it makes you wanna blow your stack? I mean, quite frankly you sound like one of those angry preachers who screams and shouts about how much he hates prostitution and pornography, then a couple weeks later ya come to find out he's with a new hooker every weekend and up to his ears in dirty gay-boy magazines!

Rebecca, are you one of those people who says they hate something and everyone who likes it is going to hell, then when we're not lookin' you turn around and dress up Jesus like it's your own little amusement park on the web? Is that why you keep coming back to it with all your friends and writing me every time you get so "appalled and disgusted?"

You Sneaky-Pete! You got some explainin' to do!


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All opinions, writings, illustrations & designs are that of Normal Bob Smith (C) 2000 - 2012
Email bob@normalbobsmith.com. Received emails may be displayed publicly.



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