*Sigh* Okay Sonia, I'll come clean.
First off, if I'm correct you never answered my final question regarding how exactly I was harming you (interrupting your ability to believe, causing deteriorating health, exploding children on your block, etc), so when I finally got an email from you months later asking how I was doing, I figured I'd answer your question as thoroughly as you answered mine. In short, that email I sent saying "I was starting to believe in God but didn't think you'd be interested in that news" was me being horrifyingly sarcastic. When I got your email about how the god of the universe probably doesn't like to be laughed at and when He's surfing the web He (The All Knowing Creator of every Galaxy in the Universe) doesn't like my site I couldn't hold it back.
For some reason I thought that by switching gears and make-believing I was closeting my flip-flopping would satisfy you enough so you could sleep at night despite it all remaining on the net. I was hoping that perhaps now when you'd come to my site to torment yourself you'd get some satisfaction in the notion that inside I'm torn apart by my conflicting lifestyle and you could resume your life as you once did, before you knew of JesusDressup.com and the related sites..
Now, after reading back over what I sent you I'm realizing I didn't put enough emphasis on the sarcastic bits. I've come to understand that it's much harder to make sarcasm work with believers because the outlandish statements that'd give it away to regular people aren't outlandish statements at all to believers. Where I've said things like "The apocalypse will be a good thing!" or "Did you know there were once really giants?!?" or "Perhaps kangaroos got to Australia from Noah's ark by being carried by large birds" and I forget that a religious person really believes these things, thus the joke is completely lost making me look like the ass. And it's happened again with you.
Sonia, you've no idea how utterly convinced I am that the reason people believe in all the different gods they do around the whole world is because it comforts them. You yourself said "nothing matters except what you feel!" and I'm sad to say this is what many people base "truth" on; our screwy, wavering feelings. "It's true because I feel it in my heart!"
"Angels are real because I feel it in my heart!"
"Paradise waits for me after I die because I can feel it in my heart!"
"All the mistakes I'm ashamed of can be eliminated from the record books by putting them into a sheep and slaughtering it on an alter, or as of more recently, putting them on the child of a supreme being and slaughtering him, because I FEEL it in my heart to be so!"
It's bullshit, Sonia. My feelings on the matter have not wavered for the last 8 years. I have no guilt, distress or hesitation what-so-ever for mocking the gods people made-up and try to sell to each other.
I hope you understand.