Hate Mail

More Hate Mail
& there's still a drawing contest happening that you need to be working on!
Seriously. I don't have enough entries, and the deadline is the 10th, so send in your Jesus drawings! See left sidebar here for details.

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Latest Updates

keith's gfriend

Hi,
I'm apparently the crazy jesus-freak that Keith T. has no idea what to do with [Click here for original email]. For starters, let me defend myself by saying, no. i am not a fucking jesus freak. and yes, i do have questions... questions i know will probably go unanswered forever. i question my beliefs every goddamn day, and you know what? i'm cool with that, i think as long as what i feel like and what i've gone through in my life is justice enough for what i believe, then that's fine with me.

i think it's sad that my sorry ass boyfriend is subjected to "faking beliefs" just so he can continue to have amazing sex with me [and believe me, i'm fucking amazing!]. i don't think he's going to hell, because he doesn't think he's going to hell. and frankly i could give a fuck less whether or not he goes to hell. the reason i cry when we get into those conversations is because i literally have panic attacks when i think of my life as i know it ending so abruptly. it's a scary fucking thought! but i'm sure he didn't tell you that because he's too busy trying to make himself out as the lone victim atheist in all of fucking texas. well, i'm going to make his job a lot easier on him. how about you give him advice on how to get back to fucking colorado without this sad, little christian girl with her "irrational beliefs" on an evil god that "hates all our love". did i get it right?!

thanks ever so much.
-Kat

me

Oh snap!

Bob

“I thought this would be good for the kids but...”

Subject: ????

I thought this would be good for the kids but why would you want to dress Jesus up like cartoon characters or women? This is just wrong

Donna Salyers
rollinghills@earthlink.net

I'm sorry but I haven't run into this complaint before. Other children have enjoyed playing the dressup game. I've even received photos of kids having fun with it. Here, take a look: http://www.normalbobsmith.com/fanmail20.html

So I'm not understanding where you're coming from. Is there a reason you think it's wrong?
Bob

“I was always taught and teach my children that Jesus died on the cross for our sins not to be a dress up doll”

I was always taught and teach my children that Jesus died on the cross for our sins not to be a dress up doll while hanging on the cross

Donna Salyers
rollinghills@earthlink.net

Well, perhaps you were mistaken. We humans do make mistakes, and it's not like you accidentally chopped her toes off in the lawnmower. You can just tell her you made a mistake, explain to her how there's no such thing as human gods, blood-payment for bad deeds, or magic wizards of any sort so as not to start her off with a distorted understanding of the world around her.

I'm sure she'll understand your error and be quite pleased that there's no Hell for people of other beliefs to be disgarded in, and she'll not have to mourn eternally for they're heartbreaking cries of sorrow from the fiery abiss.

Thanks for taking the time to understand.
Bob

 

“Jesus dress up.! GOSH!!!!”

Subject: SICK!!!

seriously . u make me sick! Jesus dress up.! GOSH!!!!
U SUCK!

Jess Ben
bennettje@hotmail.com

JUST IN CASE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW, YOUR LETTER ISN'T
VERY NICE!!!

Bob

“I am a very strong christian!”

bahhhaaa!!! you think i didnt know that. I am a very strong christian! that game just mocks Jesus!! It makes me sick.! no wait... U MAKE ME SICK!!!

Jess Ben
bennettje@hotmail.com

Okay, you really went and did it now! THAT LAST EMAIL WAS EXTREMELY
NOT NICE!!!!! I'M SORRY, BUT NOW YOU MADE ME REALLY MAD AND I'M
MAD AT YOU NOW TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob

“wat r u like 7!!???”

bahahaaaa.. wat r u like 7!!???

SICKO!!!!!!!!!!

Jess Ben
bennettje@hotmail.com

Yes. I am a 7 year old. A 7 year old who makes internet games on the web, flips through the stacks of hate mail it inspires, and sends back silly retorts so as to have content for the comedy website he's been building for the last 7 years. That's it exactly it. Thank you, Jess.

Bob

“This is coming from a christian and i am tired of people making fun of Jesus...”

listen i dont know who you think you are but this is not right!
Jesus died on the cross to save us not to be dressed up and made fun of. This is coming from a christian and i am tired of people making fun of Jesus it is not right. I think you need to straighten your mind out by actually going to church or read the Bible. Ever heard of it?? You dont love Jesus

J. Roberts
morgancross@netscape.ca

All right, J, I have to admit that I hadn't heard of The Bible until you mentioned it just now. So I took your advice and went to church and read this "Bible" of yours, and it was quite a shocker! I opened it up and flipped through a couple pages to page 1111 (sounded like a fun number!). So that was like Ezekiel 9:5 something, I dunno. But it was the part where God orders his followers to kill the men, women and children without mercy! It was crazy! I was thinkin' Jeesh, this Roberts person reads some crazy stuff!

So I took a handful of pages and turned them to a section called Isaiah. And it was nice reading up until I got to 13:15 and God tells these armies to have no mercy on the helpless babies or children and to shoot them down with arrows! And I was like, "Holy crap! People believe this??!?!" I have to tell you J, I am dumbfounded by this Bible of yours!

Then in a panic I whipped through a couple dozen pages so as to shield my eyes from all of this baby-killing you folks are told to do and I'm at like, Colossians 3 something, 22nd verse of whatever and God's giving orders to slave owners on how to treat their slaves! Your God really permits slavery?!?! How do you believe this stuff, J? Seriously!

I quickly flipped a couple more pages, kinda getting depressed with all this stuff and was at Judges 9:42 where God had armies burn about a thousand men and women, dowsing them in fire, and that made me have to go to my toilet and throw up. I puked for like 15 minutes until nothing was coming out. "Dry-heaving" is what they call it. Right? Throwing up and nothing comes out? Yeah, so that's what I was doing in the toilet after reading your bible book thingy. Dry-heaving.

Anyhow, I'm really not that impressed. Did you mean for me to be? Is that the right book you meant for me to read? Did you mean to suggest something else and accidentally said The Bible? Because I can't believe that that's what you meant me to read, unless you're really really really twisted and evil.

Lemme know.
Bob

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