Hate Mail

Remember how funny hate mail is?
Well, here's a whole bunch of that...

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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carlos
Include no picture?
No problem!

Subject: Hi there, Bob!

I have seen the Jesus Drees Up quite a while ago and at the time I have thought it to be too mild by my standards, as I feel I have every right in this world to loath christianism. Very recently I came across normalbobsmith.com and I was like "Wow! The guy that made the game sure have got some style!" (excuse my english here. You see, I'm brazilian and I can't really say I ever learned any english decently). Then the surprises started to happen. "Wow, he even made a board game!", "Shit! He's got to know fucking Captain Sensible! I don't believe it!" (sorry for not mentioning John Waters, haven't taken my time to get to know Pink Floyd yet). Then... last night I sow Pray For Satan's Salvation and went to read it........ My God!!!! It's fucking genius! Nothing short of genius I tell ya. Not because of the awesome design but man, do that chars have personality. It's impossible not to relate to a number of situations going on there. I know art when I see art and I can tell that PFSS impressed me a bunch.

I wish you even more success and achievements because you surely have the talent to back them up.

PS: You should write more on your love diary. Despite the fact that it won't make women any more "scoreable", I'm sure it must some kind of addicting reading to them. =)
Peace,

Meu Nome é Carlos

“SHAME ON YOU SIRS AND MADAMS SHAME ON YOU Now if you close this game down i shall never speak of the matter again”

Dear Jesus dress up team
i am completely outraged with this dress up game this is an insult to my and others religion. Jesus Christ was a great man. He was a miracle worker. And you post a game where you can dress Jesus Christ Our lord in a devil outfit.

Now you maybe a devil but Jesus Christ certainly was not. He is one who forgives sins. He died for us the children of God Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve. Now if you had died on a cross i would not go and make a game where you could dress you up in a devil outfit.
Now i could write 2-3 pages on Jesus and his life and ALL the miracles he has done. But i'm not going too. shame on you.

you may not believe in god but others and i do. You should be ashamed of yourself. And the signs are inappropriate NO PAIN NO GAIN SHAME ON YOU SIRS AND MADAMS SHAME ON YOU Now if you close this game down i shall never speak of the matter again
yours truly

Megan Macleod
singing_all_the_way@xxx.com

PS ~8 years you have had this game online and you never though once about what you doing turning little children to believe that making fun of Jesus Christ by dressing him up is OK i'm disappointed at the whole company

Dear Miss Megan Macleod
On February 4th, 2008 your letter of complaint was received in our HR Dept at Jesus Dressup Enterprises, ........and all hell broke loose.

On the afternoon of Monday the 4th, '08 your email was opened by the Assistant Directing Coordinator, Michelle Greenwood, who, after reading it over twice with great concern, passed it on the Head of Coordinating Directors in the "Satan Outfit" Wing of our Jesus Dressup Building located in Midtown Manhattan, Geoffrey Filmore Hornsdale III. That's when everything hit the fan.

The first string of layoffs occurred within 40 seconds upon Mr. Hornsdale's completion of the final sentence in your post script. 230 staff members were sent home with their pink slips, and then layoffs spread from the New York City Corporate Offices of JesusDressup.com across the East Coast then through to our West Coast locations (including the Jesus Christ Superstar Dressup Mansion in Hollywood CA), leaving the total 2308 empty offices & cubicals by the end of the day Monday.

It wasn't until Tuesday morning, the 5th of February that key big wig corner offices began to feel the sting of "singing_all_the_way@xxx.com." Four executives from the "Sun Bonnets & other Women's Garments for Jesus" division were taken away in handcuffs, charged with Indecent Anti-biblical Propaganda with intent to commit Lewd & Offensive Sacrilege. They were sentenced to 24 to 36 years at Rikers.

By the end of the first week in Feb. '08 Jesus Dressup stocks had plummeted leaving 3,300 primary investors to abandon the project, and the "Jesus Dressup Misc. Holidays Division" which was most recently outsourced to New Delhi/Bombay had to be shut down leaving thousands of Indians (in both India and Indiana branches) without basic healthcare.

So, thanks to you, now it's just me running the show here.
I ask that next time you have a complaint you address it directly to me, AND ONLY ME!

Thanks.
Bob

“i am so very sorry for what i have done”

dear bob
i am so very sorry for what i have done
i didn't mean to make so much trouble for you
i do hope you are ok
i feel so bad
i am ever so sorry
i just didn't like what i saw and didn't mean to put you in big trouble
i only wanted it to be put right
i may have got the wrong end of the stick and i'm sorry if i have
i do hope nothing really horrible has been done
i just felt that it wasn't right dressing up jesus like that
sorry once again

Megan Macleod
singing_all_the_way@xxx.com

Nah, that's all right. It was starting to feel all "corpority" here anyhow.

Now I got the whole place to myself and I can work in my underpants if I wanna!

Bob

 

“wut the hell”

dress up jesus thats inapropriate wut the hell

Kurt Barekman
barekman666@gmail.com

I'm not exactly sure what it is you're trying to discuss with me. Would you mind using a clearer version of the English language?

Bob

“Jesus was inappropriate”

i just thought dress up Jesus was inappropriate

Kurt Barekman
barekman666@gmail.com

wha da fug? you dun no wha I do so fug yo!!!!

Bob

 

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Email bob@normalbobsmith.com. Received emails may be displayed publicly.

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