Hate Mail

To really be a true believer you must make some
Necessary adjustments to your logic.

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Subject: Not really fanmail...

Although I am indeed a fan. I just wondered if you had noticed how christians seem to be making an embarrassing attempt at changing philosophy and politics via the entertainment industry. At first I thought it was just the anti-abortion cretins with the sappy (and stupid) movies Knocked Up and Juno. Then came the demonstrators at Horton Hears a Who. And I just heard about the Ben Stein-endorsed sham Expelled. From what I gather this movie is trying to imply that those who believe in darwinism are viciously persecuting the poor followers of intelligent-design theory.

Of course this is all following the all-arousing (oops inspiring) snuff film Passion of the Christ. Just wanted to hear your thoughts on the matter. (Oh yes, and the picture is one of me about to take a bite out of....um, I dunno. You think of something fun to eat.)

Amy Floyd


Hey Amy!
I have to admit that I wouldn't have ever suspected Juno or Knocked Up to be anti-abortion propaganda. I try to resist the urge to jump on the conspiracy theories. I haven't seen Knocked Up, but I have to admit I liked Juno. That girl still scares the hell out of me since Hard Candy, but I thought it was charming seeing another angle on the topic. Abortion, although necessary, should still be seen as a last resort.

But I do of course share your sentiments on Expelled! It to me is the next closest thing to The Passion since, well... The Passion, but I'm much happier to see this one. I've said from the beginning, "Bring on your evidence! That's all we're asking! Bring it to the table and let's all have an objective look!" And here it is. This'll be the best they can do and I want everyone to go into film with extremely high expectations for the amount of evidence you're gonna bear witness to, because that's all that matters. Science does listen to evidence, so go holding your breath!

That said, I do plan to attend the premier of Expelled here in NYC on the 18th also with my breath held.

You look menacingly sexy when you're biting.


Subject: Missionary for Bob.

Glad to see NoBS Radio back on, Bob. It sounds much better this time around. I enjoyed the first nine episodes, but hopefully you can forgive me for saying that they sounded like they were recorded on that old Phillips cassette recorder from the 70s that my mom used to record us kids on when we were little. Lo-Fi works for a few underground indie acts (for an album or two), but your show needs to be heard clearly. It reminds me of that Non-Prophets program that those guys in Austin do, if you're familiar.

So anyway, just had to write you to let you know. Because I've noticed a bit of Mormon mission activity around the neighborhood lately, and also because I've acquired an unusually high number of Watchtowers recently, I've decided to arm myself with certain weaponry. I've been meaning to keep some of these weapons on hand for a while now (concealed of course - in my wallet), and since spring is just around the corner, I figure that this is as good an opportunity as any! And it's some good promotion on Canada's east coast for you. I'm going to be handing them to and fro, and around here and there. Buses, I find, work well, but there I shall leave them discretely, so as to not rile the riff-raff on public transit. So, don't be surprised if you receive a few responses from the citizenry of Halifax, Nova Scotia.

Take it easy, eh.

“wouldnt the earth be destroyed or something by now without God protecting us ( nuclear wars )”

Subject: GOD

well if you look around there is a lot of proof of God! if there was no God wouldnt everything be totally caiotic? wouldnt the earth be destroyed or something by now without God protecting us ( nuclear wars )


if there is no God then why is everthing organized like the universe and well everthing from dna to tree leaves even the most athiest scientist can tell u that the universe and everything in it is perfectly organized and in alot of cases in bizzar unexplainable ways. people say we came from the big bang ( atom spliting, causing an explosion) well where did that atom come from ?

20 yrs old, Canada

Wow! Those are huge questions! You'll have to excuse the length of the answers.

Chantelle, the problem is that scientists will not tell you that everything is perfectly organized. There is much chaos out there that explodes from volcanos, destroys entire villages, floods that drown cities, earthquakes, fires and all sorts of other things that have no regard for our well being. Tell the people who get swallowed up in the earth in these manners how orderly and well organized everything is. There's an illusion going on that everything's orderly because you're safe at home in front of your computer with a comfy place to sleep, enough food to eat, and a world of technology at your fingertips. For that you can thank science, not God. 500 years ago when things were even more chaotic with sickness, starvation, slave-trade, human brutality, and an abundance of ignorance there was no one gasping in amazement at how organized and safe the world is.

Now, in regards to the organized universe, are you so impressed because every planet we've come across is suited perfectly for sustaining life and this shows God must clearly exist otherwise there'd be no other explanation why there are so many other planets so rich with His flourishing love and goodness? Of course that's not the case at all. Lifelessness, so far, is all else there seems to be out there in the universe. There appears to be millions and millions of other places where no such loving protection exists. With the exception of our little planet it's as if life wasn't even granted the privilege to vote a unanimous "nay" on the idea of a loving Supreme Being before it choked to death.

We seem to fit in squarely with the odds of how likely we are to exist on a one in a million planet. A planet that's been staying the course of rotation around a star for billions of years in a pattern that can sustain life. In fact, right now it looks as if life can only happen on a planet that's our particular distance from the type of sun we've got, at our specific access that we're tilted on to allow for friendly enough climates that permit the necessary environment where life can begin and evolve. So when this particular occasion happens in the universe life is presumed to almost be inevitable.

As for asking "where did that atom come from?" That question seems almost too easy when compared to the question: "Where did your immeasurably more complicated, galaxy-making, atom-constructing-from-nothing, all loving, sorcerer come from?"


“God does not give us direct proof because...”

Subject: GOD

God does not give us direct proof because he wants us to choose him, have faith without it.



Chantelle, from now on you shouldn't be the least bit surprised when you happen across non believers. You said it yourself- There's no proof. You just made every single god ever invented by man just as real as yours because there's no proof to support them either. You should be impressed by each of them equally now.

Thank you for the interesting Myspace correspondence!

"That which can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence." -Christopher Hitchens

“until that evidence is refuted, the faith we have is not baseless by any stretch of the imagination.”

That you and people who think as you do, consider it baseless. The rest of us understand that some things have more evidence than others, and until that evidence is refuted, the faith we have is not baseless by any stretch of the imagination.



So what you're saying is that there is no evidence because God wants us to choose Him, so until that evidence is refuted it's not baseless by any stretch of the imagination?

I just want to make sure I understand.


“THE LORD uses the lowest of the low like you to save others.”

Hey bob GOD bless.I just wanted to let you know THE LORD uses the lowest of the low like you to save others.You never know he could soften your heart and all your fans will have no choice but to believe in HIM.After all its his world he created everything he can do anything.If you decide not to post this I will know why.

xoxo Sandra

It is His world and He did create everything and He can do anything, so apparently He not only approves of me and what I do but He Himself invented it all: the site, Jesus Dressup, the comics, art and everything that you're saying was made by the lowest lifeform... which is Him! At least according to you.




Subject: WTF

You must live off of hate mail.

Design simplicity eliminates engineering complexity.

Chris Newgent

What's the point you're trying to make?


“I found your site to be more than a little offensive and thought about ripping you a new one....”

Sorry my signature kind of bled into the message and clouded things up a bit.

I was just trying to say that you must receive your share of hate mail - AND - that in some small way you have asked for it. I am sure that you get a little more than you bargained for.

I'll admit that I found your site to be more than a little offensive and thought about ripping you a new one.... But I am sure that that has been done at least once before. I tried for wit instead and failed.

I am just grateful that you did this to Jesus and not Mohammad. Christians just bitch a lot. Ahh, yeah
God Bless and good luck with those refrigerator magnets.
I'd hide the big CONTACT ME button.

Chris Newgent

Ahhhh, you were right the first time. I live off of the hate mail. Adversaries keep the blood pumping and the mind inspired! I actually have NOT gotten more than I bargained for. I understood right from the beginning that what I was doing would open the floodgates on dogma driven complaint letters, and I adore responding to as many as I can fit in a day then posting them on my site to amuse others.

I am unbelievably entertained (more than most I know) by the flexing, letter-writing barbarian character "ripping people a new one" in an email complaint letter on the internet (those last 8 words should be said in a nerdy voice). Oh the harm they must think they're inflicting!! It's so impressive.

“You are taking your life in your hands with the Mohammad site.”

Thank you for being equal opportunity. You are taking your life in your hands with the Mohammad site. It has been a perverse pleasure chatting with you but I think that that is what you had in mind.

I still wish you wouldn't dis on Jesus, or Muhammad for that matter, but at this point it's pretty obvious that we must agree to disagree.

God Speed Man
Chris Newgent

I have to tell you I get very annoyed with people who perpetuate the fear of Muslim retribution for Muhammad blasphemy. It's definitely a tool's paradise.



“Jesus saved your life. And you still continue to mess around with His heart?”

God is no one to be messing with. This is ridiculous.. He saved your life. And you still continue to mess around with His heart? Please pray your heart will become better. God bless you!

Kari Peck

Which god are you speaking of? Allah, Zeus, Ra, Rael, Thor, Marshal Applewhite, Buddha, Ganesh, David Koresh, Satan, the Dali Lama, or I think there's a couple thousand others you could be referring to. Just curious to know for sure before I waste my time throwing out the excuses for the wrong one.

Thanks for the email!

“I do apologize, I will speak to my kids and see if they sent this out.”

I am sorry I do not know who has sent this email to you. I have not sent this message about God to you.
I do apologize, I will speak to my kids and see if they sent this out.

Kari Peck

Hey, no bother. They're just kids. I understand.

It's crazy how they'll believe anything they hear on the schoolyard about how there's gods we can pray to who live in our hearts.

Don't be too hard on the li'l dickens.


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All opinions, writings, illustrations & designs are that of Normal Bob Smith (C) 2000 - 2012
Email bob@normalbobsmith.com. Received emails may be displayed publicly.



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