Hate Mail

The 11th Grade Atheist files
What's this world coming to?

His letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Subject: Fan Letter

You and I had a pleasant email exchange about 3 years ago, after my then 36 year old son committed suicide and I wrote to tell you that I appreciate what you do and that my son's passing had eradicated my last tiny shred of hope that there was some sort of life after death. How did this occur? No ghost! No feeling that he was "reaching out" to me from anywhere -- and he, of all the people who have ever lived, should have been able to pull this off as he was the ultimate horror book and film afficionado (I don't think I spelled that right). I pictured him arriving at my bedside at night and having a chat with me with the head wound visible -- like Griffin Dunne did to David Naughton in the original American Werewolf of London. If HE (my late son, not David Naughton) can't speak out from "beyond the grave" then there is absolutely positively no such place. That's the one benefit that came out of the whole experience -- I'm glad to be rid of that last tiny shred of bullshit hope, hanging there like a deflated, too small life preserver that you know won't really stop you from drowning.

I don't do like you and argue or mock Christians any more unless they try to talk at me with conversion in mind, and few do these days. Having been through several deaths in my wife's Philippine family (and Filipinos handle grief and loss extremely well -- they cry then they move on), I can see the comfort their beliefs give them and wouldn't want to deprive them of their security blankets, having nothing better to offer in replacement than "get tough enough to take the cold." The older you get, the more difficult that becomes -- you'll see surprisingly soon.

But I'm glad you're doing it. When I was younger I was an active antireligionist (my lifelong hero is George Carlin, now also dead). At one time I was actually offered money by Hollywood Boulevard shops to continue mocking, debating, and harassing the Jesus Freaks who then were swamping the place and displacing the perfectly fine stoned out hippies who were there before them.

Now, thanks to my son's precipitous act, I have achieved a state of being that I'm utterly comfortable with, as the one totally absolutely nonspiritual person on the planet (possibly excluding the late George Carlin, Bill Maher, Gore Vidal, and you). When people ask me if I believe in God or the afterlife, I now tell them that I don't know and don't care. Everyday reality gives me quite enough to cope with. I leave "realms beyond" to theologens and science fiction writers. I'm much more worried about what's going to happen at work tomorrow than I am what will happen after I die.

But just because I experience no emotions when I contemplate God or the baby Jesus or the cosmos (or see the flag or hear the national anthem, for that matter), and don't see the law of karma actually working out all that often (too many assholes have had wonderful richly rewarded lives), this doesn't mean those emotions aren't genuine to the people who do experience them, and in my old age I have become much too much of a softy to make fun of them for it -- so long as they don't preach at me and try to convert me. If they do that I take them on and mentally demolish them (I've driven a few to tears, but not in years),

So forgive all this blather; I'm full of prescription TLC tonight and am in a rare net-chatty mood.

I don't come back and read your hate male often enough. I'm too jealous of your having the site and that many emailers to engage with. I could do that and would love to do that if I could figure out how to get people to write mad mail at me.

But what I really wrote to say is that your lengthy answer to Zachary Smith on page 397 of your wonderful hate mail is the best piece of writing and social commentary, the most spot-on analysis, that I have yet to see from you, and I wish it could be more widely read. You're the only one who has nailed the current communication device zeitgeist. If I can get back into doing videos and posting them on You Tube (I went through a phase of doing that as what I now know to have been grief therapy -- gave me something to do while I came to terms with the fact that my son was dead and gone -- they're there under "creatividude" -- still live on line though no one has looked at them in a long time, and nothing ever went even slightly viral) -- if I get back into being creative I'll take that notion on. Younger Americans are being suckered into a world of purely vicarious living (most of them don't know what "vicarious" means) and if the power fails -- as it someday soon surely will -- they're going to be up a psychological shit creek that will hinder any chance of their thinking clearly enough to survive. The world will be drowned not in melting south pole ice but in a cacaphony of panicky people demanding immediate access to something gone and never to return, like the dead.

I hope, after crawling through the wreckage, that I see you in your devil drag laughing and pointing at the begging-God-for-mercy survivors on their knees with their arms upraised before a nonexistent Lord with no power whatsoever to help them.

Allen "Paranoid Pessimmist" Turner

You have my permission to post this letter and my email address on your site, but I won't be upset if you don't. Your call; on you.


“stop giving us atheists a bad name”

Subject: are you atheist or a satanist?

From what i have seen on your site you are a satanist
if you call yourself an atheist then you do not aknowledge the existense of God or Satan so therefore your website is a contradiction to your religion and/or itself

so stop giving us atheists a bad name

Zachary Smith

Atheists can't acknowledge the existence of the concept of God or Satan?

Zachary, stop trying to eat your way out of a pumpkin shell with your mouth stapled shut.


“you make absolutely no sense at all”

what are you talking about?
you make absolutely no sense at all

Zachary Smith

You're an atheist. Do you recognize that the concept of Jesus and God exists?

Christ, it's like talking to a 3rd grader.

“of course i dont fucking recognize the concept of two mythical beings that were put in a book that everyone worships Dumbass!”

ummm im an atheist
of course i dont fucking recognize the concept of two mythical beings that were put in a book that everyone worships
its like talking to a 40 year old virgin that is dressing up in his mothers basement and pretending to be atheist so he can feel special

Zachary Smith

Oh my god, you're a complete imbecile!

The stories exist, just like the story of the Three Bears exists, and the Star Wars movies exist, and the Harry Potter books & movies exist. I'm not saying they're factual or accurate historical accounts. I'm saying that the characters and their stories have been written down and people read them and the books exist in a library and on bookstore shelves. You agree with that, right? And the book The Bible also exists on a book store shelf and there are people who believe it's a true story. They believe that the characters God, Jesus and Satan are real. Can you wrap your mind around that?

Jesus fucking Christ! Your report card has a lot of D's and F's on it, huh?


“you cant win this argument
no matter what”

no im not a complete inbecile
im just a nefarious eleventh grader
that likes to argue for fun

you cant win this argument
no matter what

yes i agree that the bible exists
but i dont aknowledge it
to me its just another version of how life started

in the end we are all going to die

and somehow or another we are all going to some sort of hell
as told by many other religions

and yes my report card does have a lot of D's on it
only because i choose not to do my work

Zachary Smith

But Zach, you've already lost. You just told me that instead of facing the problem and doing something about it, you choose to pretend it doesn't have any affect on you or the world around you so therefore you'll do nothing about it, just like you do with your schoolwork.

You just failed ...again.

“how are you going to do something about something that does not exist?”

how are you going to do something about something that does not exist?
you cannot fix what is not there
so there for i have not lost

and i dont fail
i excell beyond your puny life style of pretending to be the devil and to be a true atheist
so why dont you go to your mommy and whine about your life that has become a failure

Zachary Smith

Um, you fix it by mocking the stupid idea and making fun of the people who believe it's truth.




thats not fixing it
thats just making fun of something you dont believe in
your a real asshole
i have friends that believe and it doesnt bother me
i dont mock them for their beliefs
i went to church tonight and sat there and watched everyone pray and sing
its not that bad
just because you have different beliefs doesnt mean its ok to mock ppl

Zachary Smith

Omg, are you crying?



no im not crying

Zachary Smith

Oh my god, you're crying! I'm so so sorry! I had no idea you were such a delicate little tulip.

Look, I totally apologize for everything. I didn't know you and everyone else couldn't take a little ball-busting and were gonna be such little girls about it.

I'm thinking from now on you probably shouldn't visit my site if it gets you this worked up into a fit. I'll tell you what. You go right on ahead and believe whatever you want and tell anyone who gives you a hard time about it I said it was okay. Anything you can dream up! Dancing pink unicorns with rainbow magic looking down on Earth from a cloud sending us their dreams of love. It's all right with me.

Poor poor little baby Zach.
Now you go let Jesus give you a BIG HUG because he loves you!
Run along.


your just stupid

wtf are you talking about
now i know why people dont like you
your just stupid
did you even finish high school?

Zachary Smith

You know what? I'm beginning to realize there's a gargantuan misunderstanding that's happening here between me and all you people out there in Internet Land. A misunderstand that's growing in numbers daily... No, yearly, as technology advances and our lives are "enhanced" by the growing number of communication tools we're all overusing at exceedingly alarming rates.

These last 10 years have introduced a world of Myspacers & Facebookers, chatters, texters, bloggers, emailers, IMers, iPhoners, Blackberriers and a hundred other devices that are substituting actual socializing in the real world.

I first started to notice this happening in the late 90s when chatting online was producing friendships which led to crushes that led to love and obsessions, then heartbreak and dejection, hatred, jealousy, rebounding, broken promises, and even serious relationships between two or more people who've never ever met each other in real life! No actual face to face meetings in person, and in many cases never even having heard the other's voice! Pseudo relationships that haven't really happened, yet are responsible for forming a behavior; a distorted life lesson; a false wisdom.

Now, this acting on its own would create one kind of social retard that alone in itself would seem absurd to most normal face-to-face socializing people. But there's a second aspect to this retardation of social skills. It's the addition of another technology which allows these same lab rats to avoid true experiences when they're actually in real life situations! These are the iPods, Wii's, PSP's, cells, and a world of other portible dvd/cd/mp3/etc players. So now when these people actually do step outside into fresh air and find themselves among the human race there's a barricade of headphones, cellphones, movies, games, music and whatever other voluntary blindfolds that keep real life at bay. I know because I've been out with these people. People who will sit across from you, or walk down the street next to you texting people somewhere else, or talking on the phone with friends who aren't around! Good friends who see nothing inappropriate about inviting you over then talking on the phone to someone else the whole time you're there!

I believe this has all gotten so out of hand that now there's people like you, Zachary, who take the internet, and whatever someone says to you in an email, or a picture you've seen of someone you've never met way way too seriously, and you let it effect your emotions. You can tell when it's gone too far when one of these subjects actually believes that make-believe yelling at someone over one of their social communication substitutes will have any sort of impact on a stranger. This imaginary drama that effects you so vividly Zach, you expect it to do the same to others.

Don't get me wrong, Zach. I'm not entirely blaming you for your retardedness. You've experienced first hand others whom you've never actually met, that you've only known through a computer monitor who were emotionally impacted in some way by your typed messages. It can only be expected that you'd assume there was actual meaning to these relationships, like the audience that ran screaming from the very first motion picture of a train racing towards them, or a cat hissing at a mirror. This pretend world is very real to you. This pretend drama can only be expected to effect you a great deal in return.

Unfortunately for you and the many others out there like you, if we haven't met, there's no chance I'm going to give a fuck about what you think, and this fact should not effect you emotionally in any way.


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