Hate Mail

Haters, Saboteurs,
and a Super Sacreligious Super Chic Contest to even the Score!
(See left sidebar for details)

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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So the other day I was scrolling over the "Catholic Answers" section of forums.catholic.com and I stumbled across a topic titled: "I wrote Jesus in Google search and now I am very upset" which led me type 'Jesus' into Google thus directing me to my site! So I continued to read the posts on this forum. The Catholics there seemed to be hinting at a boycotting of my website! But, what's shocking is, after reading through each post that followed a conspiracy started to grow and grow against my precious site. These people were devising a protest, scripting out a form letter, and preparing an all out attack on my little business! One of the campaign letters for distribution read:

Dear Sir or Madam,
I do not know if you are aware that a web designer by the name of "normal bob smith" links to you from his website jesusdressup.com I find his site offensive and unworthy of any support. Please understand that while I have nothing against you, your company or your website, I will be boycotting it and informing friends, coworkers and fellow church members of your association with "normal bob smith". Furthermore I will conduct periodic web searches to find sites linked to yours and inform them of your association with "normal bob smith"
Sincerely...

So about the same time I was reading all of this, I was simultaneously chatting online with several different lovely girls, many of whom are Super Chics, but ALL of whom coincidentally share an, unbelievably rare & precious, magical gift from God above!


Super Chic Christy Christ

Super Chic
Karly

So, upon discovering these religious people who were out to ruin me, and these Super Chics with the weapons of revenge at the ready, I got SUPER INSPIRED and schemed a plot to hammer back. Hammer back BIG!

THAT'S RIGHT!! It's the Super Chic inspired "THUPER THICK" Contest, and the superness of your mouth muscle is being challenged!
Is it THICK enough, lllonnnggg enough, EVIL enough to lick those blasted blessed bastards?!?

(Super Chic to be) Laney

This Super Chic inspired competition is for girls only. Contestants will be judged on tongue length, girth, and the level of blasphemy it's willing to commit, be it wrapped around a crucifix, tangling a rosery into anirreversible knot, or tearing out the pages of the bible itself! Wear a halo or horns, it doesnt matter, because this time it's YOUR TONGUE doing the talking!
...uh, hmmmmnn...anyhow...

All entries will be considered for the upcoming THUPER THICKS section of the site, and the WINNER will be the top THUPER THICK, and receive the award ranking her #1 THUPER THICK, and declared the wielder of the greatest, most blasphemous tongue of this or any religion!

* * * * * *

EMAIL ALL ENTRIES TO BOB@NORMALBOB.COM
GIRLS ONLY.
NO PHOTOSHOPPING - YOU'LL RUIN IT!

“... it still seems disrespectful...”

Subject: your website

Hi, I came across your website, and I'm not sure what your intention is behind it, I hope it is not to mock Christ. However, even if it's not, it still seems disrespectful and personally I was offended by it. Even if you don't believe in Christianity, it is still mocking our religion and Our Lord who died a painful death for us on the Cross. Again, I don't know why you made that website, but could you reconsider it. Just wanted to let you know.

Monica C
marysdaughter12@yahoo.com

Sorry if there was a misunderstanding. I honestly didn't mean for Christians to play with the game. I just meant it for regular people to visit and enjoy. I think it's possible for your church to block the site so this doesn't happen again. Check with your leader, the one whose teachings of Christ you believe. He can easily restrict access to the world for you so this doesn't happen again. That way people who believe normal things can still come have fun with it.

Thanks for the email. If you have any funny stories about what you believe, the miracles from Bible Times you think are true stories, or thoughts about when/if dinosaurs existed I'd love to hear them.
It was really great talking to you.
Bob

 

“I have a very strong comment on your idea and web page of Dress up Jesus.”

Subject: dress up Jesus??? Jesus is a name to honour

Dear Brother,
May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with you .

I have a very strong comment on your idea and web page of Dress up Jesus.

Brother do you know what Jesus did for you and me on the cross. He took all our sins ,shame ,pain , curses and he gave us everlasting life .Every one who puts their trust in him are saved.

How can you dishonor our Lord by such a disgraceful game you have made .

Do you know that it is not correct to make fun of such a holy name as his,

Jesus is the very name that saves.

For a matter of fact he has clothed us with his love and grace and covered our nakedness and wickedness of heart and he still loves us .

Please correct this site and delete this shameful game ..

Warm Regards

Pranali
pranaliam@yahoo.co.in

A scape goat? You want me to praise the scape goat of all your bad deeds? The character you imagine exists which you think you can funnel every unbecoming act you're responsible for, you want me to pat you on the head for believing it's true and respect your decision to buy into it?

Brother, you've bought into a very illogical and psychologically unhealthy concept, and you did it for the most unoriginal reason there is. You did it for a selfish reason.

You see, the rest of us on planet earth, the normal ones who know scape goats are bad things, understand you can't push the things you're ashamed of onto someone else and free yourself of responsibility. If you did it you're stuck with it which includes the bad feeling it gives you each time you think of having done it, and it is that which keeps you from doing it again. Relieving yourself of that guilt and responsibility by thinking someone else can absorb the sin doesn't teach you a lesson at all. It teaches you all you have to do is ask forgiveness afterwords from this imaginary character, problem solved. And the problem isn't solved.
In no way what so ever will I praise your idea. I will disgrace it.

Please delete your shameful belief.
Thank you for the email! Sometimes it's the stupidest questions that're the funnest to answer. Know what I'm saying?
Bob

 

your Jesus Dressup is Blasphmous

Subject: this is Blasphmous your Jesus dressup

your Jesus Dressup is Blasphmous I have seen your accessorties you have on your sad site your know that he died for you on the cross, the cross he carried to the top of the hill to died for your sins, Jesus has love for you and and you do this to him? I, like Jesus have no hate toward you but curiosity of why would you go to this Extreme to make fun of him when all he want,s to do is love and forgive you of your sins and give you your hearts desire and supply all your needs and answer your prayers and ginve you free will to choose to follow him or not .

William Baker
bbaker364@yahoo.com

You really can't die on a cross for someone, especially when you do it without permission from who you're doing it for. Because then suddenly that person owes everything in the world to the person and all their last wishes for life? If I jump in front of a bus and leave a note saying I did it for you, William Baker, do I entrap you into my will for the rest of your life?

That sounds fair to you? Or logical? Or sane?

I have a diaper here with your name on it.
Bob

 

“Why dont u make a website dressing up muhammed? Or are you scared of the death threats you might get.”

Is this web site ment to be funny? Why dont u make a website dressing up muhammed, ....... Or are you scared of the death threats you might get.... Instead of teasing, whom was god in flesh, I would suggest you pick up a bible and read it, cause he hung on that tree for you. God bless you brother.

Danny A
juni0rspop1979@yahoo.com

Okay, so let's pretend I went and made a mohammed dress up, which I'm not saying I'm going to do because I'm really not sure how to draw it or whatever, but let's say I did one someday, would that prove anything?? No. You'd just make up another god I didn't make a dressup game for, like Vishnu, and scream that I'm too scared to do that too. And so on and so on. So it doesn't prove anything.

Besides, I'm not even sure what Mohammed looks like, so that's my reason. But one thing I'm not is scared! You're scared!

Bob
http://mohammeddressup.com/

 

“Jesus died on a cross for your sin because he loved you and he paid the penalty for all your sins!”

Subject: Jesus

Bob
Jesus died on a cross for your sin because he loved you and he paid the penalty for all your sins ...just believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved

God bless

Kevin Woods
pkwoods@eircom.net

I believe it was I who was put here to be the atheist equivalent to Jesus. I accept the eternal hell you pile atop my head just as Jesus would if this offers you relief from the burden of having an eternal paradise depend upon how adequately you defend your god. I permit myself to be your verbal punching bag without regard for my well-being! Damn me forever! Give me your best shot. I will not retaliate!

I don't expect anything in return for my sacrifice. All I ask is that you direct all of your ill will onto only me, and leave the innocent children, each of whom was born atheist, alone. They cannot be held accountable for their disbelief at birth. They've not even the skills to read a bible verse or say the name of Jesus! Dear God, I pray the pity and tears you save for atheists falls only upon me, and me alone.

Witness my Passion,
Normal Bob Smith

P.S. Lord, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

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