Hate Mail

The Val V. Phillay files

Her letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Subject: Thank you

I've only just discovered your website recently, during one of many late-night searches for entertainment or knowledge (or both), and I felt the desire to let you know how much you work means to me. Ha, I suppose I also want you to know that not all young adults are complete morons, like the ones that seem to love to e-mail you.

I was raised without the "Doom of God" weighing on me by a pagan mother and an agnostically-christian father, who separated while I was young. I first pronounced myself agnostic at a young age, when I first realized that many people had many strange views. Only a couple years after that, I took myself to atheism when I realized those strange views I had seen in many were also incredibly irrational. Since that defining moment I have been on an unending philosophical quest for knowledge and answers.

This "quest" has only ever served to reinforce my absolute disdain for religion. The most shocking thing I have ever learned from any of my searching is that many people are complete fucking morons and don't have the logic to find their way out of a room with big fucking flashing signs. I thank God (haha) for the mental capacity to be able to use critical thinking and logic in a proper manner.

I just want you to know that your work is not lost on just the "sheeple" (a hilarious cartoon), there are many educated people, young and old, who appreciate your work, who are inspired by your work. I want you to know that this world is not full of people who lack the capacity to think for themselves for once; this world is not full of Pascal's wagerers either (which a good portion of your hate mail seems to be). I want you to know your work is not lost, and I hope I never see you step down as the "clown" of logic, the Devil's Advocate. I also would like you to know that the Super Chics are absolutely gorgeous!

"Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man...living in the sky, who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer and burn and scream until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you and he needs money."
-George Carlin, how we miss you

Thank you Bob Smith,
Ethan Enos

P.S. Another quote from the original Devil's Advocate:
"I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately."

“God is not a joke, and needs to be treated with the utmost respect and reverence that he deserves.”

Hi Bob,

Just wanted to let you know that your website is disgusting and wanted to find out how you could ever make a mockery of Jesus by playing dress up.

God is not a joke, and needs to be treated with the utmost respect and reverence that he deserves.

Remember what you sow, so shall you reap.

God has great plans for you

Hope you adhere
God Bless you
Val V Phillay

In answer to your enquiry, the way I can make a mockery of Jesus is because he's make-believe. He's a pretend character who flew in the sky, shot miracles from his fingertips and rose from the grave so he could be king of the universe up in paradise. He's pretend.

And yes, I will reap a pretend suffering in a pretend hell at the command of a pretend god in your pretend world. I'm really really terrified. Let's see, what's the language you people understand? Oh yeah! I have FAITH that I will be just fine, and it is my devout Faith I know it's all pretend. To question my Faith is THE most damnable offense, punishable in the afterlife by eternal TORTURE! Oh sweet Faith.

Hey Val, what you got to say to that?


“God can fly, he can do miracles, he conquered the grave and he is king of the universe, so how can he be a pretend... do you know anyone that has ever done that?”

Hi Bob,

I greet you in the wonderful name of my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

I cannot change the way that you feel about my God, but I can assure you that he is real, he's not pretend.

You claim that, my God can fly, he can do miracles,he conquered the grave and he is king of the universe, so how can he be a pretend..........do you know anyone that has ever done that, do you know that Jesus died for sinners like you and I.

There is no need to make a mockery of him. They way you speak gives me the impression that you dont "care much" about what happens to you.

Well, If you don't believe in Jesus Christ at least believe in Hell and its fury, It is real.........................you seem to know what happens there.

I just wanted to leave you with a scripture verse from the Bible, I hope this will encourage you.

Proverb 29:18

Where there is no vision, the people will perish..........

Take Care and God Bless you
Val V Phillay

Hello my dear and wonderful special friend and Comrade in glorious Faith in the universe of our imaginations, Saviour to us all. I welcome you to another heartfelt exchange of wonder and true love under a sky of infinity.

I cannot express enough how deeply saddened I am by your response to my cherished Faith. There is clearly no way I can change that which you feel about my beloved & treasured beliefs. If you choose to have a heart of stone to that which I hold most precious and dear there is nothing I can do but hope for the best and sadly mope around my home, head turned southward, watering the ground with my sorrowful tears of pity and rejection. But please, I beg you not to mock my tender Faith. There is a time and a place for many things, but when you insist that the subjects of my Faith aren't correct, my heart screams out in pain, leaving me on my hands and knees on the kitchen floor struggling with all my strength to simply pull myself up to the sink for just a few tiny droplets of water to sip from my cupped, shaking hand.

I do know other people who can fly, do miracles & conquer the grave. Superman, Peter Pan, Zeus, Yoda, Mighty Mouse, The Prophet Muhammad's pet donkey, Doctor Manhattan, the whole cast of The Matrix, and I think even a couple of those Ninja Turtles too. I ask you, Val, how can they all be pretend if they actually do those things that are written of them?

Obviously your lack of belief in other people's nursery rhymes and magical tales show me that you care not for yourself. You are so anxious to let yourself be cast into the depths of a Muslim Hell, and the Mormon Hell, and the Hindu Hell, and the Hari Krishna Hell. It is your choice I suppose, even though their Bibles clearly state, "The nonbelievers in our gods make the choice of eternal suffering in our Hells instead of simply believing that which we say is true. Oh why must they be so self-destructive and self-loathing to wish upon themselves an eternity of suffering at their own hands? Praise be unto Allah, Vishnu, Krishna, & Joseph Smith!"

It is now early morning and I have only just woken from a long night's rest, but even so, I am still going to think of you and cry myself to sleep.
I call them "Unhappyness-naps."


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