Hate Mail

The Andrew Fraser files
Letters from a Christian history teacher who can't spell or “right.”

His letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Hey Bob,

Just wanted to sound off and let you know I think the site is great. I'm sure you get plenty of e-mails about recanted Christians. I'm one of them. Heck, I'm actually a recanted-Catholic who became a born-again Christian, only to recant that one too a few years later. That being so, and living in America — erm, Jesusland USA I mean — I'm always scouring the internet for those little gleams of hope in our world; the places where religion — especially of the monotheistic brand — is openly disavowed, mocked, and ridiculed.

Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon NormalBobSmith by accident, following links from various other free-thinking sites. I'll admit, it was a little overwhelming at first. You've got a lot going on across the home page. I persevered though, clicking on the Satan's Salvation comic first. It has quickly become my favorite web-comic. I hope that you plan to continue it, while I did enjoy the latest few strips, it would be a shame if you stopped there.

After that I started reading all of the hate mail you receive and post, along with your replies to some of these ridiculous people. I thought it was really cool to see that you're also an intellectual. I can jive with that. I'm going to keep on exploring your site, try to see everything there is to see (it would seem, according to the hate mail, that Dress-Up-Jesus and Dress-Up-Mohammed are popular. Maybe I'll go there next).

I just figured I would do my part to offset the onset of seemingly-inebriated Christian hate-mailers that must fill your inbox day-in and day-out.

Keep on rockin' Bob.

- Seph

“if you were really smart you would not display this email for it will inspire your downfall...”

Dear Mr Bob
 
Hi my name is Andrew and i live in Australia i just discovered your website, and as a christian i wanted to say.... THANKYOU..
thankyou so much mr bob for showing me as a christian how well the christian movement is going in the usa and on the internet. i never really understood how far the message of christ has gone and how many people it has reached.

Seeing the fear in your eyes and the desperate atempt at mocking Christ brings an odd sense of joy to me, for it shows how afraid you truely are and how threatend of Christ you are. which is realy sad because he just wants you to know and accept him as your personal Lord and savour for he did die (unjustly) for you and your transgresions. sure other christians will say your evil and going to hell and your a sinner, bla bla bla. well in reality your "sin" is no different than a 13 year old stealing a coke can. so try as you might the lord see's you and your rebelious attitude no differently than he see's that thirteen year old taking a coke can.

oh and by the way greater people than you have both tried and fialed to mock Christ or ridicule Him to achieve some kind of self satisfaction such as: Paul of tarsus, Agrippa 1, Maximinus thrax,  Emperor Kangxi of the Qing Dynasty,  Tokugawa shogunate,  Tippu Sultan, the ruler of the Kingdom of Mysore, oh and my favorite Hitler and the Nazis who tried to change christianity to thier worped views. Sorry to say mate your just a try hard with red make up, you don't compare with the ones who tried (and failed i might add) to defeat Jesus Christ the Lord God Almighty.

One more thing you should read up on what satan or the devil actualy looks like because again you look like a fool in red make up. he is a deciever so Try dressing as an angel of light all majestic and what not because that is in fact what he looks like not some clown with horns and a red face.
 
So once again thank you for proving to me that the gospel really is making a great advancement in society you've brought great joy to me in this fact. oh and feel free to ridicule the spelling or grammer in this email to your supporters because again i've delt with bigger fish than you, so do the whole this kids off his meds speach on my email because i would welcome it. but if you were really smart you would not display this email for it will inspire your downfall...

Looking forward to you response 
sincerly
Andrew Fraser

As you can imagine, Andrew, I was particularly discouraged by your email. I receive lots and lots of hate mail, as I'm sure you saw, from angry, misinformed, and let's face it, pathetic Christians. They are weak in their faith and only end up feeding my ego with their insecurities as you clearly witnessed. To me they are simply juicy grapes falling from the vine into my mouth. But when one such as you rises above the standard "hysterical fundy" stereotype and actually expresses joy for what I've done, there's no denying it sets me back.

I was honestly shocked you were able to read me from such a distance. Right down to the fact that, yes indeed, the Christian movement is starting to show hints of making some impact on parts of the United States after so many decades of silence and passivity. I suppose now, at least for someone like yourself, it's obvious the message of Christ has finally crossed the ocean from Australia to America and is shaking things up a bit.

However, I have to tell you, it's hard for me not to find some joy for myself in how much defensiveness and anxious typing I've inspired from someone of your caliber. I mean, getting dimwitted hillbillies to smash their computer monitors with a stick is one thing. But when I'm receiving frantic emails with so much thought, referencing and bullets of over-confidence from intellectuals like yourself, I too feel an injection of power to my bloodstream. It doesn't take a genius to see the fear of being posted on my site in your last sentence. And why would you say any discouraging words against my devil costume if it was only making me look foolish? It's hard not to see traces of fear of my devil costume in the lengths with which you're willing to reach to remove me from it. I promise you, Andrew, it's just for fun, but if you're so intimidated by it that you'd take the time to list out the obvious flaws in its details so I'll take it off or change it, I've gotta be doing something right. Wouldn't you agree? ;) lol

So in conclusion, in the course of this response, my frown's turned upside-down picturing you stumbling through your mispellings to somehow get my attention and act like my efforts actually benefit you. But perhaps I am your worst nightmare, and this is why you've chosen me as your project? Because I am who you're losing sleep over? Could it be so? I know you can see where I'm coming from. The reverse psychology can work both ways, if you know what I mean.

I'm looking forward to your response, 
Sincerely,
Bob

“will you take down the dress up gain and apologise???”

Dear Mr Bob
 
Thank you for responding to my email, i quit enjoyed reading it to see that my hypotheses was in fact spot on. For you see i predicted that you would use cunning, wit and a hint of cynicism in your reply to my email, and also that the email would for fille its function in "setting you back". I will admit, however against my own judgment that you were correct in saying i'm defensive and anxious, defensive in the sense of defending my faith and anxious in seeing the effect it would have on you. I see now that you are a reasonable man a smartass at times but reasonable non the less which i too would fall under such a category. Onto your comment of you being my "worst nightmare" well i was sadned to see that you took no notice on the fact that as previously stated "i've delt with bigger fish than you" for you see my nightmares are for one not your concern and two on scale thats uncomprehendable by most, so please take no joy on that matter.
 
Now as for overconfidence well thats me in a nut shell, though may i point out that you did say you would change your out fit, and that to my knowledge this email was not posted on your web site so in reality it was simply condidance in the fact that my words were well established in an anargument over your said costume and my email. I believe it  is not that i'm intimedated by you it just puzzeld realy, for you comit to your beliefs as an aithest yet you dress up as you would describe a Mythilogical being (satan) why? my guess is to piss off christians which i admit is fun for i do the same but on a different level which is not offence to the Lord.
 
I actually took the time to read ten of both hate and fan mail letters and i like the way you use factual information or reverse reasoning in your replys wich by my guess is to again cause a reaction. now i noticed that in my letter there was but a small fraction of such tactics  that makes me sad however i must just make do with what was given to me. so lets move on to the question on every christians lips will you take down the dress up gain and apologise??? of course not because that would be boring and then you'd have to deal with all the thank you letters which sucks cause you could not use your raw tallent to continue to piss off other people. so all i ask is that you consider swaping the clothes around put somthing new. for you see i work part time as a history teacher at a christian school and one of my students showed me this website. so i got all the kids to go on and dress jesus in the clothes that he would were if he wanted to come for a vist and the each had there own idea then i got them to right a story about why they chose the design. It was great even the school chaplen was glad to see that this turned out to be a posittive thing after all. yes even though i'm a teacher my spelling is terrable we all make mistakes luckly my friend forgives me, but your not interested in that so lets continue to move on.
 
In conclusion Mr bob thanks agian for the reply i hope oneday we meet, oh and again the whole spreading stories of how christ is a myth and what not, well thats all very well and good but you need to join the party who is try to disprove the first five books of the bible if you do that then you've destroyed the foundation for christainity, so good luck with that but i'm sure you dont want me to make another list of all the people who were unfortunite in there efforts to complete such a task do you. of course you dont. well talk to you soon my red faced friend.
 
looking forward to your response
 
sincerly Andrew Fraser
 
p.s good luck with those muslim radicals the a tuff crowd i recomed changeing your ip adress cause in my line of work i've seen what the can do its nasty stuff.

Holy Jesus wow, Andrew. Your response is more than I could have ever dreamed! So much so, part of me wants to just laugh it off as fiction, but my friend here sitting with me listened to me reading it, and he says it's probably true.
"You can't make up some of that stuff. Someone who writes that badly couldn't think that creatively" he said.

I mean "a Christian school history teacher?" What's that? You're a bible teacher. That's a Christian history teacher, right? And a history teacher who can't spell "write" or "terrible" or thinks "outfit" is two words? I mean, how can an adult be such an awful speller, and writer for that matter, and still be a working schoolteacher? Is it because you don't read books and recognize proper spelling? And for god's sake, why wouldn't you use spellcheck and at least TRY to improve?!? Just for the sake of the kids! And then dangling that carrot of using my site as a project for your students just seemed too good to be true.
But then I looked you up, and there you are- http://au.linkedin.com/in/andrewjfraser Real as ever. "Sydney Area Australia Educator" and everything. And it explains the sudden influx of Australian complaint letters I'm getting as well.
I am floored.

So, you made it sound like the only thing you really wanted, after all these paragraphs back and forth, were new outfits to dress Jesus in, but you gave me not a clue what you meant. I've got hundreds of different pieces to choose from, and you think there's something I've missed? I'm anxious to take requests. Also, is there any way I could convince you to forward me some of your student's finished Jesus Dressup projects? I'd kill to see the one's who got A's. Hell, and definitely the D's & F's too! They'd be priceless to me.

Yes, you nailed exactly why I dress as Satan. It pisses the people off who I enjoy pissing off. And offending the Lord or not makes no difference to me since he doesn't exist. I feel that the reasons are obvious, and yet religious people still trip over themselves about how much it doesn't bother them so why don't I FUCKING KNOCK IT OFF, GOD DAMMIT!!
It's so funny to me, in fact, I included a segment about it in my comic, Satan's Salvation.

As for disproving the first 5 books of the bible, it's easily done from the very beginning. Dinosaurs existed, but between the first couple days in which god invented light and separated water from land, and the fifth day when he created all living creatures there's no 230 million years in the middle of that week to account for them. You'll say it's just metaphor, or story telling or whatever. I say if your "history lessons" are so loosely based, and contradictions to scientific evidence laughed off as misinterpretation, then you're correct. There's no disproving it, because it's making no solid proclamations to disprove.
I believe I've heard it worded best when a friend of mine once said:

Absolute Truth is definite.
The Bible is not definite
The Bible is not absolute Truth.

Your responses are priceless to me.
Thank you.

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