Hate Mail

Pleading for a retraction

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Subject: I'm a big fan of yours

I recently rediscovered your site after picking fights with some Christians and young earth creationists. I'm just a normal atheist who looks for trouble just like you. I'm also a big fan of Richard Dawkins - I don't know if you are - and I started this whole atheism trend with The God Delusion. But a few years prior I did read your hate mail for fun. Now it helps me win arguments and gives me hope that logic is still alive.

Also, I just noticed: You're really fucking tall. Seriously. I was wondering why all your videos were from a high vantage point.

Your 5'5" atheist friend,
Haley Urbon


Yes, I too like Richard Dawkins, and I even had the honor of meeting him! I'm proud to know I've helped you out in a way that Dawkins has helped me.

I am just 6' 3", but I suppose that's gigantic to 5'5"

Thank you for the email!

Dear Bob,

I checked your site today, like I do just about every day. And imagine my surprise when I clicked on "silly hate mail, with pretty fan mail." I was expecting to see some random (apparently hot) girl with her random fan mail.

My little sister went away to college last month, and I have not seen or heard from her, because apparently she's too "caught up in college" to call me or anything. But I see she's NOT too busy, apparently, to email YOU with a PICTURE of herself (she's magically transformed into a geek in that picture?!?!?!) So cudos on having somehow, having never met my sister before, earned her love and time more than I have. I sent her an angry message a few minutes ago, saying something along the lines of, "Some freakishly tall New Yorker in a Satan costume is apparently more deserving of your time than I am." Instead of apologizing to me, she was like, "OMFG send a link!!"

I don't know what to think or feel anymore. But I still love you, Bob. I'm just gonna need to go vent for a while before I visit your site again.

Your frustrated friend,
Catherine Urbon

PS. No hard feelings, Bob.
My other (now favorite) sister and I are always quoting your Qwerty-Qwerty story. "BOMBO!!!"


Oh snap!


“Please remove the content on your page dressing up Jesus”

Please remove the content on your page dressing up Jesus…. This is a disgrace, and Im not even a holy roller, but this offends me and you will pay for this someday when you pass on…..

Robert Marsh

I defiantly refuse your request, and suggest we schedule a battle in the afterlife. Weaponry is permitted for I will be brandishing a pitchfork! So come ready.
It is then we will see to whom the trophy truly belongs!

“I will pray...”

I will pray for your conversion…. 

Robert Marsh

I have no problem with you thinking thoughts to yourself if it helps soothe the troubled feelings you have about me.

I take it as a compliment.


“He will surely come to judge the people according to their works so keep your self safe at that time.”

Dear Brother,
                      I dont know that you may hurt or realize by my mail. JESUS he is the king of kings and he is a living god did you ask god before doing this kind of thing.Do we such a rich fellows to offer him dresses and what kind of dresses are there for King and living god.people want to make him to wear a T-shirt having symbol of satan, dresses meant for ladies u want wear him those dresses.

Dear brother you just think whether it is good or bad in the sight of our Lord jesus christ because "The foolishness of god is wiser than the wisdon of men " Dont make him angry,humiliate him,he is the saviour.he is the lord and he is,he was and he is to come.He will surely come to judge the people according to their works so keep your self safe at that time.

                           with love of jesus christ,

K.Sowri Babu
Research scholar
Department of physics

Oh, have no doubt, wise Babu, each and every day I live in fear of the angry, vengeful god up beyond the clouds who might at any moment black out the sun for my great insult. Each morning when I wake I terrorize myself thinking "Will this be the day when my foot falls through the ground and I parish into the center of planet earth forever?" And walking down the sidewalk I duck into corners and hide under thick trees overcome with worry that his giant fingers will pinch me up and flick me into sun! Believe me, every day I feel as if I barely survive, outstepping his wrath only because my paranoia is so extremely tweaked, and the brim of my hat so opaque.

Then there are the days when the weather is less than perfect, or I hit my head on the low beam in my entryway, or my train is late, and I know for a fact it is all a result of what I've done to Jesus online. In fact, sometimes I suspect all the evils of the world are on account of each individual bad thing someone has done in which the god of the world does not approve! Someone says words that insult The Lord and a volcano erupts and wipes out a village. A thought about Jesus having been perhaps not perfect results in a small child getting hit by a car, or this silly website to blame for my broken toaster. As a research scholar of physics I will not waste your time any further explaining how all of these actions have such obvious, immediate reactions, for this is exactly your field of expertise.

Thank you so much for your scientific observations on this matter. Next time I will ask his permission.


“Are you frightend, are you disappointed, are you desperate, are you lost?”

Hi Bob,
I'm wrighting you from Berlin.
I found your dressup-jesus in the web and then I visited your website.
I think you spend a lot of time and energy to fight against religion and the beliving in God and Jesus.
What are your reasons for these fightings in the deep of your heart? Are you frightend, are you disappointed, are you desperate, are you lost?
I´m not dogmatic, but my view of Jesus is, that he had a strong and hopeful opinion and a lot of love, kindness and understandig in his heart. For me it is awful, that he was murdered in this terrible way, and it makes me sad, sad, sad, to see people making joke out of him and his dead.  No one should make such kind of jokes about anyone.
Sorry for my english!
Barbara J.

Hello there, Barbara! I'm always happy to hear religious people's questions on why someone is an atheist, or how could someone hear all the stories of men being raised from the dead, flying up into the sky to heaven, the scapegoats, blood sacrifices and not believe it's all true? I suppose it's just another one of those times when I feel like the only normal person in the world, and everyone else is bananas!

FIrst of all, I always think it's so funny that you and everyone else always asks, "Are you frightend, disappointed, desperate, lost?" without any mention of the most obvious - "because it doesn't sound real, and perpetuating a lie is bad."
Why don't people ever say that one? I mean, have you read what your beliefs are? I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. I mean, come on, Barb. Seriously. How old did the oldest person in the bible live? Say it with a straight face!

But I understand you believe it's all true just because, or you feel it in your heart and that's all the reason you need.
See, to me it's so bizarre that you'd buy into such immense claims without IMMENSE evidence. Like, if anyone were to come to me and say "I know of a guy whose dad is the wizard who made earth! And he told me if I slaughter a goat on a butcher's block its blood will wash away everything bad you've ever done! Isn't that great!?" I'd really insist on some proof right that very minute or I was gonna call the cops. Like, let me meet this wizard-dad, then I want to see him shoot fire balls out of his hands, or drain a lake by pointing at it, or make his skin turn rainbow colors or something. THEN I'll listen to all the crazy you got!

That's what you do, right? I mean, if you have kids, or you're giving someone advice, that's what you'd suggest they do when presented with unbelievable tales and urgings to believe they're true. Right? Or is that unreasonable and you think someone like me should believe it anyhow? And no poking fun? Is that where you're coming from?

Anyhow, thanks for emailing me your questions. I love hearing where people are coming from no matter how strange they sound. In fact, the stranger, the better! Haha.


“You should do a dressup site about Jews!”

You should do a dressup site about Jews, I wonder if you'd get the same laughter LOL :)

Marc Pinke

Hhahahahaha!!! That'd be funny because they're not real either!!! Haha!!

Wait. Isn't that exactly what I've done?

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