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Subject: "You don't thank people for loving you."

Ahhh, my mom actually did that the other night. "Thanks for loving me," she said. I was surprised, being that you usually don't hear that, but it is sincere.

Now what kind of underwear do you have on, Bob?

George
www.EatMyCube.com

“REPENTS FROM YOUR SIN”

May GOD FORGIVE YOU! REPENTS FROM YOUR SIN

Richard Kotochie

Way too preachy. Please try again.

Bob

 

“not right”

Thats so not right Bob

-Paul

Wait. How so? You mean the "making the god of the universe cry" part?

Bob

“No”

No the dressing him on the cross

-Paul

Beh. Don't worry about it. He was out for a only a couple days, then came back 'round, gave his handshakes and toodle-oos to everybody and flew up into the clouds to paradise, forever. Nothing to feel bad about at all. He got crowned king of the freakin' universe, for Christ's sake. He's fine. Not worth even a single tear.

Bob

“Very insensitive Bob, Oh well...”

Very insensitive Bob, Oh well Have a good day and thanks for getting back to me!

all the best

-Paul

Wait. I seriously can't tell if you're being serious or not. We're talking about the god of all the universe and making fun of his 3 day death, right? I'm so in the dark lately on which beliefs are serious and what's a joke.

Look at it like this. Imagine if I came at you saying making fun of the death of Spock from Star Trek would be awfully insensitive because it makes him and his followers sad. You gotta see what I'm talking about, right?

“not sure anyone looks at Spock as God”

No Bob

We are talking about Jesus who is looked upon by many as God not sure anyone looks at Spock as God Your entitled to your view its just I stumbled upon your page and was a bit taken back by it. My opinion. As I said I wish you well

-Paul

Yes. But there are also many who see Sathya Sai Baba as god. Others who thought David Koresh was god. There are many people who think Kim Jong Il is god. People thought Zeus was god! NONE of these people's cherished belief in god-men need be taken seriously. 
In fact, rule is, if someone's claiming they're a god, instead of bowing and lavishing that person with respect & worship, they should immediately have a cream pie squashed into their face.

I mean, Jesus. Your standards for respect are really that weak?

Bob

 

“I 'googled' "Jesus" today and your website was listed in the top 5 of the results. This tells me that Jesus is coming...”

Bob,

I 'googled' "Jesus" today and your website was listed in the top 5 of the results. This tells me that Jesus is coming back very soon to save his adopted children from the Earth's destruction. Have you considered asking him into your heart in order to set all of your sins right?

You see, you and I, we are both horrible, retched creatures because we have both sinned. Whether it is a little white lie or adultery, you and I have committed at least one sin. That is enough for us to spend forever in hell, because sin is what separates us from God. God sin the punishment of sin is death. Sounds pretty terrible, right? But the story ends well! You see, God actually put on flesh and walked among us. He felt trials and tribulations, he was even tempted to commit sin! Bit he never sinned and was nailed to a cross, similar to the cross on your website. Even though he could have commanded legions of angels to get him off the cross and destroy the men who murdered him, he didn't. He died so you and I don't have to. He was blameless and took the punishment for us. All we have do do is realize that he died for us, confess that we are not perfect, we deserve death, and ask him to be our best friend.

I have made that realization and Bob, I made the decision to allow him to become Lord of my life. What a loving and wonderful God I have. Bob, I'd ask that if you have not yet met Jesus, to just say a little prayer with me. I'm not asking you to join a church or a relationship, but I'm asking you to let Jesus in your life and allow him to become your best friend. this email is about a relationship, not a religion. Sooner or later you will realize that this short life is nothing compared to the eternity that is on the line. Do you chose Eternal life in a wonderful, sinless, disease-less, sorrow-less perfect world, or do you chose eternal life in a place of flames, misery and suffering? You see Bob, god doesn't send anyone to Heaven or hell, he has given us the free will to send ourselves. So what place is it gonna be, Bob? I'm praying for you.

Dustin Roberts

Jesus Christ. Are you for real? I read your email the first time thinking "Ha. Another silly kid pretending to be a groveling self-hating Christian. Ha ha ha." But then the second time through it I was all "Good god, this person might be for real!"
I mean, either way I simply can't take it seriously. How can you? What is anyone supposed to do with someone like you? You sound like you're barely functional, lucky your god even gave you nerve endings to feel the pain of all the torture he lined up for you to endure.

What is the basic responsibility normal people with an average amount of self preservation instinct have for those who view themselves as filthy, wretched, unfixable creatures deserving of unending suffering? Pity is the first response, but it's a complete waste of time & emotion. But what about the fact that a portion of the population is extraordinarily susceptible to this sort of defeatist mentality? Talk about a complete and utter surrender to anything that comes down the pike! Perhaps your god would be even happier if we all writhed around in our own poop pleading for mercy from the sky while punching ourselves in the face and groin.

"OH SWEET PERFECT GOD IN THE AIR, I BEG FOR YOU TO SUFFOCATE ME WITH MY OWN DIRTY SOCKS! YOU ARE SO DIVINE AND PERFECT! WE ARE BUT PISS-SLURPING SWINE!!! WHAT A UNIQUE AND CLEVER PLAN YOU SCRIPTED FOR US!!!! NOW PLEASE WIGGLE MY PUPPET STRINGS TO YOUR WHIM!!!!"

Yeah, anyone with even the slightest doubt that we're a minimally evolved relative of terrified cave dwellers who sacrificed their babies to the sun so it'd rise again can rest assured after your email.

Thank you. I'm convinced. Now I can use my bible for kindling.
Bob

 

“Can you make a website up that thanks him for his love for you?”

Subject: Jesus dress up 

Jesus Christ loves you very very much, you know that:)  Can you make a website up that thanks him for his love for you?

rgtt98@sbcglobal.net

You don't thank people for loving you. 

Bob


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