Hate Mail

No Hate.
Just Gay.
The files of Sean

His letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Owen, Amanda, Kenya, me, Mary & Christine

No doubt about it, Comic Con was a blast, and I had the best crew slaving away to get the word out.

There were so many favorite parts, but one of my favoritous was my Mormon missionaries for Jesus Dressup.

Here's a photo of Owen and Christine trying to deliver the good word of Jesus Dressup. Head to toe, they were so convincing that at times we actually scared people away! Leave it to me to put laughs before profits.

So I ordered these name tags online through a place called Namifiers.com, one of the top search results for "name tag engraving."

I gave them the layout info, paid for them, then the very next day I got a call from Utah! I got a message telling me: "This is Greg with Namefiers, I am the customer service manager, and your engraved nametag order will not be processed due to a conflict of interest. This message has been sent down from our chief operations officer, your money has been refunded and you will NOT be receiving your order due to a conflict of interest! Yadda yadda yadda..."
Of course Mormons have a monopoly on the name tag making industry!

Owen & Christine

But it wasn't all roadblocks and headaches. I relished barking at the crown for the sake of our booth.


I barked until I could bark no more. Video is on the way, thanks to Derek Gordon so our full bionic presence will be brought to you to paint a full picture.

I can't say enough how much fun it was to have our little booth, and even though it only did so partially, it was the fulfillment of a dream: A real life Jesus Dressup Store in NYC, with uniformed employees and everything!

Amanda & me

Lots more from the events of Comic Con are on the way, like this hilarious video from our booth put together by producer Derek Gordon.

Oh, and before I forget! Here's one last photo of my delightful schoolgirl Mary puking in a toilet after her last day of work.

Love ya Mary!

“what made you decide that God isn't real?”

Hi there,
I stumbled across your website somehow the other day, and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind sharing with me a bit of your story. I saw somewhere that you said that you used to believe in Jesus.  Would you mind sharing what kind of church background you had growing up, and what made you decide that God isn't real? I'm curious to better understand why it is that you do what you do on this website here.


Hey Sean! I'd be delighted to walk you through the "Normal Bob" experience, what got me here, and my hopes and dreams for the future.

What happened with me was a pretty common conversion story. I was raised Christian, in a Christian family, Christian neighborhood, Christian church and even a Christian school for a little bit. I had no other schools of thought on the meaning of life presented to me besides Christianity. Jesus Christ was the only option up until I moved out and started using my own rationale (as opposed to everyone else's) to decipher truth from fiction.

With my new adult mind separated from its singular teaching surroundings it was hard not to see what was really going on on planet earth with regards to religions and god inventing. In atheism everything made sense. It all could very easily be explained through the eyes of a world without gods, and I soon began to understand that a worship of anything was not only wrong, but destructive.

Following my repentance from Christianity I was able to clearly look back on what I had been taught and see how destructive, illogical and oppressive its life instruction and outlook is on humanity. That's what inspired my plight against it, which is exactly what you see before you on my websites, and elsewhere in my life.

I hope that that answered your questions. I too would be interested to hear why you believe what you do, and how you feel about atheism.
Normal Bob

“...now that I was no longer hindered by any kind of moral standard... I found myself walking headfirst into the homosexual lifestyle. I was truly happy.”

Hi Bob, thanks for getting back to me.
My parents brought my brothers and I to church until I was about 10 years old.  After that they told us that we were old enough to go on our own if we wanted.  We lived in a small town, the kind where everybody knows everybody.  After being given the option, my attendance became irregular.  As I got older, I began to see the hypocrisy of many of my classmates – they all claimed to be Christians, yet they sure didn’t treat me in a loving kind of way.  I was an outcast, picked on, and often the worst offenders were the ones who sat across from me in Sunday School.
When I was 16, I prayed a prayer to God about some menial task that I expected instant results on, and naturally it wasn’t answered.  This was enough to convince me that a god should be something that I could see and hear and touch.  The God of Christianity didn’t fit that description.  And so, at 16, I walked away from my faith.
And, now that I was no longer hindered by any kind of moral standard, I found that I was able to engage in a practice that my heart truly desired. Thus I found myself walking headfirst into the homosexual lifestyle. I was truly happy.  I enjoyed not believing in God, and not caring about what He thought about what was right or wrong, and I enjoyed what I was doing.

More than that, I was convinced that this was the way things were always going to be.  I can remember telling people, and thinking, “I’ll never believe in God”, and “I will always be gay.” I was happy.  Except that I was lying to myself.  I thought that I was happy in my new lifestyle, but I found that the desires of my heart were more like a vacuum. The more I engaged in sexual activity with my partner, the less it satisfied, and the more I wanted – more and darker things.  And as each of those desires were met, the less they satisfied and the more I wanted.
And when I was at my lowest point, God began to move in my life.  Now, I had never given girls much heed in my whole life, and as a gay man, I really had no use for them.  I hardly noticed them as I walked down the street. Then, one Valentine’s day, after an encounter with a young girl at a drugstore, that changed in an instant.  Suddenly I couldn’t stop thinking about girls, and looking at them. It plagued me, and I resisted for a week – this wasn’t who I was, this wasn’t what I wanted at all, yet the thoughts didn’t go away.  I wrestled with these thoughts as they rocked my identity to the core. I had to figure out what was with these thoughts were all about, so I ended my relationship and severed all ties with everyone I knew from the homosexual community.
I was 21 at this point.  I thought back to when I was 16, when I had given up my faith. I thought that the reasons were pretty unreasonable, especially considering that I had never read the Bible.  So, I committed myself, with my ‘adult mind’ as you put it, to read the Bible, and to do it in an unbiased and objective way.  I figured that I should actually read it before I dismissed it.  So I began to read it, from cover to cover.
I didn’t get far before God revealed Himself to me, through a lifelong friend of mine. Our different faiths drove us apart until I tried to rekindle our friendship while I was gay. Then I took advantage of him and he said we couldn’t talk any longer.  With all these changes happening in my life, I called him, and after I told him about all the things that were going on, he said to me, “Now we can be brothers again.”  I pondered this for a while, until a thought entered my mind, which didn’t feel as though it was from me.  It said, “God gave your brother back to you.”
In that instant, I saw the story of my relationship with my friend – only where God was once absent, He was now inserted into my memories.  At once I understood that, while I had turned my back on God, He had never turned His back on me.  I saw all that He had done in my life, and believed.  Life makes more sense to me now than it ever has.
What do I think about atheism? Well, I used to be there, so I understand where you are coming from. It’s easy to look at Christians who preach one thing and then do another, and not be disgusted – and more than that, to question what it is that they even believe in if they can’t adhere to it themselves.  It’s true – all Christians, including myself, are hypocrites.
So I’m not going to sit here and criticize you, or try to convince you of the existence of God like many of the people that you make fun of on this site.  In fact, as I sit and read some of the things people say to you, it makes me ashamed and saddened. The love of Christ is not accurately represented by these comments, and for that I apologize, though it may not mean much to you.
I know that nothing I nor anybody can say to you will change your mind.  I understand this too, because people tried to convince me also many things – to believe in God, to turn from my lifestyle – but I wouldn’t listen.  The only thing the rest of these are accomplishing is giving you fodder with which to mock them. And I know that I run that risk myself, especially being so open with you.
However, I also know that I was convinced like you, and yet my mind was changed by God. So, I believe, and His word has taught me much – one of those things being that we Christians get it wrong a lot – the way that we ought to behave; to ourselves, to others, and to God. And there really is no excuse. A Christian without love is worse than a non-Christian. If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.

I'd like to know a bit more about your church life growing up.  What kind of church did you go to, what kinds of teachings did they have, was there any specific teaching or practice that bothered you or turned you off?

Thanks again,

Wow. So you're bi. You're attracted to both men & women. It's not that outrageous of a claim. And it sounds as if you just haven't grown up yet. Being sixteen, or even 21 isn't a time when guys have a lot of control over every urge, desire & heart flutter. Grappling with your self control is a natural part of maturing. It is not a battle between Satan and Jesus over your soul. It might feel that tangled, but I assure you it's an extremely normal part of growing up.

Part of growing up, Sean, is taming the heart and not letting every sexual urge send you into a tailspin of confusion and indulgence. Of course you weren't satisfied delving into your list of fantasies, especially if it's with someone you're losing an attraction to. Many things are meant to remain only fantasy, and there are many things that may sound like your wildest dreams come true, but when they actually happen in reality they're nothing like you pictured and can even be a complete disaster. That's normal life experience, Sean. Not devils pulling you into an abyss of darkness.

See, the key is this: Understand that even though your heart screams like a selfish child for a great many things (and it will all of your life), it's your responsibility to mature, think things through, and show some restraint. Let me tell you, I completely relate to being burdened by my Christian upbringing that sex is dirty, perverted and one of the poisons Satan uses to taint our lives. It still hinders me even though I know now, as an atheist, that sexuality is natural and we're totally allowed to experiment with it as long as it's safe and consensual. Let me give you fair warning now. Trying to live a straight life in the closet runs great risks to you and others. If you prefer men over women but you're suppressing it because you think it's evil, you're setting yourself for a lot of pain and confusion, and everyone you pick up along the way is onboard to crash along with you.

It doesn't sound at all like you were ever an atheist. There's a huge misunderstanding believers have about atheists. They think we were once hurt by someone at the church, or put off by some religious person's hypocrisy, or some other form of god-spite. It's nothing of the sort. That's still being a believer in god, you're just pissed at him. Being an atheist is being convinced god's make-believe. In fact, despite my happy religious childhood, and being surrounded by good Christian people I'm atheist. I'm atheist because he doesn't make sense. The bible, which I've read, doesn't make sense, so I've concluded it to be untrue, and god fake. And if something strange happens, or there's a shocking coincidence, or a long lost friend comes at me with a bible, I do not react with the thought "This is god talking to me!" No. As an atheist I suspect coincidence first. I'll suspect human error before I believe accounts of supernatural intervention. I'll even suspect my own selfish cravings before I believe gratifying promises. That's just being a responsible, mature adult. My decisions are based on everything but an intervening superman, because life just makes more sense that way.

Sean, I don't understand how anyone could read the bible and get past even the first stories of talking snakes, magic gardens, and clones made from a rib and see anything but myth. Then after that immediately comparing it with every other religious book and mythical god we've invented and seeing the sameness in each and every one of them. That's exactly where I stand.

I'm sorry, but I have a question I'm dying to ask. Do you still fantasize about men but simply don't act on it any more?

They almost never write back after an email like this and I don't know why, but he responded to Catherine here who asked me if she could have his address to email him personally. Here's what she came back with...






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All opinions, writings, illustrations & designs are that of Normal Bob Smith (C) 2000 - 2011
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