Hate Mail

Assorted variety of
Christian Haahs

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Hey Bob,

I love the site, love the design and love the content. I teach 10-11 year olds at a school in England and was brought up in a Christian household. Initially I went along with it, as I was too young to question the implications of faith (much like Father Christmas)! As I grew older I found myself loathing the Sunday morning church routine. I found myself more amused by the old folks singing to god with their hand in the air (as if to say 'Look at me God! Look! Look! I'm the holiest! Look! I've got my hand in the air and my eyes closed and everything!') Suddenly, I had my own revelation. I didn't ACTUALLY have to be there! I had worked out that I had a CHOICE not to go!! I'm a keen geologist and love science, so I naturally began to read a lot of Darwin's work, which led on nicely to Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens. One day I casually typed 'Jesus' into google and hey presto! Dress up Jesus pops up! I don't know how you managed that but kudos for it! 

I've been reading so many letters from the faithful on your site and I haven't been so entertained in years! So many of them banging on about how Jesus died to save us. Thing is, I've never understood what he actually saved us from! Do you know? How did Jesus being crucified 2000 odd years ago save me or anyone else from sin? What does it ACTUALLY mean? He hasn't made a jot of difference to my life as far as I can tell and people are still going around sinning like there's no tomorrow! Not a single Christian has ever been able to give me a sensible answer to this. I usually end up with a load of poetic nonsense. I could staple my left bollock to an onion and say that it was to redeem pigeons from their sinful ways when they shit on my car and nobody could prove any different. It's just I haven't died 2000 years ago and I don't know many magic tricks.

Anyway Bob, keep up the good work and I'll be checking in regularly to see what you're up to!

Best regards,

Gray Wilson.
“My ten year old son found this site while searching for answers to Bible School questions...”

Dear Sir,
I would like to ask you to consider removing your Dress Up Jesus site. I realize that this was probably done with humorous thoughts in mind, but this is completely offensive. My ten year old son found this site while searching for answers to Bible School questions, and I had to explain to him why someone like yourself would act in such disdain as to produce something in such bad taste. I realize you may consider yourself an atheist, or just choose not to accept the Bible and its teachings, but please realize this is not a religious rant, this is coming to you man to man to ask that you reconsider this particular site.

I consider Jesus my heavenly father, imagine if someone had the wherewithal to create a site dressing up your earthly father. Maybe something pinning him to the side of a barn or something as downright grotesque as you have constructed. Surely that would raise your ire. I truly believe making this one step out of your norm would do wonders for your other business exploits.

This is not written to wish you harm or with any bad feelings, but out of respect for your talent. I just wish you found it in your heart to remove this display. I greatly appreciate you taking the time to read this. God loves you, and has obviously blessed you with immense talent.  Please seek him out, as he stands ready to offer you eternal salvation.
 
Thanks and God Bless,
Shane Thompson

Shane, perhaps we can work something out. We're both reasonable men here. There are things you want me to change, and of course there are things I'd like you to change in return. I'm sure there's a middle ground we can both meet at, and each of us feel like we're walking away having accomplished something to our benefits.

Now you've made it clear that you want my site taken down, which I imagine would include stopping sales of the fridge magnet version of the aforementioned product, and cease from here on out blaspheming his name in such a way in other public forums. That's a lot to ask, but I'm not unwilling. Here is all that I ask in return so that I can wish-grant with a clean conscience.

#1. Please stop perpetuating the concept of anyone but oneself being responsible for their actions. No one, no time, in any way, shape or form can take on the responsibility for the wrongs we commit and still have it be considered justice. This concept is even more unlikely when the scapegoat is from thousands of years ago, and the stories of him sound like your standard myth from history. It's a perversion of responsibility & justice. Imagine if someone robbed and murdered your father, they caught the guy who did it, then the judge let him go because he was allowing someone innocent to take the blame? How would you feel? And that guy continued to rob and murder people and the judge let him off because someone else was willing to take the blame. What a crappy feeling your belief gives me inside.

#2. Stop perpetuating the eternal hellfire torture chamber for everyone who doesn't believe what you believe. Thinking that other people deserve to suffer is an ugly way to look at life. Imagine your father didn't believe in Jesus and then he died and had to go to hell forever and ever. Does that make you feel good inside? And it'd practically ruin your eternal heaven knowing where he is while you sit on your throne and eat chocolates. Imagine it were your father, Shane. Imagine that.

These are just 2 things. It's all I ask. Although there's a chance I might come up with a few others with corresponding examples of how much they'd suck if it were your dad. But it's obvious you're more than open to the concept of repentance based on a stranger's hurt feelings over hypothetical dad scenarios.

Thank you in advance for your flexibility.
Bob

 

“First of all Jesus is not hanging on the cross anymore, so why should we continue to remember him on the cross crucifying him again and again.”

First of all Jesus is not hanging on the cross anymore, so why should we continue to remember him on the cross crucifying him again and again.
 
 Now the men who were holding Jesus in custody were mocking him as they beat him. 64 They also blindfolded him and kept asking him, "Prophesy! Who is it that struck you?" 65 And they said many other things against him, blaspheming him.
 66 When day came, the assembly of the elders of the people gathered together, both chief priests and scribes. And they led him away to their council, and they said, 67 "If you are the Christ, tell us." But he said to them, "If I tell you, you will not believe, 68 and if I ask you, you will not answer. 69 But from now on the Son of Man shall be seated at the right hand of the power of God." Luke 22:63-69
 
Second by mocking him you are rejecting his gift to you
Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. John 3:18
 
Friend this is insulting to our Lord Jesus, know that he is watching and we all will be judged
 
But because of your stubbornness and unrepentant heart you are storing up wrath for yourself in the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous judgment of God, 6who WILL RENDER TO EACH PERSON ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS: romans 2:5-6

Gabriel Aguilar

No offense, but if this guy is going to take responsibility for ALL the crimes ever committed, one crucifixion isn't going to cover it. Not by a long shot! All the killing, rape, bank robberies, white lies, shopliftings, bar brawls, every single bad deed ever committed being paid for in a weekend, by one guy? I'm sorry, but there's a bit more punishment to be dealt him, Gab.

Just thinking about all the innocent children who've been murdered, families being starved to death by oppressive dictators in far away countries, jerks who steal things, mob hits, babies thrown down wells, arson fires, sweatshops, and "To Catch a Predator" episodes, I get enraged! I HAVE to take it out on whoever's responsible!!! (or whoever freely chooses to take full responsibility).
You say it's Jesus? Then there you have it.

He cut off his own slice of pie. If he bit off more than he can chew that's his problem.
Bob

 

“I AM A 14-YEAR-OLD TEENAGER AND SEEING THIS MAKES ME SICK”

Subject: WHAT ARE YOU DOING

DO YOU BELIEVE IN CHRIST?
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
I AM A 14-YEAR-OLD TEENAGER AND SEEING THIS MAKES ME SICK
YOU ARE MAKING FUN OF THE ALMIGHTY JESUS CHRIST THROUGH THIS PATHETIC GAME
I hope one day you find Him and are ashamed of this act of sin
That cross is where we are given the almighty chance to be with Him when we die.
and you spit on it..):

Christian Haahs

I'm disappointed. With a name like "Christian Haahs" I really expected your email to deliver a few more laughs.

Bob


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