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The Benefits to being so Shure

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Subject: Bob, you're the best

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your site! I've read the whole damn thing and am bummed I have no more Bob to read. I only found out about your site two weeks ago so I've been a bit obsessed. hahaha

I moved to Russia two years ago and, besides nearly everything being about 10X cheaper here, there is a marked lack of religion. I'm so grateful for that! I never get "godded" here except when meeting new people--they hear I'm American and they're afraid I'm some religious nut. Nice reputation we have. It makes sense, since every single American I've met here has been a Mormon missionary. Gag. I grew up Mormon and particularly hate them.

Being a lesbian, I've gotten my fair share of hate email, too, though I've not solicited it. I have a blog and sometimes comment on gaming sites so I guess that's enough to attract Christian bullshit. I wish I'd seen your comments years ago so I could've used some of your wit. I'm kicking myself.

My girlfriend kept asking me why I was laughing so hard and I kept responding, "Bob!" "Thank bog, you're an atheist!" is how she replies. Well, the Russian word for "god" is "bog". Fitting, I think.

Ever grateful for your indefatigable brilliance,
Jennifer Hamblen


“I HOPE YOU HAVE MANY PROBLEMS IN YOUR LIFE AND IT WILL BE BECAUSE OF THIS”

subject: HOW DARE YOU

You are 1 sick person
You don’t believe in GOD you will when you dies You will see why YOU SHOULD NOT PROMOTE HATRED AGAINST GOD LIKE THAT WHAT IS WORN WITH YOU  ……….YOU ARE DOING SATAN WORK ROT IN HELL YOU WILL
People need God everyone does
 
STOP  DOING THIS IF YOU CONTINUE    I HOPE YOU HAVE MANY PROBLEMS IN YOUR LIFE AND IT WILL BE BECAUSE OF THIS
 
GET GOD
Linida

Now come on. Really? Read back over your email and be honest. Is that really what you hope?

You know, saying all those things really makes it look like you've only got your own best interests in mind, and in the end couldn't give two shits about what happens to anybody else. Just as long as Linda gets what she wants all the time the rest of us can all rot in hell. I mean, I give you credit if that's actually what you're trying to convey and don't care how much of a dick you look like saying it publicly. But seriously, we both know where your Jesus-guy weighs in on this. He even said himself he prefers those who voice their disbelief as opposed to polite fence-sitters or believers who act like assholes.

In the end all I'm saying is it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out that while I'm accepting a medal of honor from God himself for staying true to my heart, you'll be a disposable urinal cake in one of Jesus' hundred-billion private restrooms scattered throughout our vast, spanning universe.

Bob

 

“I AM COMPLETELY SHURE THAT IF YOU GIVE YOUR LIFE TO JESUS HE WILL TAKE YOUR CHARGE...”

subject: TRY TO READ ONE PSALM


I AM COMPLETELY SHURE THAT IF YOU GIVE YOUR LIFE TO JESUS HE WILL TAKE YOUR CHARGE AND MAKES YOU THE MOST HAPPY PERSON IN THE WORLD.  THINK ABOUT IT, TRY TO READ ONE PSALM, JUST ONE AND THEN ANSWER ME.

If you do try to read one psalm, may I suggest Psalms 78?

Andres Romero

Are you completely and absolutely shure? Are you as shure as shure can be? Are you as shure as you are about shure itself?

Bob

 

“I THINK IT IS GREAT JESUS IS SO MUCH ON YOUR MIND. HE MUST OF IMPACTED YOUR LIFE SO MUCH!”

HI

I THINK IT IS GREAT JESUS IS SO MUCH ON YOUR MIND . HE MUST OF IMPACTED YOUR LIFE SO MUCH . YES HE THINKS AND KNOWS ABOUT YOU TOO . EVERY THING . AFTER ALL HE THOUGHT YOU WERE WORTH DYING FOR SO IF YOU GIVE YOUR LIFE TO HIM YOU WON'T GO TO HELL . THE THINGS YOU DO SURPRISE GOD . HOW CAN IT .

Bonita Perks

Bonita,
You have no idea how much it means to me to finally get some cheerful feedback regarding my Jesus site recognizing the impact he's had on my life. He knows ME, Bonita! Yippy-dippy-doo!! I'm a big boy that can go to the bathroom by myself being thinked about on a cloud in heaven! Happy wishes are being made for me!!

I feel like I'm ten years old again, except I'm 42! I'm gonna put on my propeller beanie, Speedracer shirt & pajama bottoms and jump and run and splash in the kiddie pool! HE'S THINKING ABOUT ME! HE'S THINKING ABOUT ME!! HE'S THINKING ABOUT ME!! OH HAPPY DAY HAPPY DAY!!

Goo goo ga ga. Goo goo ga ga.
Shit my diapers.
Is that what you're fishing for?
Bob

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Subjest: hey

You think dressing up our God, (you know your creator...) is funny? What the fuck is wrong with you? You'll be held accountable :) Remember, hell is a place of regret. Remember this message.

Adam Algutifan

Adam, I swear to you, I will remember it always, your message. I will be held in account... A place of regulate... um, No creator... Funny fuck, wrong... I, uh...

Jesus Christ, I already forgot! What was it again?

Bob


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