Hate Mail

Accumulated Hate Mail

Their letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Subject:
Praise God
Sep 12, 2011 at 1:32 PM

Dear Brother Bob
Thank God for the good work that you are doing for the Lord which i have just seen on your website that is why i have decided to contact you

   I am the senior pastor of Word of life harvest church in Kenya and a National overseer.I would also like us to share with you a bout our coming Leaders conference in Kenya and Uganda .I am  requesting you to come and speak to our Leaders conference early next year  because of your experience in the ministry work most of our  Leaders needs to be empowered and equipped with the word of God.

        Let me hear from you if God is leading you to come and speak to our conference so that i can send to you our conference schedule.

I wish you a wonderful day with God's blessings upon your family and ministry
In Christ's service and Love

Rev Chris & Tabitha Barasa
P.O Box 1882
Eldoret.Kenya



Hello Reverend Chris & Tabitha Barasa,

For a moment, after reading your email, I suspected it might be a deceptive spam letter lying about having actually seen my website and honestly requesting me, Normal Bob Smith, to come share my experiences in ministry work with the fine people of Kenya and Uganda. But then as I read further I saw you praise the Almighty God and were with Jesus Christ (the Enemy of all Lies) and realized this could not be the case at all. You were being straight with me as a representative of your faith & followers. So allow me to introduce myself.

How do you do? I am Normal Bob Smith. Thank you so much for this open invitation! There is nothing more I'd like than to come to Kenya with my ministries of the Unholy Army of Catholic Schoolgirls, complete with dancing devils, wrestling demonesses, Laughing Satan Act, as well as a LIVE Jesus Dressup EXTRAVAGANZA that'll bring the house down! I assure you, I'll have your fellow Kenyans on their knees and spasming like rabid madmen in the streets!


I cannot tell you how pleased I am that you looked over my site and deemed it worthy of showcasing to your devout followers. You are clearly looking out for their best interests. One of my favorite aspects of the Christian experience is the importance put on truth. It's work like yours that represents the whole of the character of those who bow to the One True God. I take my hat off to you, Brother Chris.

Do you know what else is so spectacular about God? It's the way he and his teachings encourage such sincerity & integrity. Knowing you're one the side of God means you have a direct line to goodness and its divine instructions to the world. It's also reassuring to know your beliefs allow for a bit of leniency when it comes to mucking things up a little sometimes. With God at your back you can often break free of his instructions. I don't know about you, but I think scapegoats are the most lovable, cuddly animals of the whole animal kingdom. They're sooooooo cute and kissable!

Anyhow, you name the weekend, and I''ll head on down with The Normal Bob Smith Show, uncensored, unforgettable and unquestionably UNHOLY!
Normal Bob Smith
http://normalbobsmith.com
http://jesusdressup.com

 

“Bob, you need to know that Jesus is Lord”

Bob, you need to know that Jesus is Lord, and every knee shall bow to him, even yours.

Connie Dewberry

Connie, you need to know that whenever I get an email from someone claiming to know God's thoughts and intentions I put them in a folder titled "whacks."

Thank you for contributing.
Bob

“What I DID say is that Jesus is Lord...”

Hi Bob, to claim to know God’s thoughts and intentions would be scary stuff….much scarier than your website. What I DID say is that Jesus is Lord and every knee will bow to Him, including yours.

I will contribute to that folder any time.
Best,
Connie

Was it these same kinds of ominous threats that at one time convinced you?
Here, let me see if I can switch you back as easily.

Connie! One day Mega Squid will rain fire upon you and all of your dreams for your blasphemous ways! You shall be just another puppet on one of her sticky tentacles of love. But, mind you, I do not claim to know Mega Squid's intentions.

Your preemptive "I told you so's" are one of the most becoming gifts your god's bestowed unto to you.
Bob

 

“why do you have to offend what for milion of person is sacred and important??”

Why don’t you do the same thing with other person??... why do you have to offend what for milion of person is sacred and important??
i really do not understand this kind os “games”...
 
Luis M. Ravaioli

So instead of joking around and mocking a god being that rules over the whole universe you'd rather I did it to someone more helpless and powerless? You'd rather it'd be someone who no one cares for, or loves who will actually die and disappear from existence some day?

I'm sorry, but I don't understand the fun part of your game.
Bob

 

“stick your thumb in your butt.”

Subject: Hi Bob

You can always stick your thumb in your butt. It might make you feel better.

Paul White

Hey, you were right! It does!

Uh oh. Now I think I'm gay.

Bob

“Amazing how touchy we humans can be sometimes.”

Hi Bob, Sorry for that comment. I was offended at the web site but actually Jesus would never have said something like that. Amazing how touchy we humans can be sometimes. Take care man. Best wishes. Chow

Paul White

It's "Ciao" not "Chow!" YOU'RE the one who should go stick a thumb up his butt!!!! Prick.

Wow. You were right.

Bob

 

“you do not have to spend eternity being frightful”

Subject: Your soul

Praying for your soul that the Christ of love and light who loved u so much he died for you will reveal himself to you so that you do not have to spend eternity being frightful

Rhonda Tharp

So let me get this straight. You're warning me of fear that's presently my destiny so that I'll get really afraid and be scared into changing my ways so as to avoid the ultimate fear that you're so frightfully afraid of?

If that's the case I believe you've summed it up perfectly.
Bob

 

“I find this site repulsive!”

Subject: you need to repent!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you might think your site is funny! but as a Christian, I find this site repulsive!
 
Denis

Duly noted. I'll file that away in a safe place.
You must be a busy guy, emailing every site you're repulsed by to tell them so.

Bob

 

“I WANT TO HANG YOUR FUCK ASS ON THAT CROSS!!!!”

Fuck you, god damn it.
I was listening to Ask An Atheist and browsing atheist links and clicked on the for Fun link which took me to your website. 

NOT FUN ASS HOLE !!!!     GOD DAMN FUCKING FRUSTRATING !!!!

Costumes move without clicking on it.  The window is bigger than the screen.  When moving the scroll bars, on the side or on the bottom of the window, to look at the costumes to choose which one I want to put on Jesus, a costume automatically moves with the mouse arrow.  The only way to stop it moving is to click under the writing at the bottom of your page.  Refreshing and Resetting does not correct this problem.

Where is your picture on that page??  I WANT TO HANG YOUR FUCK ASS ON THAT CROSS !!!!

Monicker Frost

Perhaps it's the browser?

I dunno. Just sayin.

Bob


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