Hate Mail

Mr. Nobody's Flickering Light
Part 2
How to Handle the Troll

(see left side bar for detailed instructions)

His letters are in yellow, whilst mine are in black & white.

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Dealing with your Personal Troll, Personally

After some inner debate I've decided to post the last few letters between Mr. Nobody & myself, if not for the simple purpose of showing others how to handle a troll.

Trolling's definition has only been widely understood by the public within the last decade or so, years after my site was first posted, which in itself was a lesser form a trolling.

Jesus Dressup trolled Christians, ie: it fished for a reaction, which I in turn would post as entertainment in my "Hate Mail". However it was more of a passive troll because I wasn't invading blogs & online communities to post the link for a response. That just happened by me putting it out there publicly for people to fall into on their own. It did however give me great insight on how to handle trolls, and pretty much snuff out their light between my fingers.

The technique is simple, but has to be handled delicately, and with a momentary shedding of ones pride. It's a process of gently, very subtly convincing them that you're submitting and want to be their penpal, because the one thing trolls don't have is friends. That's their weak spot. And playing to it is a graceful dance which can't be resisted by the lonely troll.

The key is to act as if you're impressed with their insight & cleverness in a believable way (without trace of sarcasm). Things like-
"What's funny is I wouldn't think you could tell all those things about me from a simple email exchange [reading my blog, my Facebook wall, seeing my picture, etc] but it's weird how you know these things." or,
• "Lots of those things you said I know are true, I just have trouble admitting to them. It's kind of embarrassing to think someone could figure all that stuff out like that."

Also include an apology of some sort, or an act of submission like,
"I actually didn't mean to come off that way. I apologize if I sounded defensive, or jerky, [use words they used here]. I'm really looking to change these things about me."

These are things a troll wants to hear so it's easily believed. Using their words also plays to their pride.

Then once you've got them, (and you'll know you've got them because they'll drop the persona to keep you as a submissive in hopes that you'll revel further in their glory), that's when you pull the rug out from under them and reject them on a personal level. It's harsh, but believe me, deserved. In some cases this process has been known to destroy the troll altogether.

When constructing your rejection letter it's really important that you don't sound angry or emotionally frazzled. Simply express sorrowful pity for the situation they've found themselves in.
And keep it short.

Then, and this is important, never respond to their emails again. Don't even open them. After you've tossed them aside and made it clear they've been completely rejected as a human being you'll find that they'll be stumbling over themselves like a broken winged crow to get you back in line. The emails that follow will be long & drawn out, one after the other sometimes just minutes apart, reeking of desperation. It's an extremely clumsy struggle, and a complete shunning is almost manditory from here on out.
However, if you absolutely cannot resist, a short but sweet "LOL!" (and nothing more) reply to their followups will do the trick every time. For some reason those three capitol letters are a nail in the coffin to a fumbling troll.

It may seem a little cruel at face value, and I promise you they will feel that rejection deeply, but it squashes their power and can dissuade them from future trollings.

“you're primitive... I'm not here to knock you down so I can take your spot as monkey king of circus park... You're not unique... Maybe your name should be Aspie Bob Smith.”

Yeah, see, you're primitive. Your response is defensiveness. That's only about emotion, and monkey posturing because you feel attacked.

I'm not an attacker. I find things interesting and may dissect them, which to you feels like attack. But the difference between a scientist and warrior is huge.

It's important to look at ourselves through constructively critical perspectives, otherwise you end up doing things like going to church each day, or spending your life stuck in concerns of a 12-year-old skater.

There's nothing to be threatened by. I'm not here to knock you down so I can take your spot as monkey king of circus park. It's just interesting, and we should share perspectives and information so we have opportunities to grow.

You definitely have some fetishization going on. You're concerned about fashion, and these primitive displays of identity and culture like peacocks and tribalists.

You're not unique in that, there's plenty of others like that. But your battle against Christians is really just more of the same tribalism. You're not about the truth and what's good for people, so much as you are about attacking their clan and promoting your own.

Like Shaggy hates posers, you hate Christians. It's fashionable, to wear those tattoos, and defile the image of Jesus. You're just doing it for motivations common in junior high social hierarchy.

How wonderful it'd be if you could recognize that and find paths that are more meaningful. You can still do similar things you enjoy, but if you were smarter about it you'd contribute more value.

That isn't insult, it's inspiration.

I asked you not to publicize my letter because I don't belong as part of your circus. I'm not one of the bums challenging your territory you need to stand up to. That stuff is really just silly. All involving others does is turn a private conversation into your monkey gang battles. I'm not Christian, I'm not Atheist, I'm not Griswold, Skater, Punk, or Poser. But someone stuck in primitive mind won't see that.

I don't have you figured out. You're behind the lens most of the time, so it's hard to get the observatory data necessary to see. I think it would be fascinating if your shy kind of thing had to do with autism. You've talked of the rubs guy being autistic, but that is just one extreme form. It could help explain, in the absence of trauma, why you didn't want to get married, and partly why you're obsessed with this. Being kind of freaky, artistic, atheist enjoying launching into monologues, categorizing everyone, very interested in watching others in detail, repeating the same routines, etc. Maybe your name should be Aspie Bob Smith.

Shaggy certainly is mentally impaired, but I read he used inhalants, so that may explain why. If he were around when Dusty and that other guy were huffing, he should've grabbed the can and threw it away. You should demote that behavior as well.

Maybe your next project can be about matching each character in your postcard to the type of help they need.
Mister Nobody

Did you even read my letter? I agreed with you on many of your statements, and the ones I didn't agree with I was very specific as to how they were inaccurate. I felt I explained myself thoroughly without putting you down. Are you unwilling to admit you're mistaken on occasion? I don't see any of that on your end. Lots of people have trouble with that. You don't have to be insecure about it. Everyone wants to be right all the time.

And I thought my observation as to how being ill absolutely affects one's outlook and opinions. I know that's true for me as well. If I have the flu everything that leaves my mouth sounds bitter, so I do my best to keep myself from the outside world until I'm well again. It seems like a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why all of your observations are unflattering and negative, and why you maybe can't help yourself from name-calling ("a bum at their level" and such). I'm perfectly willing to discuss my issues. My apologies if you took it as defensive.

I'm thinking that maybe it's because you're sick and stuck in bed that you're taking everything I say negatively, and resorting to more insults in this letter (monkey brains, "you're primitive," on and on with the monkey insults)? You don't know me personally so why would I take it personally?

I'm not sure, but how else am I suppose to look at you other than part of the circus? You said you watched all the videos, and you're diving right in with an extraordinary amount of opinions. You're clearly wanting to be part of the show. What's this, your 3rd long letter to me already? It's not something you should be defensive about. I'm part of the circus too. I mean, aren't we all in some way or another?

And just because I don't make videos of me helping them out doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Can you imagine how gloating it'd look if I filmed me taking them out for food, giving them help, money, etc? It's something I do without need for recognition.

Anyhow, my suggestion is to rewrite your observations after you're feeling better and thinking straight. I don't like to take advantage of people who're mentally impaired in some way or another.
Normal Bob

“I don't hesitate in using primitive language”

I read it, twice. I have fantasies that it's possible for minds to actually shift radical perspectives, and people grow into further progressed views. I'd like to believe that in your interest in watching people, and atheism, are sparks of your mind struggling to find its way out of the shackles that church culture creates. They deprive growing brains, stunting mental development, and for some, atheism is part of a long difficult struggle for the brain to reform, and find its way out.

I don't hesitate in using primitive language, that ordinarily is only about hierarchy, because hidden in there is a secret I want to be discovered. There's a whole other way of thinking, where those things lose meaning and become beneath you.

Much of your documentation is highlighting primitivity. There is a natural default order and behavior that arises, which I'd assume is very similar to how it was for early humans. Just look at photographs of tribal girls far away from influence of modern society, and see how their fashion resembles things like "punk". Just look at the accounts of visitors, how they might upset a dominant member of the tribe, and have to deal with something like Signs getting up in your face.

These are humans closer to their natural animal form. We get a base enjoyment and response to seeing this kind of thing, but beyond that, I soak this kind of data up not for entertainment, but more to further master an understanding of our nature. That makes it easier to clearly understand where the animal is, so that one may transcend it as much as possible today.

As a random voyeur, I can't help but see you as part of primitivity, while simultaneously showing hints of higher mind struggling to find itself, and want to see you progress.

From that perspective, this is condescending, and offensive. But once someone breaks out of that primitive view, those things no longer exist. I feel very little when I refer to monkeys and retards, and although your reply had plenty of jabs at me, it isn't just something I say, it truly just isn't relevant. That is so liberating. Those wars between humans are just shit-flinging remnants of our primal past.

We can't escape that completely, but we can find so much more useful views today, that do a fairly good job of giving us a framework to progress.

I see your projects as part of your self-discovery. I see someone searching for something. You don't need to try to pretend you're done, because what I respect is when that journey never ends. We never find the answers, always keep searching. So when I describe things, I'm caring about the valuable information for understanding, and the implications in social order have no significance. If someone can't see that, they hop around like an angry gorilla, which harms me none online. But if they get it, then info is shared that helps us escape that old world.

Religion is part of that. But atheism tends to be a primitive reaction against that, still mostly coming from the same monkey world. The next step is understanding how religion works, and why it evolved. Then you see it for what it is, as a scientist, and it's no longer offensive.

We should all promote growth whenever we can, because primitivity often leads to hell. You don't need to believe in bibles to recognize that what we do on Earth can transform our experience into burning painful hell, or something healthier, and easier, like floating on a cloud.

You're kind of like the devil man, showcasing these people from hell. Many of their lives look very painful, where simple things like chewing food and sleeping safely are luxuries. But your fight isn't against heaven I don't believe, so if you can sort out this tangled puzzle, you are in a position to be more like a christ.

I'm not just sick, I'm infected with something nasty that does penetrate the brain. I fear losing mental abilities, and I'm sure being this ill affects my writing and behavior. But I think this is close enough to my norm to not blame the bug. I'm a freak, but of a different kind. I don't belong in a circus, but I don't belong in normal society either, which leaves me isolated. This can be difficult, but not being in NYC or any big city puts me into a different frame of reference where it's so much easier to be unaffected by all that.

While it may feel fulfilling sometimes, living there and being in the middle of all that intensity has a profound effect on influencing your thoughts, as it would for anyone. It looks like you've been working on this for a long time, and maybe soon you will get away for a while to reflect and figure out what you've learned.

Or maybe you're stuck. It happens.
Mister Nobody

I guess the truth is that I find it impossible to care about what a stranger who's never met me thinks of me or what I do. I discuss all of these things daily with friends and family, and am always searching within myself, but when it comes to someone so far removed from my life, your observations cover territory I already go over with people who are more informed. 90% of this conversation would have to be getting you up to speed.

If your emails weren't so depressing you might have held my attention, but what you call "primitive language" I just see it as pomposity & trolling.

My apologies. I hope you understand, and I also expect to get another grand lecture about how superior you are and what a monkey-king I'm attempting to be. So I'll be anxiously awaiting that, you betcha.

Get well soon.
Normal Bob

Three extrememly long replies were sent from Mr. Nobody within 24hrs after this rejection letter. As instructed in the left sidebar of this page I didn't read them & responded, "LOL!"

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