The Mike O'Connor files
This is a person who had emailed me many months ago.
The following however, are from this last week.
I'm not sure what more to say.

His letters are in blue and mine are in black and white.

Oh Christ,
it's Christmas time.

It is that time once again to remember the true meaning of this holiday.

It is the time of year when we bow down to Hollywood Jesus (Santa Claus), being sure to strip away any religious meaning that would only get in the way of good cheer.

Magic moments for children, paid vacation for adults. Time again for suicide stats to rise and snow to fall. Family reunions up. Goth down.

It is that time of year when you can not escape the "Charlie Brown Christmas" soundtrack even if you spend December at the bottom of a well with your fingers in your ears screaming until blood comes out of your nose.

So how exactly does an atheist celebrate Christmas? I'm going to take this opportunity to speak for all atheists out there and make the blanket statement that we all praise Santa. It is the only time of year when God relinquishes full control over planet Earth to somebody else.

All of the angels in Heaven step aside for the reindeer and elves. From the day after Thanksgiving to New Years eve, all power over every dominion is directed from the North Pole.

This is what atheists believe.
Every godamned one of them!


To all of you
that care.

Nothing would make me happier than to have a wonderful collection of festive fan pictures to display come Christmas.

Email me your holiday spirited pictures for posting on the upcoming Christmas Fan Mail Page. All entries must be received before December 22nd, 2001 and fame, links, & good fortune will be yours.

The person with the best picture (of my choosing) will win an all expense paid chat with me, Normal Bob Smith, in the new Chat Room!

How can you resist?

Enter today!
"I don't mind looking a fool..."

Hey Bob,

I don't mind looking a fool for the things that I have sent to you, in fact I appreciate the fact that you have posted my ridiculous attempts at hate mail on your web site. I only just recently visited your page for the first time since I sent those e-mails to you.

But, could you please remove the bottom most piece of hate mail which has my name and address attached to it as I did not send this to you. I have never been a Christian and would never promote that kind of stupidity. In fact I seem to recall letting you know of my admiration for you and your work in my final e-mail to you and explaining that the only reason for the hate mail was to get a response from you.

On second thoughts, anybody who knows me who actually saw that post with my name and e-mail address on it and believed that it was me who had sent it to you would find it highly amusing, knowing the context of who I am. Why would I care what my name is attached to on some strange web site anyway, it dawns upon me that I have already invested too much of my precious little mental energy here.

Sorry for wasting your time.

Did you know that my girlfriend is one of your superbabes from outer space? Just ask them.

I don't know why I'm sending this even now as I have totally contradicted myself and made no point whatsoever. I guess I just need your attention to feel as though yada yada yada yada more pointless crap about nothing.....

It is true that my girlfriend is one of your superbabes from outer space though.

Your friend
Mike O'Connor

Apologies for any speling and gramatical errors which will annoy you as you are obviously my superior in every way for having a finer command of the language than I.


"I just want to know where you are coming from, why do you do what you do?"

Sure there are many ridiculous things to mock within the Christian faith, basically the entire premise of the religion is flawed.

But why, Bob, why? What satisfaction do you get from your site?

You amuse and entertain those with similar views to yours and outrage and disgust those with differing views to yours. As much as I am opposed to the stupidity of Christianity, I am tired of pointless smart alec style critiques of Christianity which only really function to preach to the (un)converted.

Your anti-Christian rhetoric is as old and predictable as the pathetic pro-Christian rhetoric you mock. Mocking God and the traditions of the churches which operate in His name has been done over and over again, it is the oldest and easiest form of 'Shock Value' entertainment to engage in. You can't possibly hope to cover any kind of new ground, it has all been said and done before.

You also seem to have adopted the kind of superiority complex and "I know something you don't know" attitude held by many of those you mock.

Is it all for the sake of comedy? Your concepts are tired but you do have quite a witty way of expressing them, though not (in my view) witty enough to revive a stale concept as old as Christianity itself.

I just want to know where you are coming from, why do you do what you do?

Mike O'Connor


As I reread your past emails to me, I am reminded of how little you know about what's original or funny. I've seen your "comedy", I've seen you stand for nothing, I've even seen you lie. If I ever found out who you were dating I'd advise that person to open her eyes.

Adopting a superiority complex is all part of defending what you believe (something you don't understand or appreciate). I am willing to acknowledge my flaws. I am not beautiful looking, I am self-centered, I fight being a pervert, I am forgetful and I will never have muscles... ever. But I know what is funny and entertaining. I know that I have had my moments of being clever. And I know Jesus Dress Up is fun, funny and clever. This is why I defend it so.

That, Mike, is why I am doing what I am doing, defending my ideas and beliefs. I find it a very worthwhile pastime. I believe in the art/concepts I create and I will defend them vigorously. I enjoy defending them! I think that shows and I know it's entertaining.

Mike, it is so dull to stand for nothing with opinions that go nowhere. I yawn more during your letters than anyone else's I've posted. The only belief you seem true to is something personal against me. Why you continue to return to me is a mystery. Everything else you seem to be on the fence about. This is why I ask, where are you coming from? Why do you do what you do?

Bob

Don't worry, at your request I will no longer attach your email address to the things that you say.


"When did I lie?"

I have no answer.
I do have another question though.
When did I lie?

Mike O'Connor


Mike O'Connor
Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 05:06:05

"...my (Mike O'Connor) admiration for you (Normal Bob Smith) and your work..."

Mike O'Connor
Date: Fri, 15 Jun 2001 05:37:37

"You and your web site both suck. I hate guys like you."

Mike O'Connor
Date: Fri, 23 Nov 2001 05:06:05

"...the only reason for the hate mail was to get a response from you."

These are just off the top of my head.
I removed the letter off of page 31 at your request.


"I am sorry that I lied to you."

I am sorry that I lied to you. Thank you for removing that letter.

It should be obvious to you by now that I am socially retarded. I don't know what my problem is. I saw your site and liked it somewhat, disliked it somewhat too so I thought I'd try to interact with you in my typically retarded style.

I do know something about what it means to create and to believe in that which you create. I do it all of the time. I'm sorry too that I attacked something which you have created and obviously feel strongly about.

Most of all I feel as though I have wasted your time with a series of pointless, meaningless and essentially unnecessary e-mails. Maybe the idea was to challenge you somehow, obviously a task I am not up to.

Thanks for your time, responses and web site, in the end, like it or hate it, it is one of the more thought provoking works of art I've seen on the internet.

Mike O'Connor


"You have caused me to seriously examine and attempt to understand my own behavior..."

Dear Bob

You have caused me to seriously examine and attempt to understand my own behavior, which is perhaps the most valid and important impact that any kind of artist can ever hope to make. I mean, what exactly was I hoping to achieve by sending you those ridiculous e-mails? I honestly couldn't answer the question you threw back at me (where am I coming from? why do I do what I do?) and that is quite troubling, wouldn't you say?

Yours sincerely
Mike O'Connor

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