Wacky Hate Letters
What more could you ask for?

Their letters are in blue and mine are in black and white.

Okay, where to start. LOVED Jesus dress up, had hours of fun dressing him up and offending my friends. Hate mail? I haven't laughed this hard over such irreverence since I saw Monty Python's Life of Brian. Thank you for giving me hours of enjoyment. I wanted to ask all these silly christians a couple burning questions though.

1) Why did a perfect god make us all sinners? makes no sense
2) Hmm how come someone had to "die" for our sins? I mean come on?? A little meat on Friday and someone's gotta hang for it? In the old testament god was vengeful and he took our sins out on us. But then the SOB killed his own son, to make us feel guilty for being the way he made us, and said we were forgiven. *BOGGLE* again makes no sense.

Well, anyway, just wanted to write a quick thank you. THANK YOU!

p.s. Attaching a picture for your amusement.

The Bob of Normals. I really like your ate the fuck up site, it's quality shit. And the ol' Jesus Dress Up pissed off quite a few of my friends (which is always good). Maybe you should have a section where we the fans send in different photos of ourselves bashing our faces all over the computer keyboards, drooling saliva and electrocuting our circuits of enlightment. That would be a definite plus. Also, maybe a page on individuals who lose important sentimental things in large piles of decaying raccoons mixed with dead hooker gravy and buttermilk. That would be a helpful section for us clumsy types. Brother, I'd like nothing more than to write to you for 47 hours, but I have a deer in the oven.

Darrick Patrick
Cannibal Holokaust


Subject: Shit mother Fucker! Read this, your page is shit!!!!!!!!



Cloud the Ninja? Are you the ninja or do you defeat ninjas (by clouding their thoughts or something)? Oh wait, you signed off "CLOUD"! People refer to you as Cloud... which makes YOU the ninja!

Was this line of attack taught to you in your ninja training? What comes after a complaint letter? Do you double up on exclamation points next? Or is that when you get right to the ass fucking?

" Are you a taliban."

Wed, 9 Jan 2002 20:10:31
What is the point of your site? Are you a taliban. Is your name Osama Bin Laden? You want me to send you $1 to say "thank you bob." I didn't capitalize your name because I think you are a BITCH!!! In case you don't know what a bitch is, it is an insult to people like you. Jesus is not a doll. I bet you play with dolls. Do you screw them? You should put up a picture of yourself in your site. Let people make you look like a loser.

Oh &n

"You are very normal. SHUT IT DOWN!!!"

Thu, 10 Jan 2002 15:34:58 EST
Why is Jesus Dress Up still on the web, Huh? Tell me Normal Bob Smith. You are very normal. SHUT IT DOWN!!!

Oh &n

"So if you are normal, you will shut your site down. NOW!!!"

Thu, 10 Jan 2002 15:38:20 EST
Shut Down The Site!!! You are normal, right? Oh, your e-mail adres is jesusdressup@normalbobsmith. So if you are normal, you will shut your site down. NOW!!!

Oh &n

I have to admit, I'll be sad when these sorts of letters stop coming in. I know that Jesus Dress Up is going to get old sometime soon. That's just how things go. It'll run its course and people will just get used to it. Then I'll have to get by on talent alone. I'll have to start "earning" the attention the old fashioned way (posing nude). But for now, even a year and a half later, people still care enough to tell me how little they care about me. God bless 'em.

So Munchkin Pancha, you hold onto that dollar. You keep it as a souvenir of how much your opinion is worth... because this one's on me.

"I think you get rid of the 'Baby Fucking'..."

I think you get rid of the 'Baby Fucking' part of the face explanation on the page.
It's unnecessary and absolutely sick, I don't need to hear that shit and I don't think anyone else wants to either. Find something else to say, no Baby Fucking, that's just sick shit.


You can't tell me what god to worship!! And Jesus Dress Up doesn't hurt anybody! So you can go stick a...

Oh, hold on a second. This isn't what I thought it was. Let me see... too much with the "baby fucking" ya think? Of course it's sick and unnecessary. Probably the most despicable act that humanity could inflict onto itself. That's why it fits in so hilariously under the "Touchy subject" category. There is no other subject that'd be more "touchy"... and THEN I refer to it as "baby fucking"! Don't you get it?
There ya go.

Hey, thank you! Addressing my flippant "baby fucking" remark was a breath of fresh air and really put a spring in my step this today.