Sometimes this section shouldn't be called “Hate Mail”.
“Trying to be Clever Mail”
seems more appropriate.

Their emails are in blue, mine are in black and white. Enjoy!

It amazes me how my yearning to write comes so consistently with nice weather. It's the first 70+ degree day here and my mind has switched over. Taxes are complete, all my windows are open and everyone's wearing less clothes. How could I keep from smiling?

I am also very pleased with how The Normal Bob Smith Group is coming along.

With more than 90 members, the message boards are filled with interesting personal information and ideas, cool links & photos are being uploaded, and the chat room is active on a regular basis. The ability to see when members are on-line has been keeping everything alive.

More than half of the Super Chics have graced my group! I mean, where else are you going to find this much excitement?!

Last but not least, members are uploading interesting photos and profiles that'd entertain even the most nonparticipatory member. Take a look...

Aspen Matthews
Age: 19

More About Me Hobbies: fucking and drinking...
Latest News: look at my drunken picture...
Favorite Quote: "Slap my ass and call me naughty..."

Name: Stephen S. Trick
Occupation: Ninja
Hobbies: Don't start.

Name: Dyesheeky Shlinky
Occupation: Dealing with society!

Hobbies: Being fully aware of where I'm at and knowing that time doesn't really exsist and my car is my anti-suicide

Name: Samantha
Occupation: Artist/ Secretary/ Secret Agent (shhh!)

Latest News: still working... still painting... still dancing. wearing my purple wig out makes me feel like a german domme. flashing eyes at boys.

Miss Messy Stench

Hobbies: copulating with children... peeing on feet... goats and velveeta... random toilet molestation excursions. Latest News: my pen!s fell off the other day.

Name: B. L. Seabub
Location: London
Marital Status: Widower
Occupation: Funeral Director

Hobbies: The beautiful First World War.
Favorite Quote: "No! Please no! Arrgghh! No! It hurts! (With lots of sobbing and crying)"

...and that's only the beginning
The Normal Bob Smith Group

He really does LOVE you. I hope you can eventually accept that.

Dear Bob,

You evidently don't know who Jesus really is. I pray that you DO come to know Him and that you life is changed by His love for you. He really does LOVE you. I hope you can eventually accept that.

Shaun Kunz

You're praying that I'll accept the love of a nonexistent entity? Do you honestly think I'm refusing love here? You know, how you perceive others exposes your own thought process Shaun.

Read this very carefully: First He must be real, then comes the love. Simply because you want love doesn't make Him real. You're driving with your eyes closed and looking for hitchhikers. That's bad.


“Defend yourself by all mean, just don't play with them. Its not a win situation. There is just too many of them and just too few of us.

Why be so arrogant? I'm an atheist and I don't look for arguments from Theists unless they try to convert me. if they try to convert me then there is a problem! I'm who I am and I don't do stupidity!

If theists want to be stupid and believe in nothing, what can you do? Let them be. If they want to hear your view then they'll listen if not, its their problem. Why mock them? Defend yourself by all mean, just don't play with them. Its not a win situation. There is just too many of them and just too few of us.

Remember! There are lots of religious zealots looking for a cause. Maybe your it.

Peter Maurice Cram

I'd like to know why you think I'm looking for arguments and not simply speaking (and illustrating) my mind, then addressing the feedback as it comes. You aren't suggesting that I keep my thoughts to myself, share them only with those who specifically ask and withdraw them if someone's offended are you?!?

I agree that sometimes I'm a bit naughty, but there's a lot that can be learned when the true reality of someone's ignorance, arrogance and/or stupidity is completely exposed. Why people believe explains what they believe... and I don't mind being their cause. Keeps me from watchin' so much TV.

“I withdraw my complaint.

Bob, I meant no offence! It just seemed to me (at the time) that you were being to harsh to the fools. Things HAVE changed! I told you I tend to avoid arguments with theists, but you can't avoid them for ever. What a load of crap they come up with! I withdraw my complaint. Do what you must; they really deserve it. In fact, their asking for it!

Peter Maurice Cram

Some will come to see your site simply because of all those "pass it on to everyone you know" messages. Some folks will read the hate mail, and get input from other Christians, and come to there own conclusions.

Hey Bob,

First off, I'm a Christian. Your site? LOL you PROMOTE Christ and you don't even know it! You are making a lot of people THINK about Christ, and the crucifixion! KUDOS!! Some will come to see your site simply because of all those "pass it on to everyone you know" messages. Some folks will read the hate mail, and get input from other Christians, and come to there own conclusions.

oh, by the way? ...You like to point out grammatical errors, so let ME point out that you need to check your scripture quotes, you are in error more often than not. But keep up the good work! You ARE getting the word out! (this is scriptural! see if you can find it!)

in Christian love,
in Jesus' name,
Bill V.

Oh God no! Say it isn't so Bill! The last thing I want is people coming to their own conclusions! This foils my whole diabolical scheme to eliminate choice! And now you've conquered my fortress of evil with reverse psychology. I should have never made an opposing view available. What was I thinking?!

Oh by the way, you misspelled "their"... and I bet you can't find even one Bible misquote on my site.

Filled with hatred,

I'm into spirituality.”

Come on Bob, my mail wasn't an attack, and it's not "reverse psycology" reply was in accordance with scripture. First of all, I have no malice towards you, we all have freedom of choice.

As a matter of fact, I take issue with Christians who try to force-feed "religion", that is NOT what God intended. Plus, your site is humorous, God has a sense of humor.

In the new testament, the apostle Paul is asked by someone, what to do about those who are saying bad things about Jesus and the church. He replies (paraphrased) that nothing should be done, because they are spreading the word anyway, people were hearing the name Jesus.

As far as your mistakes re: scripture....come on Bob! If you are gonna quote, do a little research! Accuracy promotes credibility!

Dude I was born and raised a Roman catholic, the catholic church is pretty messed up in their interpretations of the bible. So I can understand how some people believe "religion" is bad. I'm not into religion, I'm into spirituality. You, and anyone else should believe what your heart leads you to believe, after all, each of us will eventually face the consequences of what we believe. (don't read that as fire and brimstone) What I'm saying is, "to thine own self be true" as far as your beliefs. We'll know if we believed the right thing one day!

"I bet you can't find even one Bible misquote on my site. " You wrote that, I'll take that bet, what would you like to wager? I say I can find SEVERAL.

filled with LOVE,
Bill V.

Bill, if I looked at letters like yours as "attacks", my site wouldn't be so mind numbingly hilarious (is that how you put it?). I approach each of these emails as an open opportunity for comedy (as my letter to you clearly reflected).

I'm not trying to defend my beliefs as much as I'm looking to entertain and share personal experiences. I am most certainly not trying to convert you or anyone else. I appreciate that you are better off having a god to believe in and an everlasting paradise to look forward to. I've got nothing so glamorous to promise.

I am fully aware of how I am regarded by a large number of religious/spiritual. I understand that I am not looked at as the enemy. I'm simply lost having been misguided by the Devil.

When somebody emails me having this perception about me (as you have), and they think that the spectacular promise of Heaven obtained through the son of a supreme being in another dimension is a reasonable suggestion (once again, like you)... well, it's the starting point for great comedy. Comedy, as you've stated, even your god can appreciate.

Something else I've witnessed is that a majority, if not all people who've emailed me their form of disapproval also have a sad eye for what's funny. I'm anticipating the "misquotes" you've come across to be part of a larger, more complicated brand of humor you weren't able to recognize. Some of the red flags you yourself have raised... well first how unfunny your emails have been. Other signs of your funnilessness are your passion for Bible quotes, use of the Bill & Ted catch phrase "dude", and signing off "filled with love". I've never heard that uttered after any good comedy... ever! I was waiting for you to state; "I love to laugh". That'd've been the clincher.

Either way, I'm happy to explain my joke or admit I'm wrong (something I think I've yet to do).

Once again, you've misspelled "psycology" Oh god, and another quote from you; "I'm into spirituality". Bill, I hope you can sympathize with my hesitation to involve myself in a wager with you.

OK, let me have it.
The Bill V. Files Continued...
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