Get
the fuck out of the suburbs!

People invented
them to escape the city!
There's
a world out there where people speak, look and act differently
than you... and it's cool! 
PANIC!
Throw everything you're doing down on the ground! Give your driveway
the middle finger!

There's
life outside of Oakdale! You should be terrified of your suburb!
People die there! It's not worth the lower rent! You don't need
a lawn that badly! Who cares about extra cabinet space! There's
stuff to do within walking distance... after 9 PM! Television
isn't the only option!
The
phrase "nice hair" won't be sarcastic anymore! "Hat" won't automatically
mean "baseball cap"!
Run
as fast as you can with your arms extended forward! Every day
won't blend into the next!
There's
a world out there where people behave as they wish, believe what
they want to believe and do things you never thought of doing,
and the people you once knew will tell you to fear it! You'll
learn how to parallel park! The different colors of skin won't
be a novelty!

I
saw Nina Hagan there!
You'll
out number them! You'll find out stuff that other people do not!
You'll hear new ideas! There really is a thing out there called
"inspiration"!
You'll
never have to step inside another mall again! You won't get fatter!
The people you went to school with will be farther away!
Those
people will still be there when you come back to visit.

My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.