I can run but I can not hide.
Still more hate mail... and some jokes for the little children.

Their emails are in blue & mine are in black and white.

I'm not one who can usually get sucked into any piece of propaganda handed to me off the street, but recently I was given a pamphlet so devious in its meathods that even I nearly got suckered into believing again.

At first glance it looked to be a harmless/hilarious booklet of wacky, screwball jokes... BUT WATCH OUT! This "joke book" attempts to drag the reader into the very depths of hopelessness and despair, then when you are at your weakest it springs forth with a cunning glimmer of hope in the very last panel. DO NOT READ THIS PANEL! It is a holy chant used by the followers of Christ that'll forever sell your soul to their God.
You've been warned...

Do you know when you're telling a really funny story to your friends, and it involves hand gestures, sound effects and props. You're laughing out loud while you tell it, then right at the climax when everyone is laughing anticipating the punchline you find out that you've just insulted the dead mother of one of the friends?

That's the moment this booklet uses to tell children how much they suck.

“I will have a petition signed and sent to The President to have you shut down.”

To whom it may concern,

I must tell you that your site is merely mocking Jesus Christ. If you are A Christian this is a true Act of Mormonism. I wish that you discontinue your site know or I will have a petition signed and sent to The President to have you shut down. This is your last chance to cease and desist.

Thank you
Jeremy Zeller
jzhockey@journalist.com
P.S. God Looks down on you and frowns.


Jeremy,

I hope that I've reached you in time. You haven't sent that letter yet have you?

There's no reason for this matter to be taken to the highest court in the nation. Do you realize that you wouldn't just be putting my web page at risk but I could actually get kicked out of the country. Then I'd probably lose my job too.

If you can assure me that you didn't contact The President yet I'd be willing to negotiate some sort of compromise with you.

Please reply back to me as soon as you can. I've been freakin' out about this.

Bob


“I am going to have to write a petition for you to seise and desist.”

Sarcasm is not appreciated. I am going to have to write a petition for you to seise and desist.

Jeremy Zeller
jzhockey@journalist.com


Someone has already beat you to it Jeremy: BanJesusDressUp


This message was sent to me 406 times on the 5th of December 2002
“You will be out of buisness within a week.”

Subject: The Petition has been Sent

You will be out of buisness within a week.

Jeremy Zeller
jzhockey@journalist.com


Wow, a week! That means I'll be out of business by December 12th 2002!

I'm really going to miss this site. I sure hope you don't have the same pull with the fridge magnet manufacturers.


“When I first heard from you, You seemed to soud pretty smart”

Bob,

When I first heard from you, You seemed to soud pretty smart. Know, either you have lost your cleverness or you took stupid pills or something. You should take an IQ test. See how you do. I wouldn't trust you to build my page if you can't even build your own. you should visit my page some time to show you how real pages are built.

P.S. Smart pills are at GNC and 'Do' Take the red one.

Jeremy Zeller
jzhockey@journalist.com


So tomorrow's the big day.

It's hard to believe that after more than 2 years it all is going to be gone come Thursday.

With the site no longer a part of my life I'll have a lot more time on my hands. I was thinkin' of maybe exploring the Word of God a little further. Really putting forth the effort to discover who God really is and what His love means for me.

Come to think of it, when I wake up tomorrow and see that NormalBobSmith.com and JesusdDressUp.com no longer exist I just may say that first prayer asking God if He can hear me and is ready to accept a sinner like me into His arms.

After all is said and done Jeremy, tomorrow looks to be a pretty huge day for me. A day of conversion, reflection, repentance and redemption. A turn towards that road less traveled.

I know that it'll be the blow of not being able to reach the URL that'll set this all into motion. I'll let you know what happens.

Bob


“You're a Jerk. ”

You're a Jerk. P.s. Please do. Being Christmas, Read Luke First, then Romans, then Read Revelations. Have a nice day!

Jeremy Zeller
jzhockey@journalist.com


Jeremy, I woke up this morning and I couldn't believe my eyes! My website still popped up on my computer as it always had! I was floored!

I scrambled around my room searching through papers, knocking over lamps and rubbing my eyes but nothing had changed. Nothing! My site was still there! My life was still my own!

It's a sign Jeremy. It's a sign from God telling me to continue on this path of evil because He does not exist. Yes, that's what this is. God's approval.

I'm doubling my efforts now Jeremy, and I'm doing it for God.

Hey, you should send me a link to your site.

“think about it!!!!”

hey dude!! that is a not a good thing to do!!!! think about it!!!!

Edward
Edward1971@aol.com


WHOOPS! Oh my god! How long has this thing been on-line?!?

“your site is very poor and without imagination, sorry.”

Hello, god bless you...
but, your site is very poor and without imagination, sorry.

Elizeu B.Nascimento
Enascimento@oglobo.com.br


All right, I suppose that I'll accept your apology. But still, why have you said such hurtful things?

Now I am sad and confused.
Bob

“if you dont repent for mocking God your going to burn in hell forever.”

Hello i just wanted to remind you that you better remember to bring your shorts and sandals because if you dont repent for mocking God your going to burn in hell forever.

Just wanted to warn you
Steve
Steve@timberlakegroup.com


Well Mr. Lindsey,

You'd better not forget to bring along your halo-polish and wing comb because up in Heaven God runs a pretty tight ship.

Just a reminder to you.
Bob


“Love with all my heart”

Well sir im sorry to have to tell you this but up in heaven the angels serve us. So i guess i wouldnt be in need of halo polish and combs would I. Good job trying to come up with a comback though im still prayin for you sir.

Love with all my heart
Steve
Steve@timberlakegroup.com
Psalms 53:1-3


I swear to you, no one ever clued me into the whole angel-servants aspect of Heaven. That sounds totally rad!

Don't stop prayin'for me Steve. I wanna get me some of that!

Bob

“Keyword "convince".”

Hi Bob,
I copied this text off your website "hate mail". I was just checking to see if my last email got published. I saw this and was compelled to comment. You had responded.........

"The biggest mistake that Christians make when attempting to convince others what they say is true is assuming belief. You assume that the person believes God exists. It's an annoying personality trait (assuming belief, then correcting) and unfortunately this trait ruins many lines of communication you hope to establish leaving you responsible for yet another perishing ghost in the devil's caldron of pain."

My comment Keyword "convince". Maybe you and some others missed a key point. It isn't up to christians to convince anyone of anything. That work is left to the Holy spirit. Christians are responsible for being obedient to God (prayer, bible study, worship, witness, christlikeness). I'll be the first to admit that christians are not always Christlike. Until the day of redemption (Christ's return, rapture, before the second coming), we will always be striving for christlikeness. Hopefully, we'll be growing, but while we're in this earthly body, we are going to fall short of our eventual perfection in Christ. When we are obedient, we leave the consequences to the Lord.

Brian Porter


Brian,

If you don't think that Mr. Britz and other believers are trying to convince me that what I believe is incorrect than the keyword I've got for you is "buttmunch".

From there you can relay my message to this Holy Spirit you speak of whilst you and other Christ-wannabes fall short of perfection in the areas of observational skills and point making.

Bob

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