down deep in the center of the
Earth is a place called HELL.
very, very hot, mostly cobblestone and brick with your basic "evil"
motif, highlighted with varying degrees red and dark orange
©2001 Normal Bob Smith.
a place filled with heavy metalers, primitive, uncivilized, tribal
sorts and yuppies. This is where God will send you if you cannot
believe his outrageous stories from the Bible.
is here that the Devil is King, crowned and employed by God himself.
would God do such a thing?
the type to get his hands dirty, and dealing with nonbelievers is
dirty work indeed. They don't bathe regularly, they're ridden with
numerous sexually transmitted diseases and you wouldn't believe
the foul language!
God found himself a scrub.
demoting one of his expendable angels, the "Big Guy" found
himself, what seems to be, the most gullible of suckers I've ever
only that, but God has been able to point the finger of blame at
him for every sin ever committed.
idiot gets drunk and runs over a baby carriage, it's the Devil's
13 year old boy fantasizes about Britney Spears in bra-too-small...
hey, the Devil did it!
sick bastard makes a web
page depicting the Son of God on the cross so that he can be dressed
in a variety of colorful outfits thanks to the latest technology
in web development,
yep, that's right,
where's Captain Evil!
wouldn't you know it, it's God's "pretty boy" son who's
been brought on board to fix the mess.
had bosses like this and when the son is employed be prepared to
watch the whole business go to hell... literally. And
this is where we end up. One guy gets made an example of so the
Son can be "Messiah".
know I betcha if the devil and God had met under better circumstances
they'd have been best of friends... if they existed.
prayed for you before I sent this."
you have created for amusement represents a human being who
lived on this earth, was torchered and beaten, and was then
hung to die on a cross for proclaiming to be the King of the
Jews. I suppose you would have been among those who laughed
and scorned him while he hung on that cross about 2000 years
ago. Regardless of what your personal beliefs are, isn't it
a terrible shame that after all of our education and claims
of being unbiased or prejudice we would still do to Jesus
what the masses did long ago. I must also suppose that you
would be willing to do the same, if a similar prophet arose
from our midst. My heart is heavy for you, and I prayed for
you before I sent this.
Grace and Peace to You,
I am still
consistently baffled at the simplicity at which man's brain operates.
I'm picturing a grown man kneeling down next to his computer whispering
Jesus, it's me Patrick, email@example.com. Do you remember
2000 years ago when those Romans nailed you to that cross? Well,
there are a lot of us who still believe that you were God and, anyway,
there's this thing called the Internet, it's really hard for me
to explain it right now but this guy who goes by Normal Bob Smith
made this web page that's evil. It shows you on the cross there
and people visit the web page on their PC's and dress you up in
contemporary styles of clothing. There's even a pair of devil pajamas!
Please forgive Mr. Normal for not believing in you and for uploading
the Java script that enables the HTML to do such a thing. Amen
PS If you give me a sign I'll email him again."
OK, I realize
that this probably isn't what you prayed but it's the sort of kooky
thing that I imagine you people doing when no one else will listen.
remember that Hell is forever"
got issues man!
remember that Hell is forever, and without accepting Jesus
Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour, you gonna burn....
a nice eternity....
Hell is forever!?! This guy told me that it was like 8 to 10 weeks
and then it was onto the pearly gates! Fuck, forever... jeez!
suppose that it's just a figure of speech? Like "Wow, we've
been waiting in this line forever!" forever?
you're like the 3rd person to to tell me this and I'm really taking
into consideration believing all that bible stuff. This "eternity"
thing really blindsided me this morning.
Thanks for the warning!
the joke is on YOU....."
the joke is on YOU.....
you're gone to hell, there'll be no more fun and games..."
you have some FUCKING bad taste "Bob". You should really use
your time in life more wisely, because when you're gone to
hell, there'll be no more fun and games anymore.
that I'd made myself clear. I've covered all of my bases.
Not only am I doing all of these web pages under an alias but I've
also got a story all laid out. Listen to this...
a picture of Jesus Christ!
It's a drawing of a fictional character named Jesus (hay-suse) Thomas
whose buddies hung him on a giant lower case letter "t"
as a prank or something. Anyway, I'll have the story all worked
out by the time I die, and it'll be just a big misunderstanding!
been planning ahead on what I'm going to do when I get to heaven.
Here's a hint: Wet T-shirt Island. And I know who'll be standing
in line waiting to get in. I'm looking in your direction Ryan.
has many names such as Gopala, Govinda, Rama, Hari, Gauranga,
Krishna, Allah, Yaweh, Tao, Yahova...Bhakti which means
love for God..."
lost soul....even being aware that your God's child & confused...you
need help...you're very offensive...your in the mode of ignorance...you
will suffer for this...as you are already from other activities
& you don't even know it...this is very disturbing...can't
you see that...do something for the Lord, not against Him...your
karma will catch up with you... God has many names such as
Gopala, Govinda, Rama, Hari, Gauranga, Krishna, Allah, Yaweh,
Tao, Yahova...100's & millions of names...but there's one
God...the only time God will turn His back on you is if you
blaspheme His devotee...Jesus is God's best son & devotee...we
should all act like Him...He taught Bhakti which means love
for God...He taught to do God's will not you own...may you
please remove this site...Please do it for one of your spiritual
masters Jesus; & God, you, me & others...
if you were trying to impress me, mission accomplished.
very, very smart. I can tell because you know so many big, trivial
words that I haven't heard of before. Somehow you've also nailed
that "bad things have happened in my life" thing. How
did you know that?!? Is that really God fuckin' with me?
wasn't even aware that I was confused until you told me so. I thought
that I was pretty set in my beliefs (what with all the proof that
I've based them on). But this is quite possibly one of the most
intelligent emails I've ever gotten.
I mention how impressed I was?