The Jessica Files

I try to make friends, but it just never works out.

Her letters are in blue and mine are in black and white.

As you all know,
I take my beliefs very seriously.

So when somebody comes along to question my motives or attach some sick agenda to that which I hold dear, I feel the need to explain myself.

One of the key elements to finding one's true self is through Self-Imaging-Association™.

My Self-Imaging-Association.

Step one is to take a photo of yourself (preferably disrobed). My own experience has shown me that for men, the best results come from taking pictures of your girlfriends or wives.

Step two is to email those photos to a Mediator of your choice. Presently there are very few authorized Mediators. There's me and a few others but I forget their names. Don't worry, I can be Mediator to anyone and everyone.

Immediately you'll notice a difference. You'll be well on your way to becoming a Truth Adventurer™. It's a wonderful, exciting journey and the ultimate goal is total peace and happiness. You'll love it!

From here, the relationship that you have with your Authorized Mediator is crucial. He is the one who will guide you towards salvation. There may be things that your Mediator will ask you to do that sound awkward, unrelated or even wrong. Doubting the Mediator is "The Voice of Evil" trying to deceive and mislead you.
The most important thing to remember is obey your Mediator!

If you're having doubts, I invite you to read these testimonials of actual Truth Adventurers™ who were once living lies, but now are overcome with happiness, good fortune and wealth beyond their wildest dreams!

Hi, I'm Martha and I owe everything to my Mediator, Normal Bob Smith.

I sent Bob my picture and for the first time in my life I saw the truth!

Thank you Bob,
Truth Adventurer™

Hi, my name is Mary Johnson and I am another Truth Adventurer™.

I sent in my picture and felt immediate fulfillness. Then I guaranteed myself eternal paradise in the Brilliant Light of Ecstasy™ simply by letting my Mediator nuzzle my bosom so that he could free my heart from lies... and it only took 40 minutes!

Thank you Bob
Mary Johnson
Truth Adventurer™

Hi, I'm Jenny! When I became a Truth Adventurer™ my life turned around completely! I used to be broke and now I am rich! I wasn't happy then and now I am really happy!

I owe everything to my Mediator Bob!

Thank you Bob, I'll do anything you say!

No, thank you! You're the ones who made the right decision and guaranteed yourselves happiness for the rest of your lives!
Thank yourselves!

I have thousands of these letters from real life people! But if you still have your doubts I suggest trying it out for yourself free of charge! Send me your Self-Imaging-Association Images of Truth to: ImagesOfTruth@

and prepare yourself for wonderful things!

What do you have to lose?

"You are the lowest, slimiest, cruelest, unintelligent person I have ever come in contact with."

Dear "Normal Bob Smith" with BIG issues,

What is wrong with you????? Do you even KNOW who Jesus is?!?!!?!?!? Do you know what he did for YOU???? Obviously not. He DIED, did you hear me, He DIED for YOU!!!!!!! Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior, died for me, the rest of his followers, and a low-down piece of dirt like you. How can you do this to Him? After what he's done for you, this is how you repay Him???? You just'll get your's. Then we'll see who'll be sorry.

All of the Christians, in Heaven with God, or you, down in Hell with your brother, Satan. It's people like you that makes this world so corrupt. Why can't you just try to understand??? Do you even know what the Bible looks like? Maybe, just maybe, you should pick one up and read it before you go passing judgement on something you probably don't even understand!!! It would be so different if you knew what and who you were mocking before you did it. You know nothing, and I mean NOTHING about Christianity, and that is why you mock it. You're afraid of it; you're a coward. You are AFRAID to let Him into your life! You think you're better than He is, well pal, you're NOT! You're not above anyone, not anyone!!!!!!! You are the lowest, slimiest, cruelest, unintelligent person I have ever come in contact with. And I hope you realize this before your judgement day. May God have pity on you.

May your soul be saved before it is too late. I will pray for you...but you must also help yourself.....don't be a coward. Let God into your life as your savior!!!


Oh my goodness Jessica! Low-down piece of dirt? Idiot? Slimy? Does this site actually determine my level of sliminess?

You see, to me these things I've said and done seem quite reasonable. I suppose that I could see how somebody who thinks that Jesus was God and goes so far as to bow down to Him might think that I am mistaken. But I do not understand how my disbelief makes me unintelligent.

I think that I'm being quite logical about it all. I don't buy into nonsense and a lot of claims in the Bible sound so "made up". But even if it were all true, why does He rest the fate of our eternal souls on this short time on Earth? It seems like there'd be a better, more accurate way to judge us rather than by who believes His stories and who doesn't. In fact, that sounds like the sort of requirement someone would make for something that is untrue.

And then I read crazy letters like yours with all of the name calling, judging and hurtful wishes and I get the idea that people who do believe in demon possession, eternal paradise and talking snakes are the ones who are unintelligent.

So your request for me to let your god into my life sounds very unappealing. I don't want to be anything like you; thinking such awful things about people who don't believe those weird stories. I'm sure that you see where I'm coming from.

Thank you for your letter.

" I don't agree with "devil-worshiping" or gay people."

Look, I totally understand where you are coming from. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions about religion. Obviously, your's are different than mine.

And I know as well as you that this is acceptable. I apologize for calling you everything I did. Just because you don't believe does not make you unintellingent, and I'm sorry. But, I still don't see why you feel you need to mock or critisize Christianity as a whole.

There are many things on this glorius earth that I, and more than likely you, do not agree with. I don't agree with "devil-worshiping" or gay people. But I do not have a web site dedicated to making the lives of these people a joke. I guess that is what bugs me the most about you. I can easily see from your email to me that you are an intelligent person. So why don't you see where I'm coming from? But I do have one question: WHY don't you believe? What about it all (the Bible) seems so untrue to you? I really appreciate your response to me. You see, all of my friends and family have these beliefs about God and Jesus, and the stories of the Bible. I consider myself a Christian, but do not have the same beliefs. I guess I have my own type of religion. "Jessicanity", if you will. I really enjoy, as wierd as that sounds, talking back and forth with you and trying to understand your insight on Christianity,as well as other stuff. Please try to keep in touch. Once again, I do apologize for my first email.


Jessica, You asked why I don't believe. I don't see how any mentally stable, grown adult could believe. They're stories written by mankind.

You know that part of the Bible that tells the story of how life began? There was Adam, and God took his rib and made a girl (Eve) and those two named every animal (and dinosaur?). Then the snake (that they had named) tempted them both to eat the "forbidden" fruit (like Snow White). Then they ate it. And then they felt shame and got dressed? And that's only the beginning! Do you believe that really happened?

You know, just because a book says it happened doesn't make it so. It is incredible to me that my insight would seem so mysterious to you... or anyone.

The people who wrote those stories 2000 years ago were nearly ape like. Their heads were concave. These people would try to extract demons from sick people. They didn't have the technology to shave their own faces never mind theorizing about the beginning of life. In those days when somebody came into town with stories of a bush starting on fire and then speaking out loud claiming to be God, it was believed. And it was written down. And it was told again and again. No one doubted. No one questioned. They simply believed. If they didn't believe, God could smite them somehow or they would be stoned or labeled a heretic and executed!

Today we are a much smarter society. There are things like science, common sense and evolution to aid us in finding the truth.

I think that there is a logical reason why you've chosen to believe only certain things from the Bible but still consider yourself a Christian (Jessicanity). Your common sense tells you that things don't make sense. Unfortunately you're not allowed to believe some stuff and then think other stuff isn't true. The Bible is a package deal. Why do you believe any of it?

I appreciate your apology, but knowing that you think I'm a slimy low-down piece of dirt makes "keeping in touch" with you kinda awkward. People don't realize how powerful their words are and how much they tell about the person who says them. If you take back the "slimy" comment I may be able to forgive you. But for now that's how I feel when I'm writing to you. Slimy. You know, you've seen my picture, maybe you could send me your picture? I think that it'd be a nice gesture on your part.


"I think he (God) made the apes, and then just kind of "went with the flow" of their design and made man.. "


I know exactly what you mean about Adam and Eve. Oh, and just upfront, I do take back the whole "slimy" thing. Sorry 'bout that. I can tell by your emails that you're not slimy, but more insightful than most people I've come in contact with.

Back to Adam and Eve. Making Eve from Adam's rib is wierd to begin with. Why would God need a rib to make Eve and not Adam? I don't really believe that, but I don't really believe in evolution, either. Who cares that we kinda look like apes? I know a guy whose face looks like my butt, but that's not where he came from. Seriously, though, if God did put us all here, I think he made the apes, and then just kind of "went with the flow" of their design and made man. And I don't get the whole dinosaur thing, either. First of all, I always heard that man did not live when dinosaur did. And if dinosaurs died from the whole Ice Age thing, how did man survive if God put us here first?? And even though I have all of these doubts, I can't help but kind of still believe in God and what the Bible says.

Maybe some things did happen, and that is what the Bible is BASED upon. Have you ever played the game "telephone"? You say one thing, but by the end of the game it has snowballed so far; it's unbelieveable! Isn't that a possibility as to what happened? I understand where your ideas and philosophies come from. And they do make sense, but it's so hard to knock the whole theory of God and His word. You're right; the Bible is a package deal. But why? Who says you have to believe EVERYTHING?? Do you even believe that God exists and is watching over us?? I think I do, but how did He get here if He made man????? Who made Him? It just doesn't seem to add up. I don't know why I believe some things but not others. I just do. Well, I would send you my picture, but I don't have a scanner anymore. But, my friend, Candy, does, and I can maybe have her scan a picture of me and then email it to me and then I'll email it to you. Is that okay? It might be a little while. But if we keep in touch, it'll be alright.

So, am I forgiven??? I am sorry that I judged you so fast and insulted your intelligence.


So I've moved up from an unintelligent low-down slimy piece of dirt to insightful? Stop, I'm blushing!

If you're living your life according to a "might be true", then the numerous questions you've asked in your letter shall remain unanswered. That's the downside of believing things that don't make sense. And sooner or later those unanswered questions catch up to you and they'll disrupt your life. That's what happened to me. That was when the truth forced itself onto me against my will. My capacity to believe those tales had run out. I fought it long and hard. It was upsetting and even scary, but now I feel in control over my life. I didn't when I left it up to God.

The best advise that I can give to you (or any girl in your situation) is go to a friend (like Candy), scan in a picture of yourself and email it to me. It is the first heroic step to reclaiming your independence and telling the world "This is who I am and I'm proud!" I'd also suggest that you begin that journey down the path of truth by choosing a picture that shows your chest and/or buttocks.

Don't do it for me, do it for yourself!
Email your photo(s) to:

Normal Bob Smith

"To actually think that I met a guy who was actually interested in myself and my thoughts, and not my body!"

You have been demoted to unintelligent low-dowm slimy piece of dirt again. So stop blushing!! How stupid of me! To actually think that I met a guy who was actually interested in myself and my thoughts, and not my body! Big surprise. Just so you know, you will NOT be recieving a picture of me at all, let alone one showing my chest or ass. Sorry. And I think now it's going to be a little hard for Me to keep in touch with You since you made that really unneccesary remark. Sorry. But, thank you. You've made me realize how much I DO need God in my life. I don't want to turn out like or be in touch with anyone like you.

Actually, for the first time in my life, I'm going to start going to church, and actually enjoy it. Thank you for helping me realize how much I actually need God and not you.


I was only making a suggestion! It's an exercise in self awareness for you (and possibly your girlfriends). The photos aren't for me... Jesus Christ! What kind of guy do you think I am?!? I am simply the mediator who guides you down the "Truth Path". I can send you a flyer about it if you'd email me your address and phone number. I'm trying to help for God's sake!

I honestly am interested in your mind. You seem very insightful and intelligent and most importantly, I respect you. I was really hoping to keep in touch. I've been learning so much and I was almost ready to repent.

I'll tell you what Jessica, if you get this picture taken for me I'll ask Jesus into my heart. If you really loved me (like God says you should) you'd do this for me.

Love, Bob


The Jessica Files part II!
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