Love Diaries

Bob Love Diaries
The Romantic Confessions of a Virgin Prude

Part 4
Thumbs Up 7Up!

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Part 1,
The First Action
Part 2, Paradise Missed
Part 3, Poetic Justice
Part 4, Thumbs Up 7Up!
Part 5,
I <3 NY
Part 6, Junior Prom
Part 7,
The Most Important Girl
Part 8, Julie
Part 9, Yesterday Sucked
Part 10, Between Friends
Part 11, Questions Answered
Part 12,
Art School Confidential
Part 13, Virginity Lost
Subject: I think I knew u once

Bob, I don't know how I ended up on this site but, the page that popped up was your story about heads up seven up and Missy Coffey. You wanting to be with Missy Coffey isn't as sad as the girls who wanted to BE Missy Coffey. I went to Elementary school with you.

You probably wouldn't remember me but, what I remember about you was that you had the best sense of humor.

My name was Jenny Gaither then, and I was in Mrs (Miss?) Kummer's class. I think I may have even gone to the same church as you. Anyway, I moved away to Littleton and my mom (They called her Mrs. G) worked at Carmody for a social studies teacher. I Can't remember his name. If you want to email feel free. And by the way I love the dress up Jesus. I think he would too.

ciao for now,


Sadly as I think back to the girls that I had crushes on in high school I am realizing that I developed a crush on any girl who was nice to me. And the ones who were nicest to me early on had the luxury of being on the receiving end of my longest, most devout crushes.

One of the first girls to ever be nice to me was the freakishly pretty Melissa Coffey.
The year was 1983 in a junior high classroom on a day when the teacher had nothing to teach us, so the game Thumbs Up 7-Up would replace learning. This day would be a turning point in my life, from Star Wars & He-Man action figures to devoting the rest of my time to thinking of girls.

I had quite a way of expressing my thoughts and feelings back then.

In the game Thumbs Up 7-Up, 7 children are chosen to come to the front of the room. Everyone else puts their head down on the desk, eyes closed and points their thumb up in the air. The 7 predetermined children at the front of the room silently go about and lower thumbs by touching them. After each of the 7 have made their selection and returned to the front of the room, everyone raises their head, opens their eyes and guesses who it was that touched his or her thumb. It's much simpler than my directions make it seem... and it was a neat way to find out who likes you (I need to round up some people and play this again sometime soon).

So the 7 were selected at random from our classroom, one of which was Melissa Coffey, or "Missy" as she was known. Moments before lowering my head, Missy made eye contact with me. My face buried in my arm, thumb up, my mind captured that last glance from Missy and held it. The shuffling of feet, giggling and thumb selecting could be heard all around the room... except for near me.

Every boy wanted Missy to fondle his thumb so that it would retract into fist and spell out "happily ever after" from that day forward. Would anyone select my piggy? The 10 foot radius around my desk was dead silent. Time was running out, I wasn't going to be "thumbed"! No humiliation could have been worse! What about Missy? She knew my thumb was there! What about me? And then in that utter quiet, as if it appeared floating out of thin air, a hand touched my thumb. It gently summoning it downward and then ever so gently holding my fist securing it tightly.

Fantastic colors bounced off the back of my eyelids. Beams of light pierced the darkness within my arm! My heart sprang to life, never again would it know loneliness. I anxiously awaited the teacher's call to lift our heads, and when that moment came and I looked to the front of the room, everyone's face was a blur except for one. I could only see Missy's face and she was smiling... at me!

There you go, summed up in three words.

Damn I was a mess despite all of the glitz and glamor I'd added to my yearbook pictures.

I remember Pete Lowenstein as he made his guess, "I think it was Missy."
She looked at him (he was far more popular than I) and shook her head. Oh my gosh! His heart shattered as mine leaped! Soon it was my turn to decide. All eyes were on me. Who did I think had Thumbs Up 7-Uped me? I hesitated... "Missy?"
And you know what? I was right! The teacher asked Missy who she had chosen, and she said "Bob". That's it, just "Bob".

From that day forward through the rest of junior high and into high school I maintained a steady crush on Missy Coffey who kept that fire burning by smiling at me 80% of the time I saw her in the hall... and dated everyone else.

I think that that crush came to an end in my Junior year of high school when I got my new "punk rock" haircut... and broke out into a severe case of acne that lasted 4 years.

You know, now that I think about it, Thumbs Up 7-Up had to involve the entire classroom getting their thumbs put down by someone, and with approximately 35 kids in a classroom that means that I was one of five kids she had to choose. And I think that Pete Lowenstein even dated her after that sometime? Jesus Christ! Forget I ever shared that story!



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All opinions, writings, illustrations & designs are that of Normal Bob Smith (C) 2000 - 2009


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