I know I'm a sinner because...
I make men realize what hell really is

List of top 3 sins I have to confess.
1. saved a hot guy from fucking an ugly chick
2. didn't have sex on sunday
3. masturbated with a crucifix

My favorite miracle that I've experienced is...
mutual masturbation

The music I enjoy that praises Jesus most is...
COMBICHRIST

The greatest gift God gave me is...
my tight... wet.... juicy.... little..well gift from god, if you will

The thing that Jesus loves most about me is...
my appetite..(for pleasure)

Heaven for me will be...
unicorns, candy, tattoos, and normal bob on a spinning cheetah print bed

Hell is so terrible because...
wait, when did it become so terrible

The thing I'd like most to tell Satan is...
"is that a mirror in your pocket..."

The thing I'd like most to tell Jesus is...
"thanks for nothing"

The non-believer I'm most concerned about is Normal Bob because...
he's not in bed with me

Normal Bob is important to me because...
he's my living fantasy

The reason I'd like to invite Normal Bob over to pray with me is because...
I'll take any chance i can get to be on my knees with him.