I know I'm a sinner because...
I look too fabulous not to be one.

List of top 3 sins I have to confess.
1. I'm a really REALLY bad driver.z
2. I give homeless people cigarettes filled with pencil shavings.
3. I invented the "hold the camera up next to yourself and take a
picture of yourself in the mirror" thing. Not really, but ain't it
annoying as fuck? Seriously, every chick on myspace.

List of top 3 things I did for Jesus this week:
1. My laundry. When my clothes are clean, I'm doing a service for
humanity, and that makes Jesus happy. I also helped my best cunt do her and mah buddy Atom's laundry. Because crust punks stink most of the time.
2. I ran up onstage in my underoos screaming "Oh God!" over and over and over again, therefore increasing Jesus awareness.
3. Gave my brother a Kit Kat bar. Jesus likes it when mentally
challenged people are happy. I mean it, he has autism. He owns you. And yer mom.

My favorite miracle that I've experienced is...
Volumax Freezing Spray and my "wash away the sins" hand cleaner. For when we sin alone in bed at night.

The music I enjoy that praises Jesus most is...
David Bowie and His magic crotch. Throw in the wonders of Motley Crue, The Damned, Alien Sex Fiend, Crass, Def Leppard, Scissor Sistors, Apoptygma Berzerk, Skinny Puppy, Specimen, Cinderella, The Adicts, and Sex Gang Children. Then you have yourself a punk rock, death rock, industrial, gayed up hair metal worshipping party!

The greatest gift God gave me is...
My lesbian-lookin' but non-lesbian-doin' tongue.

The thing that Jesus loves most about me is...
I can scream really loud. I can also put both of my feet behind my head

Heaven for me will be... Tight pants, endless store credit at Utrect, and never having a bad hair day again. By "bad hair day" I mean my hair WONT stand up.

Hell is so terrible because... Baggy pants and Barbara Streisand

The thing I'd like most to tell Satan is... "Bob, can I rub your shiny bald head?"

The thing I'd like most to tell Jesus is...
"I wish I could pull off a dress like you can."

The non-believer I'm most concerned about is Normal Bob because...
He promotes people like me.

Normal Bob is important to me because...
He's knows how to work a tux and survive in very cold weather, just like a penguin.

The reason I'd like to invite Normal Bob over to pray with me is because...
Bob is a sexed-up, dancin' machine.