I know I'm a sinner because...
Most good Christians don't get turned on by S&M... Jesus on the cross just does it for me

List of top 3 sins I have to confess.
1. I love making boys cry
2. I fake it nearly every time
3. I've left a boy tied up, naked, at his parents house after sex.

List of top 3 things I did for Jesus this week:
1. Danced naked on a stage and got paid for it
2. Skinny Dipped in my neighbors pool
3. Told twenty four-year-olds that god was made up by adults, just like Santa.

My favorite miracle that I've experienced is...
I'm still alive. That's pretty epic in itself.

The music I enjoy that praises Jesus most is...
A Perfect Circle

The greatest gift God gave me is...
The ability to rationalize he doesn't exist.

The thing that Jesus loves most about me is...
My ability to cram every single sin into one day

Heaven for me will be...
All of Normal Bob's underage school girls and me

Hell is so terrible because...
I was expecting Satan to keep up with me

The thing I'd like most to tell Satan is...
"Let's fucking PARTY!"

The thing I'd like most to tell Jesus is...
Eh, I'll pass