Name: Riot Rix
Location: The Central Coast of California. Too vague? Too bad.
Occupation: Bar Wench

I know I'm a sinner because...I ditched on my plans to call my grandmother today- to have sex with my girlfriend.

List of top 3 sins I have to confess.
1. In high school, alot of kids used to use bible paper to roll joints. Not me. I used it as blotter paper. And once, I was on a camping trip with a few Mormon friends, and we were out of TP. I used a few pages of The Book of Mormon. (Which is only half of a sin anyway, because everybody knows that He hates Mormons.)
2. I like to say "Jesus Christ" during sex. And I'm not even procreating.
3. I blamed a fart on St. Brigid once.

List of top 3 things I did for Jesus this week:
1. I'm drinking a toast to Him right now.
2. I like to think that "Rocket Queen", by Guns N' Roses, is about Jesus. So, I listen to that song five times a day, in lieu of prayer.
3. This survey.

The music I enjoy that praises Jesus most is... Last month, when I was driving down the side of a mountain at 90 mph on LSD, I survived. That was a fuckin' miracle.

The greatest gift God gave me is... A high enough IQ to think that He's full of shit.

The thing that Jesus loves most about me is... Jesus doesn't love me. He's just using me for the sex.

Heaven for me will be...My life, but without so many morons.

Hell is so terrible because...God doesn't provide sunscreen. Not even SPF15!!!

The thing I'd like most to tell Satan is... That he has been an inspiration for some of the greatest music ever made.

The thing I'd like most to tell Jesus is...Dude, we can all see your diaper. Next time You want to die for all mankind's sins, do us a favor and wear something that'll make PR's job easier.

The non-believer I'm most concerned about is Normal Bob because... For a sinner, he doesn't seem to get out much. We should all fix that. After all, what's the point of sinning half-assed?