July 23, 2004

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OFFICIAL SEAL

There was the most heartwarming reunion of friends this last Wednesday. It was between me and the Unholy Army of Catholic School Girls! Why such a reunion? Because it was time once again to paint the town Godless!

Kat, Lisa and Anto, with newcomers NiXXX and Wendy, all reuniting again under the same roof (Starbucks) for what we knew would be another exciting day without God! Little did we know what an extra ordinary day it'd be!
...Oh, who am I kidding. We fucking knew.


Me & the girls at Starbucks discussing plans to take over the universe now that we've so easily defeated God.

Katie & Anto embrace after such a long time apart.

After getting our picture taken in front of the touristy Cube we made a mad dash to the subway bound for Times Square! With handfuls of fliers and our hearts free of Jesus we hit the city subways with a blasphemous bang!

Unruly and unrepentant, I hardly have the power to keep the girls behaved. What little control I've got I use to keep them within 40 feet of me. Other than that these trouble makers run the show. I am but their mascot/mentor.


On the subway to Times Square.

The girls get sassy on the subway to Times Square.
When we hit Times Square is was like that scene from Reservoir Dogs. Fuck, we looked so bad ass. It gets that George Baker song goin' through my head just seein' this picture to the left... "Lookin' back, on the track, for a little green baaag, Gotta find just that kind or losin' my minnnnd..."

So we I went to where the action was... Spiderman!

During a minor no-contact, photo-opt confrontation, I proved victorious, defeating the second most popular superhero on the planet (second only to Jesus).

But it wasn't long before my strength was put to the ultimate test against another super hero who's the embodiment of both Jesus' love and sculpted physique. Who could that be?

The Naked Cowboy (looking doughier than usual) immediately caught the girls' eyes. Fortunately, and not surprisingly, he had a tattoo of Jesus Christ on his left shoulder and this sent the girls screaming!


I know it looks as if he got a good hit in but just after this picture was taken I ate him.


The fliers that were offered him were tossed to the ground while he stated "I don't want any part of this!" Almost as if he were about to cry. Some cowboy! Pansy.

Offending the Naked Cowboy was number 149 on my "Things to do this summer" list, so I was elated. I proudly check marked that open box and we moved onto the 150's: Offend each and every tourist in New York City. This was going to be fun!

 

Page 2 of The Unholy Army Together Again!