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Let
me begin by telling you that Corey Feldman's name appears
first in the credits (even before the movie title), while
his best friend (the guy playing Dinger) doesn't even
appear until long after the title and supporting actors
have been listed... TAKE THAT PRETTY BOY! |
Our
story begins in the LA home of Corey Feldman, Dinger and Dinger's
sister Rachel, played by Corey's real life girlfriend, Robyn
Lively (No one important). Early one morning a mysterious
package arrives in the mail. It's 2 pair of the coolest sunglasses
you've ever seen! Electric blue airbrush tinting, very reminiscent
of Michael Jackson early nineties... not a coincidence as
you'll soon discover.
Dinger
and Corey put them on and soon discover that they're no ordinary
pair of sunglasses. Not only do they induce "trippy"
colors but they also seem to communicate feelings between
the "wearers"(Corey's idea, guaranteed). This allows
one wearer to control the feelings of the other wearer. The
brainstorming didn't stop there. The "wearers",
even after removing the glasses, will have dreams that predict
the future. Wow, talk about the coolest sunglasses ever! Wouldn't
it be cool if they were real?!
The
"sunglasses" angle on this movie is no accident.
It's Corey's opportunity to wear sunglasses throughout an
entire film and show everyone just how cool he looks in them.
Genius. Pure genius.
With
the sunglasses comes a letter as well. Dinger, being the quirky,
cute, lovable sidekick to Corey that he is, accidentally spills
cola on the letter. This sets up Corey for the classic reading-
of- a- smudged- letter routine.
Corey
reading letter: "Dear Bobby and Dinger, Advava ava
favan fla navan va va fa va, be careful, love Coleman."
Yeah Corey, it was funny back when I saw it in "The Jerk".
But he is just trying to showcase his talents so let us move
on.
Speaking
of showcasing talent, at one point Dinger and his
sister are prodding Corey to put the glasses on again.
No real reason, just 'cause. I started asking myself
"What are they up to?".
Corey plays "hard to get" but after much
begging, Corey "gives" saying, "Don't
make me do anything stupid."
Ah oh, what's he gonna showcase now?
A drum beat starts... wait, where'd all the furniture
go? What's with the music? WHY IS COREY FELDMAN DRESSED
LIKE MICHAEL JACKSON?!? Then it happens! HOORAY! Corey
does this killer Michael Jackson number. He did it
in Dream a Little Dream 1 but that was 6 years ago!
I can't believe that he's doin' it again! And Boy,
he's got every move down! it's not to a Michael Jackson
song either! No! It's to his own song "Feelin'
Funky" written and performed by Corey Feldman!
It
has nothing to do with the plot and it's completely
tacked on but it's a minute and a half of pure ecstasy!
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It's
only 15 minutes into the movie, can you believe it!
Prepare
yourself, more than half of this movie is shot in this tacky
suburban home. I'm sure that it's due to the film's pitifully
small budget. I also suspect that the house is Corey's. There
is no reason why they're all living there. How could they
possibly afford this mansion. Dinger works at Condomania (a
condom store)... cool. While Corey works in a sunglasses store...
and it doesn't get any cooler than that.
But I love it. Watching the Corey's act out their definition
of "cool" and doing whatever they want (no real
script) is my "little dream" come true.
Of
course it's a beautiful woman that enters this complicated
plot line. This is where you realize how short Corey is. The
model playing the beautiful villain is easily 5' 10".
Corey Feldman, on the other hand is short. Very short. I'm
guessing 4 and a half feet or so. He's trying to play an adult
next to this model and, well, it's a damn shame. Listen to
this.
He's walking up to the front door of his home. Why? Because
that's where this whole film takes place. And she surprises
him...
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"You
Bobby Hiller?" |
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After
looking her up and down his shock turns to a cool smirk.
"Ahem, yes, yes, as a matter of fact I am."
There's the slightest breath of contrived cuteness dropped
into the word "matter". When you hear it you'll
begin to see the premeditated, self indulgent method to
Corey's acting. He tops it off with a "Don Knotts-esque"
sniffle and nose wipe. |
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"I'm
Lina Draggo."
She walks to him with her hand extended. This is where
Corey's stubbiness is revealed. |
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"Hi,
how are ya', nice to meet ya."
More
adorable stuttering Corey style.
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"You're
different from what I expected."
Yeah, he's a fucking dwarf! |
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"I'm
different...ah, eh, how do I know you? I've never seen
you...wha..."
At
this point the stuttering has moved from cute to totally
plagiarizing Woody Allen.
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"When
Coleman spoke of you he made it sound as if you were just
a boy."
Oh yeah, we're buyin' that Corey is a man now... right. |
Corey's
delivery of this mediocre dialog is mesmerizing. He's under
the assumption that hand gesturing during his delivery is
an acting style and a character trait. They are constantly
waving about with every three dollar word and the hands remain
in one of two alternating positions.
1) Flat palm fingers together (like a karate chop).
2) Pointing like a pantomime gun (thumb out, index
finger extended).
It's very deliberate and falls squarely into his definition
of "cool". His thought process is a labyrinth of
what is cool. It's absolutely riveting!
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after much discussion she gets the whereabouts of the
magic sunglasses, lures him with the suggestion of kinky
sex, handcuffs and blindfolds him to his bed and splits.
We are left with the disturbing giggles of Corey anticipating
the encounter. He squirms about the bed saying lines like,
"Ready when you are hon-ey..." and "I'm
so glad you shut the door, I like privacy." and "I
think privacy is very important when two people are sharing
such an intimate moment such as this." It's an image
you won't soon forget. |
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It
doesn't take long before someone comes home sets Corey free.
The bad guys have the glasses and part 2 of this movie takes
place in the hotel where Lina Draggo (isn't that a cool name?)
is hiding out.
There
are several points in this movie when Corey has to make himself
dream so that he can see into the future. He's a very powerful
character and I'm sure it follows his list of demands to do
this movie. More dreams mean more portfolio for Corey Feldman,
movie star. In this particular set of dreams he shows us his
"Southern Tele-Evangalist Gospel Preacher" character.
To him this is a notable impersonation.
While
all of this is going on, Dinger has been thrown in jail, another
victim of Lina's seductive trap. From his cell, Dinger and
an inmate use telepathy to help Corey predict the future and
retrieve the sunglasses and catch the bad guys.
Eventually
Corey, Rachel, Lina and a miscellaneous bad guy are on the
roof of the hotel with the glasses. The bad guy puts on one
pair and at gunpoint, makes Corey put on the other pair. He's
attempting to make Corey shoot everyone using the mind control
of the magic glasses. Corey fights the power of the sunglasses
(a sampling of Corey's dramatic acting style) and shoots the
bad guy in the knee (PG-13).
Back
at the house the roommates reunite and Corey decides that
it'd be best to destroy the glasses. Dinger and Rachel agree
with this decision so that they can be in another one of his
movies.
This
film is topped off with the credits rolling to another Corey
Feldman original. It's a rock-n-roll number "Perfect
Woman (No Such Thing As)" and it shows us once and for
all that Corey Feldman is going to someday be a talent to
be reckoned with... you just wait and see!
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