that can't be missed.

"Finally a man is listening"

I'm guessing that you've already heard about the classic "leg-waxing" scene in this movie! Oh, it's the best thing since Macaulay Culkin's face-slap scream!

It's hilarious! You can't miss it! You really can't miss it, it's been written into this movie several times. So I'm serious when I say that it can't be missed.

Movie suggestions?
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This Thanksgiving weekend I rented three movies. All three I strongly advise seeing. All three for very different reasons.
First, Chickenhawk. If ever there was a film to be hated by the common public, yet absolutely necessary for them to see, it is this. It is a documentary on the organization NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association). It is a riveting & insightful portrait of men who molest little boys, and the ways that their minds operate.
Next was Come Get Some, The Gorgeous Girls of the WWF. This doesn't quite push as many buttons, but riveting in it's own right.

And finally, today's entry into the Worst That Can't Be Missed...
Rating: 3 Faces of Pity
Pretentious Piece of Shit
Mel Gibson completely sold out all men so that he could be worshipped for 126 minutes. That's right, over two hours.
Broken Hollywood Thermostat
Up your Butt
It's Mel Gibson!
Remember him?!
You love him!!
Funny... but not "Ha ha" funny
You'll shriek in terror when you witness Mel's delivery. It's cocky, it's slapstick and most importantly, very unfunny.

What Women Want
Starring: Mel Gibson & Helen Hunt
Written, Directed & Produced by Nancy Meyers

It was by far the most frightening of the trio.

Watch out everyone! This movie reveals every secret, exposes all truth and solves the mystery of women. Any questions you've had will be answered, while all hopes and dreams that you've kept most tender shall be stomped on. Killed dead. This movie was written, directed and produced by one woman, Nancy Meyers. Ladies, you've just been sold out.

It's the story of the ultimate male chauvinist S.O.B. as interpreted by Nancy Meyers, appropriate for a "cynical" Oprah audience, and sweetened heavily with Mel Gibson. It's all served up to you on a tray of Hallmark political correctness.

Mel's depiction of the M.S.P. is a guy who overuses the terms "broads" and "babes" when he's referring to chicks. He's a man that avoids women's sports on TV (because it's not a woman's place), and he sometimes refers to certain woman as "bitch" (when they're not around). Still we all can't help but love him because we all know that deep down inside the womanizers care... very, very much. They just don't know how to express their feelings : (

Mel's world gets turned topsy-turvy when he decides that he's going to try on woman's clothing / make-up to help him get a perspective for a line of women's products he has to promote. So then he falls into a tub of water with a hairdryer while he's doing this. He survives the massive electrocution (this part of the movie I found disappointing), and he obtains a special magic power as a result. He now has the ability to read the minds of women (because he was dressed like one when he fell in the tub). Ironically this is the most believable premise offered up by this movie.

One of the premises being that Mel can do comedy. Nancy Meyers tried to solve her and Mel's comedy handicap by adopting a mind numbing style of "joke" delivery.
Rule #1: Run-on dialog. There is no #2.
This Run-on dialog technique allows no space in between gags for an audience to realize how unfunny it is. The actors are instructed not to pause, hesitate or breath during the "funny" parts. This means that no one has to have good timing for punchlines or an ability to set one up. The awkwardness gets drowned out by this technique, and the audience gets railroaded into thinking they're amused. I swear it'll make your head spin.

So, what are women thinking? Here's the scoop!
Women are mostly thinking really cute thoughts like "Uh oh, I just looked at Mel Gibson's groin!" or "Gosh, why doesn't Mel Gibson ask me out on a date?"

Women are also thinking a lot of caring, sensitive thoughts and any "bad stuff" is always phrased adorably.
Here is what women aren't thinking. They don't think about anything too controversial (religion, politics, inappropriate racial jokes, etc...)

They never ever think curse words. Instead they use cute terms like "Schmuk" and "Oopsy!" They don't think anything that could be considered conceited or judgmental like, "Christ, this fucking creepy old man (Mel) thinks he's hot shit! Quit rubbing on me you perv!"
When it comes to Mel Gibson, women never think anything more negative than "Hey, lighten up on the cologne, blue eyes!"
Now you know. There is no hope.

Hey guys! Women love to have their beverages "accidentally" spilled on their breasts as an excuse to be felt up.

And for all of you lucky ladies out there thinking these thoughts, Nancy Meyers has a little present prepared for you! It's an adorable solo dance number where Mel showcases his jazzy softshoe. You see, one of the many sexy things that Mel does when he's alone (and feeling manly) is dance. What's his masculine tune of choice you ask? George Thurogood? Ted Nuget? The Thong Song?
Answer: No.
Mel (Nancy Meyers) listens to Sinatra... and dances around his luxurious penthouse... in the moonlight... with a coat rack. You'll be wishing him (and perhaps yourself) dead by a speeding bullet through the window.
But instead we are privileged to lay our eyes on the great multitude of women who love everything about Mel Gibson, and we get to see his character's dramatic transformation from a cute guy that calls women "babes" to a cute guy that stops using the term and cries more. He's two characters in one!

So Mel takes advantage of his new found power by using women in every way. He steals their ideas, has sex with them, even makes them fall in love with him. Then he sees the error of his ways, just out of the blue.

After Mel learns all of the lessons Nancy Meyers wants men to learn, she figures out a way for him to lose the magical power (I was curious as to how they were going to handle this). So while walking through Chinatown, an old Chinese woman telepathically tells him to walk down a particular alleyway. He is puzzled but obliges her... because she's Chinese and the encounter seems somehow magical. He goes down the alley, lightning strikes an electrical box on a building, sparks fall down on Mel in slow motion, and his powers vanish! Taken away by God!

Then he goes and saves a girl's life who he'd once heard thinking about committing suicide. He stops her and tells her he's going to give her a huge promotion where he works (because she's suicidal).

Then he heads over to Helen Hunt's house and tells her he loves her. Mel (being his new honest self) also admits to her that he stole her good ideas to advance his career. She fires him (leaving about 2 seconds of suspense) then they fall in love happily ever after. End of movie.
Except for the suicidal girl he told he was going to promote before he was fired. Oh well, fuck her. No reason to revisit that headcase.

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